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With her husband Will. He says nooo we have enough and that they are lucky they had their children young so when children leave the nest, they are still young enough to enjoy life and do alot of couple things...Watching them makes me feel like shit cause they have what I want and she had kids young and was able to find a husband to share life with. Why wasnt I chosen to have all of this as well.

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i feel you sensation. i'm 28 and have had one crappy relationship after another, always ending with me feeling used and jaded. i have yet to meet mr. right and have a happy family. i've even considered just finding someone attractive and fucking, so i'd get pregnant and be able to have a baby on my own. the only problem with that is that i'd be under gov assistance, and they'd make sure the dad would pay child support, and i wouldn't want to impose that on some poor guy i just wanted to get pregnant with.

i want to have a baby and a family, and i feel like i'm getting too old. maybe we're both destined this way.

but i have hopes that you'll be successful and have a child, if not finding mr. right. you don't have to let not having a dad hold up your plans to be a mother these days! i know a lot of women who have had babies and aren't married - and have no mr. right in sight. don't let lack of a marriage or man stop you. if i have to i'll go to a sperm bank so no one gets socked with child support he doesn't want, and that's always an option for you too.

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i feel you sensation. i'm 28 and have had one crappy relationship after another, always ending with me feeling used and jaded. i have yet to meet mr. right and have a happy family. i've even considered just finding someone attractive and fucking, so i'd get pregnant and be able to have a baby on my own. the only problem with that is that i'd be under gov assistance, and they'd make sure the dad would pay child support, and i wouldn't want to impose that on some poor guy i just wanted to get pregnant with.

i want to have a baby and a family, and i feel like i'm getting too old. maybe we're both destined this way.

but i have hopes that you'll be successful and have a child, if not finding mr. right. you don't have to let not having a dad hold up your plans to be a mother these days! i know a lot of women who have had babies and aren't married - and have no mr. right in sight. don't let lack of a marriage or man stop you. if i have to i'll go to a sperm bank so no one gets socked with child support he doesn't want, and that's always an option for you too.

I was planning on ordering sperm from the Cryobank for my birthday, but then someone reminded me about daycare and how much a month it would cost. Its about $500/mont isn't it? What about going thru the pregnancy alone and getting depressed? Who will hold my hand and be at the hospital during birth?When the baby gets sick I'm gonna have to take off from work alot and risk getting fired. I have no one to take a shift when the baby cries all night. All of that sounds very lonesome.

Anyway Will and Jada said they had the most beautiful time in London at Tom and katies wedding...

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that is a sad outlook sensation, but it is possible. i do know people who have done it/are doing it. the sick part is that famous people do it all the time because they have staff to take care of their children, while the rest of us have to struggle and miss work days and risk getting fired over childcare ;):cussing:

i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to have a child because of my ssdi situation. i don't know if they would increase my benefits due to having a child or not. if so, then i probably could because i could quit my lovely gas station job to be at home with my baby. the bad news would be if they wouldn't increase my benefits and i'd have to have my MOM watch the little one, always a bad idea with my mom! :)

i can't think of any other option, except if you do what december has done and find someone willing to be a dad. obviously, there are people out there who want to be dads. i don't know if you'd want to enter into parenthood with any of them, or if any of them would match up wtih you, but at least it worked for her, and it is hope that it could work for any of us.

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That would be great if I could meet someone that I don't end up arguing with at the end of each night. Men tend to be so overbearing and bossy....I dread being wheeled to the hospital main entrance after my maternity stay and sitting in the wheelchair with baby while the nurse calls my cab ;) . I just came from the bathroom and wondered why I don't have a strong handsome sane man to snuggle up with tonight. I always end up feeling like I am being punished and that its all my fault, I'm really guilty. And suprisingly the new med combo is working even though I feel this way. end of rant. moving on

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WHOA!!!!!!!

loon said:

i can't think of any other option, except if you do what december has done and find someone willing to be a dad. obviously, there are people out there who want to be dads. i don't know if you'd want to enter into parenthood with any of them, or if any of them would match up wtih you, but at least it worked for her, and it is hope that it could work for any of us.

I DID NOT look for someone to impregnate me.

I DID NOT look for a guy who I thought would be a good dad.

I DID NOT want to get pregnant.

correct - I was not using any birth control (i refuse to take 'the pill'). my mistake. and now I am learning to love my mistake.

I AM very scared of this pregnancy - because if i lose it, baby is stillborn, baby dies - I will kill myself. and Ive already made this promise to god. I cannot lose one more child. (to those that dont know - ive had 2 miscarriages).

loon, i am quite offended that you think I was looking for someone to "be a dad." as that is NOT the case.

Alex is very nice. and we are very good friends. we have sex and i got pregnant. we will still be friends. He is very supportive to me. I'll let him speak for himself regarding his thoughts on this issue.

thanks to this pregnancy - I'll have to continue living with my parents. im not counting on any extra money from anyone...so now im being forced to live with a budget. i suppose its time...its been more than a year since i have had a budget - mostly due to the fact that i did not have any income and had to borrow lots of money from parents & grandma.

completely disgusted,

december

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i can't think of any other option, except if you do what december has done and find someone willing to be a dad. obviously, there are people out there who want to be dads. i don't know if you'd want to enter into parenthood with any of them, or if any of them would match up wtih you, but at least it worked for her, and it is hope that it could work for any of us.

