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Heej guys,

Here's the guy in crappy English again. The day before yesterday it whas just too much. Could not take it anymore. So major fucking depressed. I did not want to end my life, but wanted to END this extreme situation: agitation, anxiety, paranoia, depression. Thought by my self: what the fuck and toke 30 efexor 150mg's. There I was lying on the ground. Decited to go to the doc after all and whas brought per ambulance to the hospital. Pumped my stomach empty and I ended on the intensive care for about 24 hrs.

Now I'm home again and stoned on the Xanax. My parents girlfriend etc. everyone stressed out. Its just fucked. Talked to a pdoc in the hospital. I'm not realy su

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Glad you're here to post Tony!

and thanks for sharing your survival story

do you have a plan

maybe

that you could share with those of us

who also sometimes think

<insert bad thoughts here... just want it all to STOP>

would you feel comfortable enough

to call a doctor

and ask for an emergency visit or different pill?

Best of luck to you

and I hope out of all of this

you see there are many loved ones

who n e e d to have you around

peace !

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Your English does not matter, your life does. I did that too and am still here because I got help when I needed it. Most of us are hurt in someway and try to help each other. I'm glad you are still here. We can get to know you and offer help now.

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many of us have been where you are. the feelings that drive you to commit suicide are the rock bottom, and things only get brighter from there.

i'm very surprised they let you out of the hospital so soon. if it were me, i'd be kept in the loony bin for at least 3 days, if not longer, for such an act! i think here people don't want to get sued or something.

please don't worry about your english. i speak german and if i was writing on a german forum, i'd have mistakes too, and far worse than yours! you're really good, so don't worry about it. ;)

one less thing to worry about and apologize about- because here we're not judging you on that-

i'm so sorry that you're in the place you're in right now emotionally. is there anything your pdoc can do right now to help you through right now? being stoned on xanax is also not the answer. if you feel that you will hurt yourself, then go to the hospital, and don't be afraid to do so. that's why they're there.

we're all here to listen and support. please post when you need to-

loon

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to start- your english is excellent! i'm so sorry you had to go through such an awful experience. maybe the xanax will help you stay calm so you don't get back to that overwhelmed place of wanting to harm yourself again.

if you feel unsafe call pdoc or go right to the er.

i'm glad you are here talking about it all- its hard to talk about but not as hard as having your stomach pumped.

i hope things settle down for you and you can have some time to rest, adjust your meds and talk to anyone you can- including talking to us here.

take good care of yourself and keep us posted on how you are doing.

mrs l

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Thank you so much for the support guys... I'm doing quite a bit better now, but i am always scared for the day of tomorrow. You know; in the evenings i'm always doing better. Can relativate things better and i'm much more calm.

But in the morning the feeling is just horrible. I feel sick like a dog. Depression is not only a state of mind, but it seems also to effect your body. Just like a terrible flue. Everything hurts to the bone.You try to snap out of it but you just can't.

You can believe it or not but i use to do sports. Play sometimes a game of rugby and do resistance training. Well, not anymore. Lost interrest and my body won't work.

Depression is hell, your sick, cold and everything is dark. I did also do some talking to my neighbour (she is a pdoc) and she said it can take to 4 sometimes 6 weeks before the meds begin to work.

Well, thanks again guys...

Tony

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Hey, Tony,

I'm so sorry things are so bad for you right now. Sometimes an act of desperation is the only way we feel we have to communicate how utterly awful we feel. But, jeez man, please don't do that again. Call someone. Scream if you have to.

I hope the xanax keeps things tolerable while the meds take their time to work. Talk to your doc if the xanax isn't doing its job. There are lots of options.

But in the morning the feeling is just horrible. I feel sick like a dog. Depression is not only a state of mind, but it seems also to effect your body. Just like a terrible flue. Everything hurts to the bone.You try to snap out of it but you just can't.

That's it exactly. I know the feeling and wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Remember, even if it feels like a lie sometimes, it does get better. You can get through this.

Greeny

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Thank you so much for the support guys... I'm doing quite a bit better now, but i am always scared for the day of tomorrow. You know; in the evenings i'm always doing better. Can relativate things better and i'm much more calm.

But in the morning the feeling is just horrible. I feel sick like a dog. Depression is not only a state of mind, but it seems also to effect your body. Just like a terrible flue. Everything hurts to the bone.You try to snap out of it but you just can't.

Me too and I think this is common with bipolar (not sure if you are) and some types depression. It's amazing how life can at least be somewhat tolerable at night, it seems like things are going a little better and then every single morning it's like Groundhog Day, sick and wanting to die.

You can believe it or not but i use to do sports. Play sometimes a game of rugby and do resistance training. Well, not anymore. Lost interrest and my body won't work.

I used to be into powerlifting. I'm blessed that I have equipment in my basement. I make myself do about 10 min. of lifting weights and 15-25 min. of walking slow on the treadmill 4x a week. I used to love exercising but now I have to make myself do it. If you could just make yourself do some pushups, chinups and walking that would be great. But I understand how difficult it is and how depression affects some of us so much physically.

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Oh Tony I`m so glad that your stomach was pumped in time. It is truly awful having to watch a body in the emergency room struggling on life support (the body fights to live). The med people use drugs and eventually get the body to relax

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I used to be into powerlifting. I'm blessed that I have equipment in my basement. I make myself do about 10 min. of lifting weights and 15-25 min. of walking slow on the treadmill 4x a week. I used to love exercising but now I have to make myself do it. If you could just make yourself do some pushups, chinups and walking that would be great. But I understand how difficult it is and how depression affects some of us so much physically.

Wooow powerlifting. I always loved the deadlift: that was my favorite.... I've been to the gym today and did some exercize (tried to do some squats). Didn't do it quite well, but i came out of the house and did meet some people. The strenght is out of my body, but hopefully it comes back again.

Tomorrow i'll go to my pdoc again and maybe he will give me some more rx (the dose Lexapro i'm on is very low).

Now that the people know in what kind of state i am in, they are very understanding. But i am afraid that this is only for a couple of weeks. After that they might say: "Come on, do your thing. You have got had some time to rest, you can not always stay depressive...." Thats where i'm anxious about. ....

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