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Ones You've Loved And Lost


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ah, i could write a book on these-

my ex husband, who i left during a mania when he was in a depression, i regret leaving him. he was so forgiving, gentle, and kind to me, and i totally blew it because i couldn't tough out his depression (well, it did last a year and he didn't get out of bed or go to the pdoc). still, i regret that i left. maybe what i really regret is having had to leave. i'm sorry my marriage ended.

mr. california- we had a great relationship here in ohio, where we're both from, for a year. he was talking about living together and possible marriage, even possible children. he had previously ruled out children, but was considering them with me.

then he decided to move to california to work for his brother-in-law and make more money than he was making here. so he moved. he talked about me moving there with him, once the dust settled.

so i was ready to move out there.

then he moved up to the mountains, and got a different opportunity there. he let me know that he would be too busy and too distracted to be a good partner, and that he wanted the opportunity to be single and free. he dumped me! after all that, after i was ready to move out there to be with him, he dumped me, and for no apparent good reason. what did i do, besides be supportive?

*********

so of all the relationships i've had, those 2 are the ones i regret having lost, one by my own doing and another just out of the blue by his doing.

what about you? any love-lorn CBers out there with broken hearts and haunting memories?

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Yes Loon even crazy old men have this. I sincerely regret divorcing my wife of 33+ years during a major BPII episode. Then falling deeply in love with a woman that ripped my heart out. So here I am a tortured soul waiting for the end. I know that I will NEVER have the level of love/passion that I had. I am so tired of dating, the games everyone wants to play.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Yes,here

goes

Stasis,

off topic,maybe

in reverse.

It was this week

last year,that

I

Bailed out

of my nearly 25 year marriage.

It was purely my choice,

saying I was

real crazy,

doesn't cut it.

I look back,

the early years were

very good,

but I was begining

to slip down

get too high,

make crappy decisions.

Like letting our car

get repo'd

while keeping

my motorcycle,

My son was less than

one year old,

I stuffed him down

inside my leather

and off I went.

hows that for

off-topic

and that was the short version

pulling toga over head,

Stasis

Would I go back?

No.

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I sincerely regret leaving my partner of 5 years for all the wrong reasons. He put up with my total insanity, alchololism, drug abuse, and manic sex binges. I left him for a truely wonderful man, we fell deeply in love (or at least I did) then he found out how crazy I was when I'm manic and sent me packing. I did so much damage to the guy I left that he won't even talk to me now ;)

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Sigh, there's that one guy. We saw each other 6 years ago then I stopped seeing him when I met the guy I was w/ for 5 years who committed suicide this past June. Lately we have just been friends....with benefits even though he has been dating this girl for 6 months. So, the other day he sends me a message on myspace describing how we "melt together" even after not seeing each other for 5 years.....wtf...let me get over it already. He doesn't have to remind me how deep my feelings are for him. dang!

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