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Back before I was diagnosed, I had a manic episode where I didn't sleep and I drank heavily. I swung a vaccuum cleaner at my husband and threw a glass at him. He says from that day on, his feelings for me have changed and he's no longer in love with me. BTW, the episode was almost 4 years ago.

Is this fair? I had an undiagnosed, untreated mental illness. I feel like I am being punished for something I couldn't help.

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Can you say "handy excuse" for his bad behavior? Come on-- like he's never done anything that was the least bit weird/odd/crazy???

Yeah, as long as you cave in when he brings it up, he will use it till you die--sorry. When he finds that it no longer will produce the effect he wants, that will be the last you hear of flying Eurekas. (Wish I had seen that, tho--much better than me hammering the smoke detector to death)

love, china

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Hammering a smoke detector? Now that's a pretty funny visual. Glad I'm not the only crazy one.

I used to also just disappear for hours at a time, not letting him know where I was going. I just needed to feel the air on my skin!!!

Looking back, I am sorry for the things I did back then, but I have forgiven myself. I guess that is the important part. I truly couldn't help it back then. Thank goodness for psychotropic drugs!

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So what is your excuse now? You have a dx and you still attack each other. His feelings for you have not changed completely or he would not be in the house with you at all. Oh yeah, you say he wants a divorce. If he really disliked you he would have been out of there already regardless of all else. He does not like your behavior just like you dislike his, but you both put up with each other. So he is busy being sexual elsewhere. You can't have everything. You want him to be loving with you and hitting you in the head at the same time? This is a very odd desire.

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as long as you've forgiven yourself, that's what counts. his bs and lies are just that, bs and lies. he can delude himself if he chooses into believing that is why is allegedly fell out of love with you, but it wasn't that, it couldn't have been that. true love is stronger than flying vacuum cleaners and drinking. so is understanding of a major mental illness. they rate BP up there wthi schizophrenia as one of the most major mental illnesses, and for a reason. we get crazy and do crazy shit sometims. i know i've done my share of weird, "bad" things when i've been both very manic and very depressed. that's the way it is for untreated, or undertreated bp people.

so his bs is in the past, there's no need to dwell on it. just stick to your decision that it is the past, and make it final in your heart and mind.

i'm divorced and most people don't like getting divorced. i had a lot of love for my husband still when i signed those papers. i know what it's like to hesitate on the line, pen in hand.

don't stand for that kind of treatment and abuse. you deserve far better than that, and hopefully will see that and not fall for his delusions.

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That's great waterfall. I know it hurts. Be strong. You are doing the right thing. Abuse only gets worse. You don't deserve such abuse or betrayal. You deserve respect and need to keep yourself safe. Be proud. You have accomplished a lot. Other women have walked in your shoes too. If there was a CB section for battered women, there would be many women around to speak of the similar situations. Your MI will be helped when you are settled in another environment. You have all the time in the world to create better situations for yourself. Peace.

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Absolutely. I was in an abusive relationship myself once. I had a lot of support from the battered women's center, and I finally got out. Best thing I ever did.

If you have a battered women's center or crisis center, call them. You need support and a lot of it. They are great resources.

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