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The shard of broken dreams

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I've been feeling the one coming for days, I can always feel when someone is going to come out any more. Except for the nameless little-littles that are just a milling and confusing mass of coming and going wee ones. I don't try to keep track any more as most of them are too little to converse much. Today arrived Deena/Devi. I am not sure if they are the same person of co-shards or different people. They are both teens from during the time that I ran with the theatre crowd and tried to get into acting and such. We did a lot of radio commercials and voice overs at that time and were pretty successful. The harder we tried the more we ended up in nasty situations with some bastard coercing us into sex ( why is it that so much of my life ends up with some git shagging us against our will?) The end came really when my managers husband decided that he had to "have" me and chased me around very obviously and with sweaty single-mindedness ( I was cute in those days)

I/we remember going to some kind of AFTRA (American federation of radio and television artists) holiday party

And was cornered by this geek and roughed up and mauled. Dena/Devi arrived today sobbing and talking incoherently. Both of my tdocs are telling me that I'm doing the best that I can. Getting flashbacks and memories of that time in my life and my love of theatre and dance. Dealing with 2? new comers and my lost dreams.

Took Trazadone, going to crash again

Hugs all and thanks for listening

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geez. why do guys have to be such jerks? what, like no female can exist without wanting to be pawed over by them?? we've had that a LOT all our lives too, and i think a lot of females have. i don't know why so many males just have no clue how to behave themselves.

if deena/devi aren't reading this, pass along our condolences. guys can be such asswipes.

absynthe and abigail

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