Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org




What event caused your PTSD?


Recommended Posts

I have PTSD over a couple of things. First, I have been the victim of sexual crimes. I was molested when I was 8-9 and again at 16-17, and raped when I was 25 (I am now almost 27).

I also found my dad dead on the floor. he committed suicide with his crazy meds. he was only 46. His body, covered in his cats, it just comes back again and again...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 120
  • Created
  • Last Reply

i think my trauma (my dr is not sure if its ptsd or just anxiety yet)

comes from having sex at age 13 when i wasnt ready... and i wanted to stop and he didn't. so i layed there and let him finish, and it was emotionally damaging.  and since i learned to do this... i let the same thing happen over and over with other men.

nobody held me down... but i always felt OBLIGATED that i had to do it even when i wanted to stop or didnt want to...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My PTSD comes from spending way too long trapped in an abusive relationship, and rape. I'm sure there are a number of other things that contribute to the issue, especially about me feeling safe in a wide variety of places and in groups of people, but the relationship is the biggest part.

Fiona

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this is really dumb, mainly because it had happened before ... with no problems.

i got lost overnight in the bush during the biggest storm of the year, with people i didn't know, unable to establish radio contact, wet, cold, hallucinating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Being raised in a verbal and physically abusive household. Childhood sexual abuse, and rape as an adult.

What is interesting is that no one really knows why some people can go through some trauma(s) and develop PTSD while other people can go through similar trauma(s) and they do not develop PTSD.

Erika

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest abby

What is interesting is that no one really knows why some people can go through some trauma(s) and develop PTSD while other people can go through similar trauma(s) and they do not develop PTSD.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

have you read invisible heroes?  in one of the earlier chapters, it has a list of... predisposing factors, i guess, to ending up with ptsd.  i read it through with my therapist and we were both hysterical - i fit basically all of them.  plus my dad's a vietnam veteran - they're learning now that being the child of a veteran is another factor (preshrunk hypothalamus?)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My husband's began when his older sister died.  His mother, in shock, went around as if everything was ok, perfect, she can handle it all.  His father turned to alcohol.

His mother's mother insisted they seek therapy, but his mother wouldn't hear of it.

Next, in college, his dorm caught on fire.  He helped two others out, but tried to help a third and couldn't.  The firemen found that boy dead.  My husband was labeled as a hero in the paper, but in his eyes he was a failure because he couldn't get to the other boy.  Of course, there was no reason to seek any type of theraputic help...

After college he joined the army and became airborne infantry...was there when the Colbalt Towers were blown up.  He just happend to leave to take a jog around the block.  Not to mention bombs hidden on people trying to get thru the gates, hidden in their vehicles.  And, my favorite (sarcastic), a military practice ambush gone bad.  Why would you 'practice' with LIVE AMMUNITION????

Poor guy...no wonder he has obsessive/compulsiveness over me.  He's terrified of death.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mother hospitalized and very ill my first year so boarded with non-family, rape, abusive relationship (he tried to kill me), fire-I was able to rouse all my neighbours in the apt.complex except one, she was already dead, 2 car accidents.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will look for the book INViSBLE HEROES. 

I remember being  about  8 when I saw a documentary about the holocuast.  It was very graphic , had real footage.  It has stayed with me.

I cant coprehend this absurd cruelty to any living , breathing livng creature or culture.

We are all capable of anything but we dont all choose to act on every vicous impulse.

Kind of what Erika was saying why do some of us turn one way and some another.

Much Peace  doxie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I was just recently dx'd with PTSD due to physical abuse by my husband.  He went off his crazymeds and became obsessed with what he thought was my infidelity.  I've never been unfaithful, far from it.  But a bipolar off his meds can do very ugly things.  He locked me in the closet and beat me.  My mandible (jaw) is broken and he broke his hand in the process.  He went to jail then to the hosp. for 5 days to get stable.

I was so worried about him (and he's the crazy one?) that for the first week after it happened I was skittish, but I thought I'd be OK...then as time went on, I realized I was getting worse, not better.  Constantly reliving the event, afraid of loud noises (and with 3 boys, forget quiet), and I start to cry out of the blue. 

We saw the movie The Shining last week at an old theater in town (25th anniversary) I never thought seeing a movie that I'd seen many times before could freak me out so bad...husband goes nuts tries to kill wife...sound a little to familiar for me, and the loudness made my skin crawl for 2.5 hours. 

