My "Boyfriend" Sucks!

[Loon-A-TiK]

i have this hpv removal surgery, LEEP, scheduled for today in about 2 hours.

my boyfriend and i have been planning on him taking me to it since i scheduled it over a month ago. he took the afternoon off for it even. this has been "set in stone".

i planned on drugging myself up with some klonopin so i wouldn't freak out when the gyn puts needles in my cervix for the numbing.

NOW he's saying his boss' boss wants a meeting with him and he won't be able to take me. HUH??!!! what about a COMMITMENT??? what about he already asked for the time off? what about "i have to take my girlfriend to a surgery, so can we have this meeting at another time? i have an important prior commitment"?

i can't believe he is doing this to me. as so many of you have pointed out in my springer thread, i deserve better. he is definately being considered for the chopping block right now. if he doesn't decide to take me to my surgery, at the very least, we're having a huge fight. and maybe i'll dump him. so he'd better decide to get his ass over here.

i don't even know how to get there! i printed off some directions from mapquest that confused me even more. the streets don't confuse me, but the highway part does. he knows where he's going. i'd have to leave like now if i wanted to get there in 2 hours for my surgery, and it is only 30 mins away if you know where you're going.

i just can't believe this shit.

he said he's going to "feel out" this guy to see if another time would be ok. i know this guy and he is so easy-going, of course another time would be alright, especially with an important prior commitment.

he thinks it's about money and that's why he wants to go so badly. i can't believe he can't reschedule, or that any kind of meeting today, now, at this time is more important than the plans- important plans- we've made for over a month.

as i've been saying again and again, i just can't believe this!!!!!!!!!!!

SO MY "BOYFRIEND" SUCKS MONKEY BALLS!!!

[Dee]

Good luck with the surgery Loon.

I thought you dumped the boyfriend already. Is this the same married jerk? We already decided he sucked, didn't we?

You will be fine hon. I had something similar done years ago.

XOXOX

[Loon-A-TiK]

dee-

yeah, the married one, and no, i decided to keep him around. why, i do not know.

it is already too late for him to leave work to take me to my surgery, so i guess i'm taking myself. i'm really happy they're only giving me locals and not putting me under any anasthesia, otherwise i'd be really fucked over.

his head will be on the chopping block. as i said, at the very least this is provoking a huge fight. he may get dumped. i'm so pissed off.

i don't know if it is safe to drive on the level of klonopin i want to take (a mg and not 1/2 an mg for me, that's what would make me take a nap).

edited to say- "then go by yourself. i have other commitments too".

i think i know what i have to do.

[Libby]

I was afraid he'd pull something like this, Loon. I'm so sorry that he did.

Can you get your Mom to take you?

Last resort, you could call a cab. Or reschedule the surgery. But, if you do that, have a backup pl;an for surgery. Don't count on the bf again.

in fact, I hope you dump his ass and his lies. You are too smart to put up with this.

[Loon-A-TiK]

he was saying that he thought he would get a raise and that's why he was staying for the meeting and not keeping his COMMITMENT to me to take me.

so i took myself. i handled it by myself, but having moral support would have been very nice. the injections hurt, but other than that it went well. it was more psychologically traumatizing (hence the need for moral support) than physically. physically i could mostly feel just pressure, like i was getting wisdom teeth removed or something, but not nearly as much.

i wrote to him asking if he got any such goodies from his boss' boss and told him that i feel that he treated me with disrespect and that i deserve better.

this is for sure the beginning, if not middle, of the end. i'm waiting to see what kind of "apology", if any, he tries to come up with.

it is perhaps time to be romance-free for awhile to just be alone. relationships are bothering me. no one seems to keep their word. maybe i'm just generalizing because of my last few relationships.

but my "boyfriend" sucks! he'd better come up with something good or his ass is grass. it should be grass already, i'm WAY too stupidly tolerant of his disrespectful behavior.

edited to say- no, he IS GOING TO BE DUMPED THE NEXT TIME I SEE HIM, OR MAYBE HE ONLY DESERVES AN EMAIL!!! my mom and nanna both agree on this, and because they've always been right on previous issues i'm going to go with their judgement on this one. he obviously doesn't have room in his life for me, and i don't have room for someone who doesn't fulfill promises to me, and who most likely lies to me.

[ka-mai]

Hey Loon, don't take this personally but...come on, you are involved with a married man who obviously can't even stay true to his own wife.

Aside from the bad karma you're generating by even allowing this relationship to go on, how can you expect him to be an honorable mate when he's already "double dipping" on a woman he's made solemn vows to?

Hate me if you want for saying it, but really, what good can realistically come from a situation like this?

I can somewhat appreciate your position, but overall, come on.

Sorry for the sarcasm, but as a man speaking from the other side, who almost fucked his own marriage over, please do the right thing and end it.

[december_brigette]

Hi Loon:

It sounds like the surgery was ok. I too always like to have someone with me at any type of "girlie" procedure.

This loser sucks in so many ways.

1. he obviously is not keeping his commitment to his wife

2. if he cant keep the wifey commitment, how can he be expected to keep any other commitments???

I think this is his absurd way of showing you that he is incapable of a good & decent relationship.

I say kick him to the curb, I'll lend you my doc martens.

love,

december

[Libby]

Loon, just email him. If you see him, he is going to get to you, and convince you not to dump him.

If you really WANT to dump him, do it by email, and be done with it.

he's a loser and a liar and an ass. And I agree with Ka Mai about the bad karma. This isn't a nice thing to do to his wife, who thinks she has a faithful husband.

