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So tis the season to wet the head of little baby Jesus. Over this past year I have been by and large sober - just one slip one evening with my sister and a sanctioned drinking session for my graduation celebrations (i.e. I had permission from my mother to drink wine coolers).

It has been pretty easy to stop drinking, I don't miss it much, I am enjoying mental stability - alcohol made me suicidally depressed (last Christmas I took 3 overdoses after getting drunk) and makes me hallucinate and hear voices. But tis the season to be jolly! Everyone else around me will be getting rat-arsed and I want to spoil myself and have a drink. I think I can manage having a couple of drinks over Christmas then going back to sobriety long term again in the New Year. I think I have finally kicked the urge to drink every day, alcohol is no longer my crutch and I have learned to deal with my problems in a more constructive manner. After Christmas, the next drink would be at St Patricks Day.

My mother is allowing me to have some wine and wine coolers at Christmas, but already I am planning to smuggle in a bottle of vodka to add extra kick to the wine coolers. This is a slippery slope and when I do try controlled drinking I can't leave it at one or two, I want to get blotto, but at the same time it isn't leading into desire to drink all the time. I'm rambling a bit but my point is, can't I allow myself a celebration with booze over Christmas? Can't I just have a break for once without having to get permission from my mother and everyone else for a couple of measly wine coolers? (Incidentally my mother is a recovering alcoholic who plans to have a couple glasses of wine over Christmas - wine doesn't have any effect on her). I will be able to go back to sobriety and keep my drinking for special occasions. The general consensus about alcoholism, especially severe alcoholism like mine is that total abstinence is the ultimate goal. Can I break the mould and keep it to special occasions? I really feel like I can, or am I just trying to justify drinking to myself. Is it the slippery slope back to falling off the wagon big time?

I don't really know what my point is

Anyone else facing any alcohol woes coming up to the holiday season?

blackbird x

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from what i've read on the subject (not from any personal experience), there are 2 schools of thought in dealing with alcohol intake after sobriety. on one hand you have the total abstinence people, who say that you can never have a drink again. on the other, you have people who say you can drink, in moderation, like a normal person if you can handle it and not return to alcoholism.

i'd guess that if you're drinking in moderation during the holidays, that wouldn't be a problem. however, with your meds it may be. especially since i read in your last post that you are playing around with your meds. is it safe to drink?

my pdoc told me i can have no more than 2 per sitting, and keep it very minimal. you should ask your pdoc what kind of limits you should have, considering the meds you're on. and, as you fully know, playing around with your meds is dangerous. have a talk with your pdoc about the alcohol and playing with your meds, and with your tdoc about why you do these things.

loon

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The general consensus about alcoholism, especially severe alcoholism like mine is that total abstinence is the ultimate goal. Can I break the mould and keep it to special occasions? I really feel like I can, or am I just trying to justify drinking to myself. Is it the slippery slope back to falling off the wagon big time?

*I* think the goal should be total abstinence. It's very easy to fall back into old habits. I have an alcoholic friend who thinks it's ok to drink on special occasions, and it always ends up with a drinking binge (like the time he had a seizure from drinking too much).

You're already talking about smuggling in vodka. That's a warning sign.

I will be able to go back to sobriety and keep my drinking for special occasions.

I'm not so sure about that.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I know if I start to drink I wont be content until the bottles are empty, which will inevitably result in a snow ball of wanting to overdose or cut etc ....... so it is a lot safer that I don't have drink in the house.

Sweetie becareful as one drink will turn to two to three and so on.

x

I do however have no plans at all for Christmas Day itself so will probably get mashed on benzo's!! >..<

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For me it IS a very slippery slope. I want to have alcohol for Christmas so very bad, but I know that if I start drinking, I will not stop until all of the booze is gone and then I will fiend for more. I want self control and the ability to sip a bit of C'pn Morgans or a bit of Brandy or what ever is offered. I don't want to be blootered for Christmas again. But I really miss having a drink with my sweetie

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