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After everything we've done, my niece is too fucking autistic to go to her regular school. They want to send her to the autie school.

Her SpEd teacher is going to fight the principal on this. I am too. For fucks sake, if it wasn't for her they wouldn't be getting all the funding next year to become an "autism hub" fucking school.

I want to scream!

I want to choke someone!

I don't know what I want to do,

but it isn't pretty!

Just where the fuck do they get off on deciding who is too autistic?

And just what the fuck is "too autistic"?

AAARRRGGGHHH!?!?!?!

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Damn Maddy!

I would raise a fuss too. I often suspected these kids are used as a tool to bring in dollars, but nobody actually wants to expend any energy DOING THE WORK to teach them.

Damn damn damn

(I am so glad your niece has you on her side)

And my son, who is low functioning (not a "pc" term, but the freaking truth) goes to a regular high school, but is in a special needs class. If he isn't "too autistic" to be in a regular public high school, how in the hell can your niece be "too autistic"???

Give em hell girl.

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I could also go on a rant about my kid's school's special ed program... but it isn't about autism so I won't. Suffice to say they should sit on their thumbs and spin.

If they didn't provide you with a booklet explaining your rights and legal procedures regarding special ed, ask for one. I'm pretty sure that all schools are required to provide this info. It should explain how to file a greivance. Also, try to get her pediatrician and/or tdoc on your side by providing documentation that they believe it would be to her advantage to remain in the regular school. Good luck.

Well, the therapist is in the process of writing a letter to fax to the school stating how damaging it could be and how far back it could send my niece to send her to another school. I've also contacted her pdoc and she will be writing a letter to fax in as well. I'll go over the little blue book later tonight. I'm exhausted. Two days in a row I've had to deal with the public and I have to do it all again tomorrow.

ICK.

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**cross-posted from my Springer thread, probably more appropriate here**

I know why I got so pissed at the thought of them sending her to the autie school.

1.) She's very high functioning. I don't think that it would be in her best interests nor would it help her to send her there. She's made great strides just this year alone.

2.) Her SpEd team and I have been out an enormous amount of time and energy fighting to get her the things she NEEDS to make the improvements that she's made so far. I know that's a selfish reason. But at least I admit it. She loves her SpEd teacher. She runs outside to tell her "BYE, BYE LADY, BYE BYE, BYE LADY!" everyday when she leaves the school.

3.) I've had to purchase her PECS materials to use in class. The school didn't have the budget to do so and my niece can't really function well without it. Again, with the selfishness. I feel horrible for it, but I just want what's best for her. I don't want her to miss an opportunity for advancement in a skill just because the school couldn't fork over the cash.

4.) It's change and all change is bad.

5.) What if the new school can't deal with her Bipolar? Sure, maybe they're great with Autism, but what about comorbid mood disorders? Would they even know the difference between a meltdown and a mood swing?

6.) It's far away. What if she needs me? I won't be right there. Anytime the school needs me, I'm a phone call away. BOOM, I'm there. What if she doesn't understand that? My niece doesn't have a grasp of time (FUCK I don't really have a grasp of time and I'm 33!) so she may not understand why I'm not right there for her.

Maybe I worry too much.But something about this just feels all wrong. I feel so selfish for wanting to keep her in the same school. I'm really starting to doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing for her. Or am I doing it for myself? Am I letting my own fear of change stand in the way of what is best for her?

I've really got to get things straightened out in my head and start thinking about this. Not just going with my gut reaction based on my past experience. I should really look into this and consider everything. I don't want to make any mistakes. I just want what's best for her. And sometimes even though I may have the best of intentions, I may not be that. I may be too close to this and I need to stand back and look at all of this differently.

I just don't know.

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Not just going with my gut reaction based on my past experience.

Maddy, this is what NT's refer to as 'intuition'. go with it. your past experiences are setting off warning bells for a reason. animals, including humans, are designed to take our sensory input and 'put it together' so we can learn to avoid bad situations.

if it were me, i'd go with the 'something about this just feels all wrong'

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what are special ed classes for, besides to teach kids with special needs? they're probably using her as a tool to bring in funding, so why are they trying to kick her out? i bet you do have a lot of rights in this situation.

my best friend has asperger's, and his brother is much lower-functioning. his brother got a certificate (not a dipolma, but a certificate) from a regular high school and was allowed to attend regular classes, as long as he was not disruptive. they had a special teacher there with him, assigned just to him, who sat with him and tried to help him through the material. he was graded at a much lower level than the other students for less work than the other students. he loved school, was proud to be with the other students, and did really well, considering his condition. from all accounts, he was well enough to stay in those classes and was not a disruption.

if she's higher-functioning, then what's the problem, especially with a special ed class? and why not a regular class, if she's up to it emotionally and mentally? my best friend has a college degree. there's nothing to say that anyone with autism can't be just as successful as anyone else. lots of people with autism are very smart and do well in educational settings. i think it is plain discrimination.

