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Falling in love

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Although it's a pretty new relationship, I think I've fallen in love with this guy I've started dating. We come from very similar backgrounds and he seems to "get" me. We have incredible chemistry.

But...it's simply terrifying to really like someone. I am one of those people who tends to put all of my eggs into one basket, so to speak. If I like someone, they become a huge part of my life, but then I feel sort of empty when they aren't around. I know this isn't the healthiest, but this is the way that I am. It's so scary to love because being in love means that you can experience loss, too.

It is stressful for me to date him too because I don't feel very successful and he is very successful. I know I should be happy about this. I am happy for him, but for me, it makes me feel bad about what I haven't accomplished and it reminds me about the things I've missed having in my life because I cannot afford them. I'm so scared to rely on man for anything...it's really hard as I never had a father figure in my life.

As my therapist says, I have a very difficult time dealing with success. It's very hard for me to enjoy what I have without worrying about losing it, and it's the same way with relationships.

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I totally feel the same way about falling in love.

It is scary.

Because yes while it is fabulous and exhilirating and wonderful, that honeymoon period is not permanent.

And jumping into a romantic relationship with one's whole heart seems to be also setting oneself up for major, major pain.

And loss is very difficult...even more so for us that experience intense moods.

BUT, one thing I've been trying to implement...as I'm sort of dipping my toe in the dating pool again...

Is that if I open my heart to someone and my heart gets broken...then that was a lesson I needed to learn. Trying to remember that people are put in our path to teach us things...

But it is hard. I'm totally resisting it still.

Keep us posted.

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if you understand and "get" each other, i think you're on your way to a good relationship.

obviously, the main problem being that you do put all your eggs in one basket. that's alright to do, but usually after awhile into the relationship. i'm probably even more guilty than you are of doing this. i drive my family and friends crazy with my latest love interest!

another issue is your fear of success. are you afraid of success in this relationship? how far does the fear of success extend? are you afraid of commitment and thus fear of success in the relationship? you may want it to work out, but you're already finding reasons as to why you feel uncomfortable with him. and- it is because he is successful!

take time to explore just where your fear of success extends. do you feel unworthy of him because he is successful?

i think these are just the kinds of questions you should ask yourself about your new relationship.

i hope everything works out and he is the prince charming you dream of him being-


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