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Why mess with a good thing?

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So my doc finaly got me smoothed out on a coctail combo that worked well and for a brief period there was some normalcy in my life. I was happy and incredibly greatful to him. Guess what? He changed things. Wanted me to titrate on one med first and then to taper down another. I asked him if he was sure that this was going to work and he said yeah yeah. Now if it was another doctor I would have been upset, but I like this one and I reasoned that it is a great idea because I don't like to support Big pharma giants and would rather take more of generic drug approach. Well if you know me then you know I did the reverse of what I was instructed. Did the taper first. I am always wanting to push and see what I can get away by taking less rather than more. There is the impossible problem that when I am well I forget how bad things can get and when I am not well then it is hard to ever remember being better. Now I'm thinking I always going to be sick forever. And things are so bad. Damn Damn Damn Here I go again. I am so stupid. :embarassed:

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