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I Will Never Get Better


Squirlygrl

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In the past two years, I have tried fourteen meds, and been to the hospital once. I keep having breakthrough depresssion, sometimes serious.

I still haven't put my life back together. There are gains, but they are tentative, and I'm still worse off than when I started.

Dammit! Can I really be this sick?

Do I have to fire my doctor? I like him -- he is really, really good in emergencies -- and his med choices made sense at the time. But I'm not well.

Do people with this kind of track record get all the way better, even if it's only in between episodes?

I'm tempted to go back to being unmedicated. Yes, a crisis sent me to the doctor in the first place. But it was a relatively rare one. I still think I was healthier before I got treatment.

Help,

SG

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Yes. You can be. Sucks ass don't it?

Aren't you the one who keeps trying to come off your meds against your doc's better judgment?

If you do find a combo that works, my advice would be to stick with it if it kills you. Each time you have an episode it increases the likelihood that you'll have another one and the chances that the next one will be worse than the previous one. It's best to take medication to prevent recurrence.

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Aren't you the one who keeps trying to come off your meds against your doc's better judgment?

No. Once, over a year ago, I took a five-day med holiday. Before and since, I've been compliant.

I've done a fair amount of wondering out loud why I comply. That's probably what you remember.

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