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I feel like crap. I'm depressed as hell. I can't seem to improve how I feel no matter how much I desparately need it. My stomach cramps 24/7. I feel like I'm constantly hungry but eating doesn't make it go away. Many times I can't get to sleep. Every day and every night is the same. Work eat lay down sleep. Work eat lay down sleep. I just lay here wondering why the hell I'm on earth. Bit of a party next door, people talking and laughing, why do I miss out all the time in life? Why am I doomed to waste days, weeks away lying in bed, on the computer. I try to get out a bit, go for walks. But I just look in on the rest of the world, an outsider. I've missed out on so much in life. Almost all major milestones in life have surpassed me. I never had what others take for granted.

I never had a proper mother (just a cold rejecting mother who favoured the other kids in family and almost constantly showed her dislike for me in every little and not so little way imaginable). I never went to the school ball. I never had a 21st birthday party. I never went to my graduation ceremony. I never had a good relationship with a man. My kids never had their dads around. I've never married. I've never owned my own flat/house. I've never had much money. I don't have any savings whatsoever for my old age (now 38). My kids have left home. I'm all alone. I have just 1 person I can call a friend, my ex bf. He only stays in touch cos he's afraid I might kill myself.

Ok vent over, at least for now.

I'm considered physically attractive but it doesn't help. I'm still alone. I'm getting older. Just waiting for my life to end now. I just want to be at peace and not have to exist anymore.

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I feel like crap. I'm depressed as hell. I can't seem to improve how I feel no matter how much I desparately need it. My stomach cramps 24/7. I feel like I'm constantly hungry but eating doesn't make it go away. Many times I can't get to sleep. Every day and every night is the same. Work eat lay down sleep. Work eat lay down sleep. I just lay here wondering why the hell I'm on earth. Bit of a party next door, people talking and laughing, why do I miss out all the time in life? Why am I doomed to waste days, weeks away lying in bed, on the computer. I try to get out a bit, go for walks. But I just look in on the rest of the world, an outsider. I've missed out on so much in life. Almost all major milestones in life have surpassed me. I never had what others take for granted.

I never had a proper mother (just a cold rejecting mother who favoured the other kids in family and almost constantly showed her dislike for me in every little and not so little way imaginable). I never went to the school ball. I never had a 21st birthday party. I never went to my graduation ceremony. I never had a good relationship with a man. My kids never had their dads around. I've never married. I've never owned my own flat/house. I've never had much money. I don't have any savings whatsoever for my old age (now 38). My kids have left home. I'm all alone. I have just 1 person I can call a friend, my ex bf. He only stays in touch cos he's afraid I might kill myself.

Ok vent over, at least for now.

I'm considered physically attractive but it doesn't help. I'm still alone. I'm getting older. Just waiting for my life to end now. I just want to be at peace and not have to exist anymore.

Wow, I'm 38 too never considered myself ancient until I read this...If anything it makes me notice how young we still are and how much time we have to enjoy more of life. Wish I lived by so we could perhaps hangout. Having a hangout buddy makes life more bearable. Wishing that nice compatible friends come your way soon ;)

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i have drugs and therapy, and sometimes i still feel similarly to how you feel. i'm only 28 and i've had my relationships and all, and no kids, but i'm on disability while i have a stupid job at a gas station, wasting my college degree.

i only have one close friend and a few medium friends, but that's about it. no one is coming over to my place for a party, and i don't have people over ever. my best friend lives in another state (we went to college together).

i've found that if i want to have fun, i have to go find it. i find something i enjoy, in my case i have a goth girl alter ego and i like to go goth clubbing. so i go and have a great time. that doesn't mean you have to dress up in black and go out dancing, just find whatever you like to do and get involved.

fun won't come and find you, you have to find it.

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