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Me rambling about my options


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What do you mean GP won't help? Did you tell him/her you are having suicidal thoughts? They have to help!

Can you go to the ER? It's dramatic, but you will certainly get help there.

Once you feel better, going back to parents might be a good option, since you want to leave your marriage. But you have to get the suicidal thoughts dealt with ASAP.

I'm sorry you feel there are no options. Suicide is NOT an option. I hope you will take it off the list.

XO

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Well, if you think that it's emotionally abusive, it probably is... go with your gut. Either way, it doesn't sound like a good place to be.

Going to stay with your parents sounds like a good idea, at least for the time being if you feel like you have to leave right now. Not a possible permanent plan it sounds like from what you say, but maybe being away from him for a least a couple of days would make you feel better? Do some running away from the situation instead of to France?

Do you own property together? Perhaps he could be the one that leaves.

I know drinking probably seems like a good thing to do with the bad news. But you don't want to do that. If you did, you wouldn't be trying to stay away from it to begin with. Drinking yourself into oblivion is just another way to self harm.. It may make you feel good now, but you'll feel bad about it later.

Also, if you're trying to fight suicide why do something that could lead to an attempt? You don't want to put yourself in that position. It's not the answer.

I say go with the sleep option. Pass out for awhile then think about getting away for a bit.

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i vote for the hospital. been there, done that.

when you're in the hospital and you get all kinds of treatment and are also in a structured environment, away from the stresses, it gives you time and space to rationally think. they'll put you on meds and, depending on your response and length of stay, may try different meds on you.

the thing to remember about the hospital is that not only is it there to save your physical life, but your emotional life as well. as i said, there is structure (which bipolars and depressives need), are classes, and therapy. you can figure it all out in the hospital. they also have social workers who can help you deal with your situation with your husband.

life is not a lost cause. my dad gave up on life and took a huge part of my life with him. never, ever do that to someone. even if you're not living for yourself and living for others, do it and just live. suicide is never an option. it is a forever solution to problems that can be solved here and now.

you just need the time and space, and resources (like the social workers) that the hospital will provide. get thee to thy hospital. tell them how suicidal you are so they will admit you to the psych ward. once there, you'll get a lot of help.

best of luck,

loon

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I'm still here, still thinking.

Been talking to my lovely friend, the only person keeping me alive, and he is amazed that I've not even seen a pdoc or a tdoc or anything.

Think away. I'm glad you haven't done anything rash. It's great that you have someone to talk to about things; it really does help. Have you ever looked into getting a pdoc? They tend to be alot better at these things than a GP.

I'm probably gonna go to the hospital, think thats sensible.

It's very sensible. The important thing is to stay safe.

Let us know how it goes.

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believe me about the hospital. you need to be there. it is obviously your choice, but there are the resources there that you need. the admissions process is sometimes a pain in the ass and you wait forever at every step along the way, but it is worth it when you get your bed and you're in the ward. they'll keep you physically and emotinally safe. it is a real haven.

if you are going to the hospital and have trouble waiting, explain that to whoever is in charge of taking in the next patient. show them your anxiety and depression. don't be afraid- let all your tears and confusion out. the crazier you are, the faster they'll take you. promise. that doesn't mean to act crazy just to get their attention, but be the way you are and don't try to be "polite" because you're in public. it is an ER. you are suicidal. you're in pain. crying is normal.

really think about the hospital. as i said, it is a haven. it is tough to get through the admissions process, but worth it. i've been to the hospital 5 times, and wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my admissions.

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that is your disorder talking. you can reach out and find help and solutions all around you- if you have the appropriate back-up and support. fight how you feel!

that is why i'm really stressing the hospital. it sounds like you're someone who needs to be there. my first hospitalization was very overdue because i didn't know what it would be like and was afraid to go there. i didn't know how much it would change my life for the better.

i had a roommate during my first hospitalization who had a really crappy situation going on, much like yours. working with the therapists and social workers ,she was able to find solutions that allowed her to still be independent and to leave her abusive marriage. she was in there for depression and anxiety issues.

you'll never know if it is worth it unless you try it. hopefully, if you decide to go, you'll end up in a good hospital. but whether the hospital gets an A or a B is beside the point. they all have staff there to help you with the issues that drove you nuts and put you there in the first place. they also know about resources that we don't know about.

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Hi,

I dont quite understand why you cant get a referral to a pdoc considering your current condition.

IMO - its best to take care of yourself and not worry about what husband will do. if he becomes abusive, call the police. or leave. or run outside screaming. you do not have to take shit from your husband - especially at a time like this.

please continue to seek help. I know there is someone who is willing to help you.

love,

december

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