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What do YOU have to be anxious about?


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I really hate it when people ask me that... "What do YOU have to be anxious about?" I guess I can see where they're coming from. I don't work. I'm a stay-home mom with only one kid in the house, so it's not like I have a small pack to drive me crazy. I really don't do much of anything. I don't have some horrible boss to deal with everyday or some horrible job that I can't stand.... My marriage is actually pretty good. I mean, it could be better, but at least I know the guy loves me.

But, still.... I have this ever-present anxiety. I am constantly irritable. I lose my patience at the drop of a hat - which is bad news for my 4-year-old daughter. I don't find much pleasure in life. I am constantly worrying about everything - the budget (which is in great shape due to my obsessive control of the finances) - retirement savings - the future. I can't ever really relax because if I find myself relaxing, I automatically start searching for "that thing" that I should be worrying about. So, I get those butterflies in my stomach all over again. I HATE those butterflies. Will they EVER go away?

I really don't enjoy life that much. And, no one seems to understand that. Even when things seem perfect, I ALWAYS find the misery in every situation. I just can't relax enough to enjoy the moment. I am far too focused on the "what-if's" in the future... The impending doom that is always right around the corner....

Can anyone relate?

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Silly me, I can SO relate. I'm in the same situation you're in - except swap out four yr old daughter for six yr old son. My take... I'm just an anxious person. I think it's more of a personality type (Type A). My mom is a very anxious person, I grew up with her worrying constantly. CBT, behavior modification has helped me some. Daily practice being calmer, lots of meditation, yoga, and journaling. Taking breaks helps tramendously (getting a babysitter and going shopping with a friend) if only for that particular day. Benzos help when I get out of control. I wish I knew how to "cure" it, but I'm afraid no matter what I will always be this person. Not much help, but I know how you feel.

Croix

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I can totally relate. I do have a 4yo daughter at home, a 6yo son in school. (a college sophmore as well, but she's on her own) I feel anxiety over everything. It's a wonder I ever sleep at night. It's a struggle trying to raise a child in this way, and yeah, my patience tends to be limited too. My tdoc and I just talked about anxiety, and I'll be trying relaxation therapy. Still won't keep me from asking pdoc for more xanax.

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That is the nature of generalized anxiety disorder....it is an inappropriate amount of anxiety.

Gosh, I wish all humans just came equipped with an understanding of the human mind...or AT LEAST made an effort to understand the different disorders.

I feel ya. I get the same question about depression. Which ends up making me feel more guilty for feeling depressed cause other people think I shouldn't be.

But you know you....and that is what is most important.

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for the anxiety issue on the level you have previously described in other threads, i'd recommend here, again, to give lex a chance. it is a beign drug for the most part, a very mild one compared to the benzos and anti-psychotics as VE pointed out, and will help with any depressive issues you may have going on too.

my mom went off of lex for a long time (she's bp1 but very anti-med) and is now back on it. she understands that she needs it, despite her normally anti-med position (and she doesn't want me to take my meds- she's a bit off!).

besides medicinal therapies, which i would highly recommend as they stay in your system constantly and help constantly, there are things like yoga, meditation, journaling, listening to music that is soothing to you, drawing/coloring (as weird as it sounds, it is very relaxing), exercise, stuff that is fun to you, and therapy.

sometimes you just need a break. get a baby sitter and just be by yourself. or explain to your husband that you feel this issue and ask him to pitch in for awhile while you have a chance to breathe.

a little bit of this stuff can go a long way.

they had me do those things i mentioned above in addition to taking my meds every time i've been in the psych ward. i can attest that they help. otherwise, why would they have us do them? go for it and discover what you feel helps you best.

good luck

loon

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Hi SillyMe

When you've got an anxiety disorder, it really doesn't matter what your life circumstances are...it's a chemical/physiological and sometimes genetic thing and you just can't help it. Meds can help, therapy can help, lifestyle adjustments can help, but to a certain extent, you're stuck with it and you just have to learn to live with anxiety as a companion on your life journey. Like it or not, unfortunately. There is, of course, plenty of sympathy here...we all know how hard it can be.

One thing to keep in mind, though...it's not really important what other people think of what you're going through. It's not their journey. They just don't know what it's like to be you. They don't have your brain, your wiring, your challenges. They may be full of advice, they may act like, Hey, what gives? Your life's *easy* but screw them! Mental illness is f-ing HARD and they just don't know what they're talking about. How ever you choose to respond, know in your mind and heart that they Just Don't Know.

You're doing the best you can.

I'm a stay home mom, too, by the way. It's a tough job. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Take care,

~Cat

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Yea dont let anyone tell ya how you can or should feel !!!! .... i mean we all have our struggles which are different in each way thats what makes us unique ... when ya feel anxiety ... ya dont really think clear and nothing seems right ... we all go through this we all have the symptons .. and we have the moments when it seems like a lost cause however but we are able to come here and feel the love and support of the fine people here !!... so you will be fine silly .... cause we all can relate one way or the other

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