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Not diagnosed . . . . . .


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When I was younger I used to go through phases of using laxitives and then making myself sick shortly after eating something and I thought I was over these phases but the problem is I also find that making myself sick when I feel ill and can't be sick helpful as it makes me feel better.

Now to now.

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I have just been taken off all medication and am waiting to hear about the next time my psych is coming to see me to review my medication.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May I ask why?

StrungOutOnLife

*who will not have access to a computer from 8:30 AM to about 10:20 AM*

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I'm scared of being put back on meds  ;) coz meds always seem to make me worse.  I have been on loads and I am yet to find anything that has worked.  I haven't seen my CPN for a while and my Psych says I will get a letter soon about my next appt with him.

I thought I was over it coz I ain't done it for years.  So far I have managed not to do it but I don't know how much longer I can resist temptation as my body image is very unstable (I hope tht makes sense - I know what I mean tho).  I have never ever really been confident when it comes to my body always wanting to change something about it.

I'm rambling - I'll stop.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel disappointed with myself today coz I had a bad night last night but no obvious reason why I should have which makes it even more annoying. Not only did I sh last night but I ended up purging too. I couldn't stop myself last night coz I felt full to the gunnels and was very uncomfortable so I gave in :s

So far today I haven't eaten (5pm) because if I do the temptation to start again today will just be there and I don't really want to do it again but I can't be sure tht I am strong enough to resist

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I have just been taken off all medication and am waiting to hear about the next time my psych is coming to see me to review my medication.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You were told to stop right away, no tapering off? 

I'm guessing (and guessing only) that the urge to use an old, reliable method of coping, even if it's not healthy, is a way for you do deal with stress and uncertainty, and give you a feeling of control in your life. 

And your psych comes to see you... is there any way to contact that person to come by sooner?   

Is there an anonymous hotline you can call if you feel the compulsion again?  The Samaritans is a worldwide organization, for example, with free 24-hour volunteers who are at the phones to just listen to you.  It appears that you don't want to tell people who know you what is going on, so maybe an anonymous call to someone like the Samaritans could be beneficial. 

Just a suggestion.

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I was weened off my meds over a period of 4 wks and am yet to see psych or cpn since tht was done.

I started doing this when I was about 18 and did it for about a year and haven't done it again til about a couple wks ago and have had lots of stressful times between then and now including the death of my boyfriend 20 months ago yet I only go back to doing it now

I think what could've triggered it was I wasn't feeling tht great the other week - u know feeling sick but unable to be sick (which is nearly all the time with me) and I was just tht down tht I decided to make myself sick in order to feel better and be done with it but it just started it all back up again  ;)   :)

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I saw psych on wednesday and he is happy for me to remain off medication and because of the fact he only dealt with my meds he no longer needs to see me. You can tell I ain't told him about the possibility of me having an eating disorder eh? I would've been straight back on meds if I had  ;)

I ended up purging again last night and I have lost near enough half a stone since I started again not u can tell especially when ppl didn't even notice when I lost 2 and a half stones when i was 18.

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