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He Cheated!

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I'm so angry right now!!! Once I get a-hold of Tom I'm going to yell at him, I might break up with him.. I don't know. But I am pissed off. He talked to this slut online before he meet me and he wanted to be with her and she didn't want to be with him.

The slut let him a comment on myspace about giving him a lap dance for his birthday.. and she still wants to.. here is his myspace.


Well then she added me to livejournal.. and I was reading her lj and I I read a convo she had with him.. This convo was a day after he asked me out..

angelicmoogleman = Tom

NeedforAsyum = slut Jasmine..

Monday, January 10th, 2005

5:14 pm

angelicmoogleman: mmm dip

NeedforAsylum: eeeewwwwiiiieeee

angelicmoogleman: *starts kissing you and spits it in your mouth :-P*

angelicmoogleman: haha

angelicmoogleman: that would be amusing

angelicmoogleman: but im not that mean

angelicmoogleman: mmmm second hand dip cancer

NeedforAsylum: eewwww don't do that to me!!!

angelicmoogleman: haha

angelicmoogleman: you know i love you to much to

he's such a sick fuck, but i love him anyway.

I'm getting so depressed, mad!!! blah.. I don't know what the hell to do.. This is making me more depressed and I really do feel like cutting or burning.

It feels like our whole relationship was a lie. I think was he really happy about my pregnancy or did he just FAKE IT!!!! DOES HE FAKE BEING IN LOVE WITH ME!!

I've been with him since I was 15. We got our first place togeather..

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here's just my opinion, and i'm no expert in the love department-

well, does he still communicate with her? talk to her? does she mean anything to him now? are they living close enough together to see each other?

she could just have a fantasy about him, and maybe when you guys were getting together he wanted you but still had that whatever it was on the side. that's not uncommon for people in new relationships. there are always old ones to contend with, that need to bite the dust.

i'd ask yourself, and him- why is she saying these things? is he with her and does he want to be wiht her? he's obviousyl with you, but are they living close enough together to make her fantasy a reality?

don't hurt yourself over this guy. no guy is worth it- nothing is worth it- but especially no guy. i know he means a lot, but you've got to figure out how much he's got invested in her and if he's cheating or not. and decide what you feel cheating is. is cybersex cheating? are hot emails cheating? what is cheating? phone sex?

i wouldn't hold it against him that he was an ass years ago. that doesn't mean your whole relationship is a lie, or that he's faking being in love with you. sometimes guys are just after one thing, and lust can momentarily overrule love.

let him know that you know, that it really upsets you and bothers you, and that you even question his love. let him defend himself. ask him all those questions i gave you to ask. decide for yourself what to do with him, and if you believe him, when he answers. i think you'll know if you're being played or not. don't be afraid to call him on it if you think he's lying

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Could it be innocent, but OBVIOUSLY inappropriate flirting? Sometimes I fucking hate the Internet for this reason.

My bf is a musician and has his slutty little groupies. When we first got together there was alot of that online myspace and LJ flirting but I threw a hissy fit from hell and it put a stop to it. Then I discovered he even had kept profiles on personals sites and was enjoying the messages for an ego boost (although he never replied). I was obsessively logging into all of his accounts monitoring everything, creating fake accounts to bait him and see what he would do and driving myself more and more insane until I just said fuck it and broke up with him. He then took everything down that was inappropriate, admitted it was wrong and was just a harmless ego boost.

It took awhile but I learned to trust and now we have been living together for almost 2 years and I rarely check up on his Internet activity now. On rare occasions when I am feeling particularly crazy and go all private eye, I find nothing incriminating.

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This is really the oppurtunity to establish how communication is going to go in your relationship.

You can looking at this situation as Black & White and approach him in that manner, with the assumption that it means everything you fear- that he loves her, wants to be with her, is cheating nd doing all these nasty things with her.

Option two:

Basically say "Look. I am freaking the fuck out. It seems like this chick is all over you. She's saying she wants to give you a lap dance, there is this conversation. It's not looking good. It's pissing me off and making me feel like crap and I need an explanation"

Then, you are explaining what is going on in your head, how it's making you feel and that he's got some explaining to do.

Because it could just be that this girl doesn't get what boundaries are and that your guy doesn't get what might upset you. Especially if this sort of back and forth bizarre flirting was going on before you went out. It could be all stupid gross joking from their point of view, even though it really isn't appropriate.

But if you aren't entirely sure about what the hell is going on, maybe he should have a chance to tell you what it is.

Then you can give him a shit storm?

It's really really hard to not assume the worst immediately. Sometimes it IS the worst. Because it's scary when there is this other person who was involved at some point. But there are times when it isn't what we think.

I don't know. Just what I would think to do. I don't know if it's a 'good' thing to do or not. Just what I would do to find out what is going on.

Whatever you decide or what happens, I hope you figure stuff out.

Let us know?


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