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She does have regular classes, but prefers doing her work with her SpEd team in the SpEd room. Basically, she gets overstimulated in her regular classes. At any time she can leave her regular classes and go to the SpEd room for any amount of time to do her work. She spends most of her day in the SpEd room by her choice.

We have EVERYTHING set up (finally) to where she can

get through her day with a minimal amount of stress. Everything from

writing on whiteboards, to PECS, to having her "quiet place", to

letting her go out and swing or spin before she has a meltdown, having

her eat lunch in her classroom instead of the lunchroom (THAT was a

major battle), passing a notebook back and forth between her teacher

and me so that we always know what's up everyday, pre-selecting what

she will eat for lunch the day before (the teacher sends me e-mail or

prints up the lunch menu for me so my niece can choose).

And that's not even the half of it. She goes to school 10 minutes

earlier and gets out 10 minutes earlier to avoid the stress of the

other kids bumping her. I pick her up at a different door. She's in

Gifted and Talented classes but she also gets tutoring for her

reading. Then there is the OT that comes in for the Sensory stuff.

I'm just exhausted.

I need a nap.

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hail sensory accomodations! if i could get away with those i would, but because i'm not autistic people would think i'm nuts (they'd be right, but i'm nuts in a different way).

that's great that she's so gifted and intelligent. i hope they take that into consideration when they consider sending her to an autie school. would she florish there? it sounds like they're being lazy about making accomodations and not looking out for her best interest. selfishness, not philanthrophy is at work here!

hopefully the letters and recommendations will hold sway and let her stay where she is. if she needs you, you need to be able to be there. that is an important accomodation for her. do they really understand this?

if she's bright and can do pretty much everything except be overstimulated, then why are they trying to pass her off? that isn't bright of them. they should be actually happy to have diversity in their school. they accept all kinds of diverse people, why not mentally interesting ones? everyone else gets fair treatment, why not her? i'd be pretty pissed about it too.

take care of yourself and avoid sensory overload for yourself too. heck, i'm NT and i get overloaded. i can only imagine what it is like for her.

loon

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Ok Maddy,

For the sake of argument, lets pretend you are just being hysterical and selfish. (You AREN'T, but go along with me for a second.)

Both the therapist AND the pdoc would not be sending letters saying it would be damaging to your niece if it wasn't true.

Plus, finally getting a routine your niece can work with and the TAKING IT AWAY is just freaking MEAN!!!

And the being only 10 minutes away. I think you BOTH need that. Hell, Ed & I can be at Max's school in less than 5. There have been times when one of us has had to go down there and calm Max down. It would not have been good for us or him to have us further away.

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Thanks for the reassurances. It's just that, given enough time, I start to doubt myself.

I start to doubt my motives and everything.

You're entitled to. But after the thirteenth time going over it and getting the same answers yourself,

and getting a second and third medical opinion that concurs with them - there's a high probability that

you are correct and the school administration is incorrect.

BTW, years ago, in a semirural KY school, one of my teachers decided that I would no longer spend

study hall time in the noisy "study hall" (school cafeteria, scores of middle-school kids) but in the library.

Your niece's accomodations (decades later, and in CA) aren't that much more intrusive to school routine,

so I really don't see them as sufficiently unreasonable to require a transfer.

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it sounds like she's doing (relatively) wonderfully at her school now. so, if you doubt your motives, switch it and just remember that it'll be better, less stressful, for her to just keep things the same.

people have given you a lot of technical help, unfortunately I don't know a lot about legal stuff or educational crap so I can't help there, but. I know you're in the right and I hope that the school sees that.

plus, just pretending that she really is "too autistic", why didn't they just kick her out at the beginning, or just not let her in in the first place? you can't get by with doing that in any section of the real world, just taking something, trying it out, and then dismissing it. that's completely ridiculous.

blah. good luck. <3

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