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Okay, I need some serious help here

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I am bipolar. I'm on wellbutrin and seroquel.

A few months ago I read an article about a 15 month old child being raped and murdered. I obsessed over it for days. I was totally freaking out and couldn't stop thinking about it. When that went away I started having intrusive, violent thoughts, which I've read is OCD or something. It's usually about knives, which are my hugest fear in the world. Well, that and sharks.

It's always sharp objects or boiling water. I can't stop other thoughts that come in either. I can't even bear to repeat them here. It's AWFUL.

When people tell me stories of abuse or child getting hurt I really freak out BAD. I can't stop thinking about it and I get scared something will happen to my children.

What the hell is wrong with me????

I can't live like this!!!

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That sounds like it's very frightening to you. I'm not a mod on the OCD board but I wanted to make sure you got a quick reply, so:

Is there something in particular that is bringing this up badly for you right now? Do you have anything prescribed to you PRN that can help with this?

Have you talked with your pdoc about these thoughts? If not, this would be the best thing to do. If you can't see him in a reasonable amount of time, try calling him or passing a note through the secretary.

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Hey Honey, I hope you are feeling a little bit better since you have posted this. What you are experiencing is completely "normal" for someone with OCD. You aren't alone, a lot of us here have these kinds of thoughts. I get these disgusting thoughts about having sex with people I am not attracted to, and beating people I love to death. I would, of course, never do any of these things but it's still scary to me.

I don't really know what to say, so I am just saying what I would want someone to say to me. You aren't alone. Nothing is "wrong" with you as a person. For me the best way for me to avoid these thoughts was to avoid the triggers to them. I stopped watching the "news" about a year ago, and crime TV shows and that drastically reduced my inrustive thoughts, or the sexual ones atleast.

I hope this helps some. :-)

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