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Getting worse.

I'm 29 now. I was diagnosed with ADD at 7. I took ritalin untill 7th grade because I was being stigmatized by others for taking it. Stigma and abuse by peers was a common theme in my childhood. I was clinically depressed by Jr High but not medicated, my choice. I was about 16 when my worst symptoms hit. I began to have all of the hallmark symptoms of Schizoaffective Disorder. I didn't see a pdoc about it until I was 26. after I have basically ruined my life.

I have been on every med you can imagine. I can't seem to find any lasting stability. Even with what I'm on now, bad things are happening. I'm really just treading water. I think it's gonna get worse. I only see two outcomes: get worse and lose everything or become so zombied out on meds I can't function anyway.

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Getting worse.

I'm 29 now. I was diagnosed with ADD at 7. I took ritalin untill 7th grade because I was being stigmatized by others for taking it. Stigma and abuse by peers was a common theme in my childhood. I was clinically depressed by Jr High but not medicated, my choice. I was about 16 when my worst symptoms hit. I began to have all of the hallmark symptoms of Schizoaffective Disorder. I didn't see a pdoc about it until I was 26. after I have basically ruined my life.

I have been on every med you can imagine. I can't seem to find any lasting stability. Even with what I'm on now, bad things are happening. I'm really just treading water. I think it's gonna get worse. I only see two outcomes: get worse and lose everything or become so zombied out on meds I can't function anyway.

Hi Jeff.

Im sorry to hear you are feeling so low right now.

All I can suggest is to keep in mind that "hope" is a powerful thing and can aid the treatment of your symptoms quite significantly.

Try not to lose hope. This isnt a black and white situation. The right medication adjustment and/or therapy could help improve your symptoms - but you need to play a part in it too where you can.

Once you have lost all hope it will be difficult to treat you, thats for sure. You have only been seeing a p-doc for three years, so a change of p-doc or of your med regime could be very much viable.

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I can certainly understand what you are going through. I remember telling my social security adjudicator about six months ago that my two options in life were to get worse or to be zoned out on medication.

But I guess that things have gotten better since then. Yeah I have ups and downs. I've been going through a down lately. But my downs now are still better than my ups were a year ago.

I know you feel like you've tried every medication known to mankind but you really haven't. They are always coming up with more medications, more combinations, more cognitive treatments.

And the power of the mind is an amazing thing. Remember you control your thinking. You can choose to be miserable in certain situations or you can choose to relax and let life just happen.

Hope is powerful too. Never give up.

Shana

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Treating your illness is kind of like hitting a moving target. From what most people say, there are going to have to be med and therapy tweaks throughout. It isn't like you find one thing and BAM! you are set. Your body is constantly changing along with your hormone levels, etc... so yeah. It isn't going to be easy.

That being said, it isn't impossible. Annoying, yes. Impossible, no.

My girlfriend's son was diagnosed as schitzoeffective at around 13. (To be diagnosed so young, well you can imagine how bad it had to be.) He was totally out o control, suicidal AND talking about killing his family for years. He ended up institutionalized. He was stable for a while, but since he got out on his own when he turned 19, he crashed hard after not taking his meds. Now he is actually back on meds and living at home. He is working hard to rebuild his life so he can be (mostly) independent again. Ups and downs BIG TIME. But no crest is made out of stone, and no bottom dooms him to stay there. And he is still a teen, so there is always hope for a good future for him. And his relationship with his family is better than ever. So even with all the crap, good came out of it.

Hope. Patience. A good treatment team. Crazyboards. All good tools.

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  • 4 weeks later...

sdjeff

you really got to try them and see wich one fits you better, but you have to try them for a few time, sometimes they get better with long term using, some undisarable effects vanish and you start estabelising more, for instance, Zyprexa at the beginning stucks you home during the day and gives you an urging will of staying out all night long, with time it vanishes and you stabelise a bit more, talk to your doc,they say even personalyti changes come back the wright way to you in due time. try for some time like 4-5-6 months one same med and check out what it does to you and if it fits or not, don't expect imediate cure from any, there isn't, they stabelise you in due time, docs say schizophrenia doesn't have a cure, they can reduce serious symptoms and stabelise you, the rest you have to deal with it yourself, sorry of being so rough, good luck in your research.

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