I'm taking Wellbutrin 150mg now...works on getting me out of the bed in the morning, but yesterday I cried 4 times...today is my birthday, and apart from the fact that being 38 totally sucks for my vain self...I've been ok.  Taking it one day at a time, hoping that one day I'll wake up and the beating won't be the first thing I think of. 

~PEACE~

Kim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Happpy Birthday Kim!

      My birthday wish for you is to wake up peacefully tomorrow.  I am sorry for what you have been through. 

    Glad the meds help.  Somethings  like movies or loud noises set me off too.  Currently in therapy and taking xanax and zonegran.  Cake therapy sounds good!  Take care , doxie

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm taking Wellbutrin 150mg now...works on getting me out of the bed in the morning, but yesterday I cried 4 times...today is my birthday, and apart from the fact that being 38 totally sucks for my vain self...I've been ok.  Taking it one day at a time, hoping that one day I'll wake up and the beating won't be the first thing I think of.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Kim,

You are on Wellbutrin, do you see a pdoc or a GP? If you are seeing a pdoc and/or a tdoc and you haven't already brought up your incident with either, it would be best to do so as soon as possible. The longer symptoms of PTSD continue it may require longer and more intensive treatment to help you recover. Having flashbacks, being sensitve to loud noises and being skittish are signs of having an exaggerated startle repsonse, and crying and depression are all symptoms of PTSD. I hope you can get some treatment or counseling to help you out so you can once again feel safe in your own home.

And Happy Birthday. And 38 is not so bad, think of all that you have accomplished in 38 years, you have 3 wonderful sons for one!

Erika, who is already over the hill Bday wise

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It started with an abusive relationship I had in High School and a specific time when he chased me into the bathroom and tried to stab me because I ought off sexual advances (years ago  ;) ). It got worse and I have a different sort of flashback now becasue of a drugging/gang rape that occurred in my college years at a fraternity party. I have difficulty dealing with large parties, loud music, too many people touching me...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Father used to beat me with narrow leather strap. Mom married a chid abuser AFTER divorcing dear old dad. Found a car wreck with body parts all over the road when I was 19. Served in Desert Storm and contrary to popular lore, it really was a fucking WAR!!!!!!!!!!! Lived through an 8.2 earthquake in 1993.

I am hypervigilant. Loud noises make me jump. I always sit where I can see everything, especially in public. I broke my brother's jaw when he snuck up on me and grabbed my sides. That was last Christmas and he knowns better. I cannot stand for anyone but especially men to touch me in a social situation. Just ratchets up the HIY-KEEBAA! instinct.

Of all my mentally interesting traits, I have the hardest time with PTSD. I can never be sure when I will feel the heebie-jeebies coming on. The fight-or-flight, adrenalin pumping, can't stand still feelings are the worst. Then when it passes I feel like crying and hiding from the world.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Kim,

You are on Wellbutrin, do you see a pdoc or a GP? If you are seeing a pdoc and/or a tdoc and you haven't already brought up your incident with either, it would be best to do so as soon as possible.

Erika,

I  went to my GP and told him all about it, he is my whole family's doc.  He first suggested zoloft, but I am very freaky about my weight, no-go for launch on that. I've never been on any meds like this before, but my mom and husband are BP so I know the side effects stink.  But I am feeling a little better, the 150mg wasn't helping with the crying stuff, so doc said to go to 300mg.  Today is the 1st dose of that, felt OK today...Still probably too soon to tell.

I have been thinking about talking to someone on my own about this, however.  I've done therapy before so I am open to it.  The problem with it, however, is that I know what is wrong with me, I want to know how to fix it (w/out pills).  And I don't think deep breathing exercises will help when some kid screams bloody murder at the wal-mart and I get freaked out.  The therapist (Phd Psycologist) my husb and I are seeing is nice, but...  My husb has issues w/his mother and whole family accepting his BP.  Oh yeah, and they hate me.  So the tdoc sends us home with some print outs about breathing and envisioning ourselves as clouds ? and a paperback book called "Emotional Incest" ?  So the jury's still out on her.

I wonder what Dr. Phil would do in our case...if I weren't too embarrassed by the whole thing, I'd send him a letter!

Have a good evening and thanks to all whom sent B-day wishes.  I'm trying to focus on all the positives in my life...but it is hard.

Kim

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...