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JBella

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I'm obsessively thinking about being so fat that I want to take a knife and cut the fat off. I've spent the past six months avoiding leaving the house for any sort of social activity, because I don't want anyone to look at me. The drs are testing me for adrenal problems, anything to figure out why I'm gaining this weight. It's not like I just think I'm fat. I actually am.

I don't know what to do anymore.

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I managed to talk my friend out of going out tomorrow. Again. I look pregnant. And with these mood swings you'd think I might be. I seriously despise myself. And its hard not to be bipolarly depressed when I think that. It's hopeless I think.

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