[mitten]

Hey Loon. Hope the procedure went well and you are on the mend. I have made my opinion about your relationship with this guy and his marriage, unfaithfulness, betrayal, and generall shittyness known to you , so I won't say it again. A snake is always a snake, it can never be anything else and you can't wish it or want it or hope it into being a catterpillar because it IS A SNAKE. Put your feet up, pamper yourself, layoff the extra klonapin...the worst is over all the way around. It is time to start healing.

[Loon-A-TiK]

as i said in my relationships thread, he may suck, but i need to find it somewhere in me to do the "right thing".

he asks for my forgiveness and to believe in him, and tells me we'll "be together in the end".

well, what is the end? this mythical end? i don't see an end in sight. when i tell him this, he points out the short duration of our relationship and says he's not ready to leave for a relationship that hasn't developed fully. what, does he want me to invest fully when he won't?

i know that this would be a good time to cut the strings, because he did just do something really shitty and i'm a mad as a hornet over it. i've made my peace with him verbally, but that doesn't mean he dosen't suck or that i'm not seething over it.

he told me he sucks, and i think he sucks, but i had to play nice and tell him that he doesn't suck, but his actions suck. he said he deserves my yelling and screaming. i don't yell and scream at anyone (except if i totally lose it), i just quietly dump.

i feel uneasy having difficult talks with him, because all he does is asks me to believe in him, asks me why i'm with him if i don't believe in him (good question), and points out that we've only been seeing each other for a couple of months, compared to his marriage of 10 years.

i agree that i don't see any intention on his part to actually break his own ties and leave, and we've already established that he sucks, and that i shouldn't just agree to the rule that i can see whoever i want, but cut it totally.

[mitten]

Well, as my nana always said, actions speak louder than words. Sounds like he is a class A game player and the only way that you will win is if you stop playing! Other than that, expect more of the same shit. Prepare for the lies and betrayal and dissapoinment and remember, if he can screw around in his current committed relationship with his wife, even if he makes a commitment to you, it will be the same thing. He's the player and your the game..... It's your choice, your karma, just do yourself a favor and don't believe for a second that he will change. Like a said, a snake is a snake...always......good luck sweets because as long as he's around, you'll need it.

[Loon-A-TiK]

he's probably never going to commit the way i would commit, and if he does, i'd probably always wonder about him. i could see myself hiring a PI to sleuth him out!

as i've said elsewhere, what he says and does are opposite. he says he loves me and values me, but ditches me when i'm supposed to have surgery and doesn't come to see me as often as he should (maybe once a week if i'm lucky- or twice, if i've really struck gold).

before we became intimate we were friends, and saw each other several times a week. now i feel taken for granted and treated like garbage.

i already told him i forgive him for the surgery crap, even though i don't. why do i lie like this? just to get through a relationship that is probably way more one-sided than i even think it is?

actions do speak louder than words. if he loved me, nothing in the world would have stopped him from being there for my surgery.

he sucks, bottom line. i should move on and am stuck in sand mode.

[Loon-A-TiK]

so many of you have told me, wisely, that this relationship sucks, just like my boyfriend sucks. well, today he is proving (has proven) once again that he sucks.

we were supposed to go out last night. he emailed me that he wouldn't be out of work until 9, 4 hours past when he was supposed to leave, and that he'd go out with me tonight.

so at 5:15 he told me he'd email me in an hour (he's STILL at work), and this email has not materialized. it has been 2 hours now.

in the meantime, i finished a book about commitment-phobic people that was somewhat helpful and somewhat not.

i wrote him an email telling him we need to talk. this is going to be a heavy one, and i might dump him. wish me luck...

loon

[Loon-A-TiK]

i ended up calling him (through the switchboard, i don't know his extension) at work to see what was up, and he said he'd CALL me in 15 minutes. it ended up being more like 30, and he EMAILED me, with a very snotty email, saying that he felt like he was being ripped like a toy and couldn't be with anymore people today, and couldn't go out with me tonight.

so i waited all fucking night to hear that from him!

not again. this was the final straw. i told him that email isn't an appropriate forum to discuss this in, and that when he feels ready to deal with people and give me the respect and courtesy i deserve, then we can talk.

what dickwad behavior! i can't believe i was just treated like that. as dee suggested, i should write him a "dear john" email, since he's not courteous enough to bother to see me.

[Libby]

when he feels ready to deal with people and give me the respect and courtesy i deserve, then we can talk.

That will never happen, Loon. Not ever. You don't have the power to force him to change his ways. You do have the power to decide just how long you will allow him to scrape his boots off on you. Leaving him is the power you have. You can only control YOU and your own actions.

I know it's really hard, but I so hope that you are able to dump him and mean it. You will feel SO much better after it's done.

Repeat after me:

"I, Loon, deserve respect.

Therefore, you are kicked to the curb!"

[Guest You gotta get a life!]

Cut the cord sweetie! You have heard "there's more fish in the sea". he cares more about his JOB than he does about YOU.

[MiaB]

you're over a year too late with your post (the thread was started in 2006).. Loon has already moved on and gotten married.

[Caillech]

Speaking of Loon, whatever happened to her? I never see her around anymore.

[Steve@3AM]

Selene!

Bite your tongue!!!

NOS!

[Guest Hana]

Hello, anybody there? Need to talk to someone..The topic is 'my boyfriend sucks' right?

[Maddy]

Hello, anybody there? Need to talk to someone..The topic is 'my boyfriend sucks' right?

you might want to start a new thread since this one is pretty old.