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I don't have your problems, although I definitely have periods where I drink too much, but I have experience from friends.

It's not a matter of just deciding to stop. You need professional help. It doesn't have to be AA, just something. You seem to have realized you have a problem and that's really a big accomplishment, lots of alcoholics will deny and deny and deny their whole lives.

I wish I was more helpful, but you're not alone, and I know it's a hard road to go down, but it's possible. Seek professional help. What is available where you live?

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Yes I do feel sick the next day. I usually wake up about 3:00 am shaking all over like a mini siezure. I get up and take 2 mg of Klonopin and that helps. I know I need help but I can't do it. Is anyone in the same situation or am I really alone with this crap?

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Hi Reba,

I hope that you can reach the point of deciding you are willing to change.

Your symptoms sound like the DT's (delirium tremens). Very close to the edge medically. You very well may need to go thru a medically supervised detox. Stopping cold turkey at this point could be dangerous, and even beyond your willpower alone. Your pdoc or family physician should be able to help arrange it when you want it.

a.m.

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There are millions of people who are alcoholics, and know they are alcoholics, and yet do not want to quit drinking, no matter what harm they may bring to themselves, their spouses, or their children. Or innocent strangers on a highway.

Now that you know you're not alone... then what? Does it matter somehow? Are you looking for a kindred spirit to tell you that it's ok to conitnue to live in this hell because you like the buzz?

I'm not sure why you're asking the question about whether you are alone.

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Reba,

much as I want to be sympathetic, I'm not going to condone your drinking, anymore than I would condone someone looking for support for the heroin habit.

The forum rules:

Discuss addiction problems here. Booze? Weed? Gets you high, or brings you down? Talk to it with those who've been there. No 12 Stepping needed.Talk about how to quit, not continue. But if the feds come knocking on my door I'm going to give them what they are looking for because I can't afford a lawyer. If you want to talk about manufacturing or your plans to blow up the Corn Palace, do so at your own risk.

Now, what can we do to help you quit?

a.m.

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Reba

I can empathize very strongly with your predicament

I am a total and utter alcoholic and can understand what you are going through. I have been mainly sober since January but have had two evenings since then when I drank. One was to the point of inebriation and the other one I was slightly tipsy. Thankfully I don't seem to have the need anymore to drink every night. And I used to drink 3 litres of vodka a week - drunk every night. I thought I couldn't live without it.

Still whenever I drink I have a hard time controlling it, I want more more more until I blackout. It has been agreed with my mother (who sets all the rules in the house and is also a recovering alcoholic) that we will only drink on special occasions like Christmas and St Patricks Day and stick to low alcohol content drinks. I really feel like we can manage this. I have learnt how good life is without the booze - it made me psychotic and hallucinate and I got suicidally depressed. Even the two occasions when I have drunk since January - it brought back all the sadness and pain and made me feel psychotic again, I'm still recovering from my blow out the other week. But there is not a day that goes past when I don't feel bitter and angry at myself at not being able to have a normal relationship with alcohol. Already I am planning to smuggle in some vodka over Christmas to sneak into my drinks so I can get extra drunk. (after I just posted there that I felt I could manage sticking to low alcohol content drinks - I can in my hole!)

So if you ever want to bitch, share pain, discuss booze I'll be here for you on this forum or through PM

wishing you all the best

blackbird x

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Yes, I can relate. Booze makes me feel free and happy. I like being tipsy. I love rum. I've just been on a fourteen day bender and don't remember most of the time. My SO is upset with me and my drinking has caused a lot of pain between us, but I still crave it. I would like to learn moderation, because I know that I will likely never be able to give it up. I'm trying to get off the binge for my sweeties's sake, but in a lot of ways I don't want to quit.

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I'm glad to know I'm not alone. I waited several hours later then usual to have my first drink. I will run out of booze tonight and will try to do without for a couple of days and then just have a few. MODERATION. I'm not sure i can do it but I'm going to try. Usually with me it's all or nothing and my experience with booze is all.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've got to get to work so I'll make this fast and post more later. I'm not "alcoholic" but I am a problem drinker. I would like to second the link posted above...to Moderation Management. I belong to that group, and it's VERY helpful. Explore the options and see which one fits best for you. However, I agree with the others that is sounds like you're experiencing withdrawal, and withdrawing without medical attention from alcohol is dangerous....people DIE from the seizures and DTs. So if you are ready to quit, get yourself to your doctor.

I personally drink to quiet my mind...I have OCD and the alcohol I found worked nicely to numb my thoughts and my anxiety. I'll find the link later, but there is a website that discusses how alcohol use actually WORSENS anxiety and depression, because of the changes it causes in brain chemistry.

Ok, must go, feel free to contact me about moderation. I'm still learning myself and have along way to go. :-)

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It you're having trouble with drinking and wanna quit. Checkout www.unhooked.com www.secularsobriety.org www.rational.org www.smartrecovery.org/

Those are not like the AA cult religion, they're secular. Meaning they don't tell you that you have to believe that only god will save you from the "devil drink". AA will tell you only god can save you, you have a disease lol, you're powerless, they believe you made no decision on whether or not you were going to drink or not. The also tell you to "do the steps or die"

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I'm drinking as much as always . "Celebrating" the holidays. I really don't want to quit deep down in my soul. Every now and then I get a guilty feeling if I am really hung over and feel like a loser. Those are the times I am ashamed and vent on this board. Most of the time I am content to throw 'em back. End of story!

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I know the feeling. When all super hung over and shit, I tend to start feeling guilty and a complete bum loser. I don't drink that much anymore, well not during the week. On weekends I drink, sometimes I go to far and sit there and drink too much and blackout. But when that happens I start feeling like shit emotionally the next day.

I know how to quit, because I have done it before, for 3 years. If you want to quit, well quit. Don't drink. All those programs tell you to quit and they tend to mean on your own. AA different though, they're are just a weirdo cult that just wants you to be a member of their bs cult

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  • 1 month later...

hi reba,

you sound like me. i drank for about ten years. increasing amounts and increasing regularity until it was almost every single night. mostly to pass out before my thoughts could upset me. my gp diagnosed me with alcoholism. well, technically, with a dual diagnosis of major depression and alcoholism.

am i ashamed of being an alkie? god yes. on so many levels. but also, in some small way no. because my head is one fucked up place. i self-medicated with alcohol. self-medicated out the yin yang, mind you. but self-medicated nonetheless.

i'd be astounded if i HADN'T started drinking.

so, yeah. i can relate. it was hell on earth the next morning. the guilt. the depression. the self-hatred. the headache. yeah.

but now i don't drink. six months? something like that i guess. do i still want to? the rare time, yes. and it takes me by surprise now.

from my experience, nothing can make you stop except you. i never went to AA or anything like that. i just stopped one day. it was the day that my doc told me i was an alcoholic. i was really embarassed. but it wasn't the embarassment that did it. i really wanted there to be a day when i stopped. but you never know if it was that day until later, when you're still not drinking. does that make sense?

good luck. there's no magic, but you can stop.

grouse.

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