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Dangerous compulsions


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Hello, I suffer from OCD and tourettes amongst other things like depression.  All of my complulsions - whether it is an OCD symptom or a tourettes symptom, are dangerous.

I have a need to look directly into the sun, until it "feels right".  I will catch a glimpse in my eye, and will have to look into it directly to feel right.  I have to catch just the right amount of pain before I can stop doing this.  The fact that I can damage my eyes just makes the compulsion worse.

I have no long term damage due to this thankfully.

My "complex tics", whilst classed as tourettes, are really just forms of OCD as well.  When I learned that it was extremely painful to dislocate a shoulder, I developed a "tic" where by I would twist my shoulder around as far as it would go.  I would grind it, I would stretch it outward and let it impact on something solid.  I have torn muscles doing this, and did acutally dislocate it (though thankfully it popped straight back in and I was just left with some minor ligament damage).

I also have an urge to tear ligaments in my neck because I know that it would be dangerous.

If I had a self destruct botton somewhere on my body I would have the urge to press it.

The funny thing is that I DO NOT WANT TO HARM MY SELF.  I just wasnt to feel normal.

Does anyone else share in these experiences?

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Once upon a time, someone told me that magnets could destroy TVs and computers. After hearing that, I had this nigh uncontrollable urge to hold magnets up to computers and the television. I finally caved in the middle of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, which did interesting things to the colors on the part of the set I touched. I remember mom was there, and there was crying followed by a period of feeling that something had been released.

And that was before we discovered that that level of damage could be remedied by simply turning the set off and back on.

I haven't had that one since then.

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Once upon a time, someone told me that magnets could destroy TVs and computers. After hearing that, I had this nigh uncontrollable urge to hold magnets up to computers and the television. I finally caved in the middle of a Tom and Jerry cartoon, which did interesting things to the colors on the part of the set I touched. I remember mom was there, and there was crying followed by a period of feeling that something had been released.

And that was before we discovered that that level of damage could be remedied by simply turning the set off and back on.

I haven't had that one since then.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is EXACTLY the type of thing that I'm referring to.  Ha! 

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  • 3 weeks later...

My cutting is definitely tied into my OCD.  I have to cut until it feels right or I have felt the right amount of pain.  I also feel the need to if someone does something that feels wrong to me (like running their fingernails up and down their arm) if I see it I have the the urge to injure myself until it goes out of my mind.

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