Geez, Loon, you make it sound like december was on the prowl for a person to be a dad and that she planned on getting pregnant. Not the case at all. She and Alex became close friends and they get along well together. That's it.

It's really not nice or appropriate to talk about someones situation as if you know all of the intimate details. If it were me that you were talking of, I would be a lot less nice than december was in her reply to you. Please be careful what you say about other people that are on the boards.

D

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********cross posting***********

i'm cross posting between sensation's thread and december's-

december-

i'm very sorry if i didn't know the details behind your pregnancy. please forgive me. i don't read all of your thread often enough to have caught that. i wrongfully assumed it was something you actively wanted. as you have said, this was not the case. again, i apologize for my mistake, and take back anything i said that offended you.

sincerely,

loon

**********

sensation-

sorry for thread-jacking. i just needed to let db know this.

i agree with SG- these rich and famous people can do it in their fantasy land, but real life is that there are jobs and bills.

the people i know who did it actually took out savings and 401k to do this. most of us don't have that kind of fall-back to draw from! i know i don't!

plan A"

i agree that finding ways to be happy and joyful in life will help you attract someone, and have that family you want. i'm still trying to get over losers to find my happy family ;)

Plan B

is it possible, and i know you just started, but can you climb the corporate ladder and get a raise? and sometimes people in higher positions can get away with more, but that obviously would come with seniority and time, two things you may or may not have time for. gosh, this is a hard one!

i hope you can get what you want. i know i have the same feelings of defeat sometimes, but we have to remember to look up and see the possibilities. famous people can have it all, but unfortunately for you and me, we're not driving limos and jet-setting all over the world for fun right now.

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I find that what helps me is to focus on the things that I do have in life, the things that have worked out for me. There is plenty for me to sit around and say that I didn't get and feel righteously angry about, but life can be unfair sometimes, sometimes we don't always get what we want by the deadline that we impose. You're far more likely to attract a husband type into your life if you can see the positives in your life instead of letting the negatives turn you into a bitter person.

I know all of this is true. Just wish people would stop throwing their lifestyles up into my face everywhere I turn. Families, families gets the center of attention everywhere. Never anthing positive devoted to singles, only references to finding a mate online or overcoming loneliness. Families are always portrayed as the better of the two and singles are supposed to sad and pitiful. I love your advice karuna.

********cross posting***********

i'm cross posting between sensation's thread and december's-

december-

i'm very sorry if i didn't know the details behind your pregnancy. please forgive me. i don't read all of your thread often enough to have caught that. i wrongfully assumed it was something you actively wanted. as you have said, this was not the case. again, i apologize for my mistake, and take back anything i said that offended you.

sincerely,

loon

**********

sensation-

sorry for thread-jacking. i just needed to let db know this.

i agree with SG- these rich and famous people can do it in their fantasy land, but real life is that there are jobs and bills.

the people i know who did it actually took out savings and 401k to do this. most of us don't have that kind of fall-back to draw from! i know i don't!

plan A"

i agree that finding ways to be happy and joyful in life will help you attract someone, and have that family you want. i'm still trying to get over losers to find my happy family ;)

Plan B

is it possible, and i know you just started, but can you climb the corporate ladder and get a raise? and sometimes people in higher positions can get away with more, but that obviously would come with seniority and time, two things you may or may not have time for. gosh, this is a hard one!

i hope you can get what you want. i know i have the same feelings of defeat sometimes, but we have to remember to look up and see the possibilities. famous people can have it all, but unfortunately for you and me, we're not driving limos and jet-setting all over the world for fun right now.

How long would it take for me to climb the ladder? I already make considerably less than most people my age or with my degrees. If you were 38 and had the same issues you have now, honestly how would you feel Loon?

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that does limit your prospects of having biological children. but what about fostering or adoption? those are still open possibilities. you could always foster or adopt a child who doesn't need daycare or to be watched all the time, one who is mature enough to stay home a little while until you get home from work. i fostered my sibs and it was a good experience. i would foster or adopt if given the chance. there are a lot of kids, especially older ones, who need homes and can't find them because they're older and not babies. if you'd be willing to give that a go, you may be able to have your family experience in a non-traditional way.

or, you never know, you may meet mr. right today!

i'm just trying to think of all the ways you could make your dream come true, considering what you have to work with.

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sensation-Its hard enough to raise a child with two parents let alone one.( i applaud the hard work these parents do) You probably realize that using jada and will as role models doesn't really make much sense. in terms of raising children they have the resources for help by way of nannies, baby sitters, private daycare and school) btw- i worked in a daycare and for a full time infant it cost $1200 per month, and that was almost 10 years ago.

remind yourself that it is the depression speaking that makes you feel so bad by comparisson. alot can change over a few years. i never thought anyone would love me- and i held on to that thought and i know it just kept feeding the depression. i was was in and out of hospitals so much for years and thought there was no chance. well i had to wait my turn because at 40 i married a wonderful man! there is always some little tiny glimmer of hope out there if you can look really hard. there is a future for you and think about all the celebrities who look so happy and the next day are divorcing- appearances can be decieving and everyone has their issues ( even jada and will)

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