Jump to content

I don't have fun, OK?


lemonflavor

Recommended Posts

My mom and step dad will be staying in our house for two nights. She wants to go out to eat twice, once with step dad's kids and go shopping and keeps saying "won't that be fun?" well no i don't really have fun at this point in my life, especially being with others. Anhedonia stinks.

I feel guilty because my mom really does love me and wants to be with me but she's trying to make me feel better and thinks doing things will be fun when they are very stressful for me. I tried to explain through email but it just doesn't work. Very frustrating. I know a lot of you understand.

I don't know if I should just suck it up, try to explain and be totally open or something inbetween.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If sucking it up for their sake will just make things worse for you, then let them know.

I tried explaining alot of this to my parents, but I always got brushed off. Don't know how your mom and step-dad are. My parents always thought "getting me out of the house and around people" would make me "feel better".

What part of AGORAPHOBIA did they NOT understand?!?!?!

DUH?!?!?

Oh well, it's kind of funny now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my mom is annoyingly like that too. she thinks i must want to go out to every store on the planet, and do all these crafts with her. uh no, that isn't fun, just leave me alone! i have the worst desire to just throw a fit when i'm in a crowded store. the desire is so strong, sometimes i'm just biting my lip and trying to contain my frustration. there are only so many times someone can ram me with their cart before i explode.

then she asks me why i'm depressed. there is no reason- it is a medical condition. try explaining that. she's bp1 and in constant denial- she should understand, but fails in that regard.

she's usually on the upside though and tries to drag me everywhere. i humor her to a point, but after that i always tell her i'm too tired to do any more, i've had it for now. i have disability so it is easy to blame my fatigue on something mental health related, even if it is just hatred of crowds in stores. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

I think this is sorta like that "Elmyra" model of parent/child love I proposed earlier on here.

I'M GONNA LOVE YOU AND HOLD YOU AND CUDDLE YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU AND HOLD YOU UNTIL YOU DIE!!!!

I have a lot of friends I didn't get to see up North this time around, so I'm obligated to go back up between now and grad school, preferably during a time where the roads aren't covered in an inch of ice. Planning to be in Ohio most of the time, and just in Indiana (where my parents live) for a couple of days to round up friends there and then head out for grad school (which will likely be in Atlanta, fingers, toes, and eyes crossed).

It was bad enough this time in Indiana that all three of us (Mom, Dad, and I) were glad I was leaving.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this is why i ground my family from visiting when they misbehave.

i write them and tell them what they did wrong and how long they are grounded for and then we try again.

it works wonders.

it makes my parents realize i am quite serious about my boundaries and that i am quite serious about the fact that i'd rather have no contact than the stress.

once they understand what is on the line, they are more willing to behave according to my wishes.

abi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's probably not practical with most parents for the kid to attempt to force a unilateral relationship by frequent post-visit lectures informing the parents on what was inappropriate about their visit. Unless they are comfortable with the possibility of ending the relationship permanently, or, more likely, creating a great deal of friction and anger, which is probably what they were looking to end.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's probably not practical with most parents for the kid to attempt to force a unilateral relationship by frequent post-visit lectures informing the parents on what was inappropriate about their visit. Unless they are comfortable with the possibility of ending the relationship permanently, or, more likely, creating a great deal of friction and anger, which is probably what they were looking to end.

really? i would think it would be practical, but i don't understand healthy family relationships whatsoever. so it is probably a really good thing for you to point out the negatives of such an action. i'm only aware of how much it improved my relations with my parents.

and i was perfectly willing to permanently cut off contact if need be. i was setting MY rules. my way or go away. it wasn't as strict as that makes it sound. no comments about how fat i am, no hitting on me, no inappropriate behaviors that make me uncomfortable...

abi

Link to comment
Share on other sites

...and this is exactly why essentially nobody is invited to my apartment.

my uncle, since he made fun of it for being messy during one of my psiMS attacks in March... my parents, for obvious reasons. If any of the aforementioned three thought my apartment was messy back then, they should see it now, after I turned it upside down and right side up several times looking for a cell phone that wasn't even there.

this town's not exactly full of people my age (most here get married straight out of high school, regardless of whether they're going to college), so I don't really have a friend to invite over.

on the other hand, this is good, I can keep the place as cluttered as I want it to be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...