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Manic? I haven't had anything like this before.... hm... brainstorm with me, if you would.


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Holy SHIT I don't think I've had this much energy EVER. I drank five cups of coffee earlier (never drank that much before) during my 16 hour shift at work after getting four hours of sleep. I don't think I really need to go to sleep tonight because I need to clean. And I will clean. I cleaned out most of my car just a half hour ago. Next I need to do my study and my livingroom and put all my clean clothes away and then I can probably cook dinners for the next week-- I don't need to be at my family's house until 3pm tomorrow so I guess I'm good as far as the time goes, right?

And for once I actually WILL get something done tonight. I'm glad I'm not tired. It's kinda weird to be not tired at all after such a long shift but it's refreshing to have energy. I'm glad that I'm not a downer today. Damn I keep misspelling things. Some of my fingers are going too fast for the others. Don't worry, I'll probably catch the errors, because I'm good at spelling. I was in a spelling bee and got to the state level when I was younger. I should probably clean the bathroom too. Can never have that too clean. There's just so much mess and I don't know why I'm sitting here instead of cleaning. My hands are shaking they just want to do more things.

It's weird because I'm so angry too. My work's been screwing me over. I work in an Adult Foster Care group home and in there the management is bad. They don't know how to do things in the best interests of the consumers and there's rights violations EVERYWHERE. And I had a meeting with the program director of the home and she made it pretty clear that she didn't want me there. There's tons of allegations against me for things that I didn't do, so I want to get out of there. She wanted me to wait till she was back from her vacation but I put in my two weeks yesterday. I just want to leave that home, not the company that runs it. There's like 20 other homes that I can go to, so my feelings aren't hurt too much. It's just that if I open my mouth (like I was told not to by the management there) about all the rights violations that I've seen then the home might get shut down. I don't want that kind of responsibility but I also don't like the idea of not saying anything because the girls that live in the home are non-verbal. Argh. Just no idea what to do there. Seriously. But apparently people have problems with me working there. So they make up shit about me. And management won't believe me because I'm relatively new there. Well, why do you think they've got such a high turnover rate? Maybe because they treat people like shit there and make them feel like they're never going to help these people no matter how hard they try because they keep getting shut down? Yeah. That's what it looks like. The program director isn't even qualified to pass the people medications! *rolls eyes* it's rediculous.

Gods I'm rambling. Anyway, I need to go clean. Oh and do dishes too, but first put away the groceries and the laundry. I'll also take pictures and post the things on ebay that I need to, unless I collapse first. Hah that's always fun. ..... bye!

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Sorry, were you asking if you seem racey or manicky or not? I mean you're gong from topic to topic a bit fast, but it doesn't read as totally out of control. [Though you do kind of go off topic a bit.] Having five cups of coffee is probably going to hit someone hard and being bipolar, it may hit you harder.

The shakyness could be just from the caffeine and may not necessarily be hypomania related. In the past I have had nights that I have stayed up and done a lot of stuff after having a lot of caffeine. I wouldn't say it is the best idea, certainly not something to do on a regular basis. But I also wouldn't say that if it happens for one night [maybe even into two] it is something to be really worried about. Something to make a note of, yeah. If it keeps happening, it is something to try to get under control.

Do your thoughts feel too fast? Are you havin problems keeping track of what you are thinking?

Sometimes caffeine can make you get really hyper/tweaky even if it hasn't in the past. Even though it's 'just caffeine', it can still do a lot of things to you that you don't expect. I forgot that it could actually be the cause of some problems until I stopped drinking it. Since it's in food and drink, I wasn't really thinking of it as a strong substance.

How are you feeling now? Still restless? Tired yet?

I bet your sleep will be off for a while.

I think you were asking about the hypomania stuff and caffeine so I hope something in there was helpful.

On the other topic:

I hope you get the work stuff straightened out. It sounds really stressful and not a good environment. Would the residents be moved to other homes if that one got shut down?

LR

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it could very easily be the caffeine, especially if you're under stress from work and the holidays, and mixed with your meds, it could create havok.

i'd monitor the situation and see if it continues after the caffeine has left your system. if you stay this way for more than a couple of days, call your pdoc and see about a med tweek.

i'm sorry that you had to give your 2 weeks, and that the home management isn't taking care of the people who live there.

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Guest Guest_Judy Doom_*

I disagree, sure sounds like mania/hypomania to me. Call your pdoc for diagnosis and med tweak. Really, someone should observe you to give you a better answer.

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I crashed yesterday after making myself stay awake for the Christmas stuff and slept 16 hours part of that would be because I took 100mg of my seroquel to force myself to sleep because I knew I would keep going even though I was crashing. Probably a good choice, though I ruined my chance for seeing my aunt and grandmother again. I'm a bit better now, still too many thoughts in my head, going way too fast, but not making a mess of everything.

If the home is closed, the three residents would be moved to a different home, probably under the management of a different company, and most likely together as they've all been together for years and years.

I don't have time to be observed, and I have to wait till my next appointments with my tdoc and pdoc to do anything. It probably also didn't help that I missed my meds until last night. I couldn't find them.

It was a lot different from my other manic states and it was really scary. I remember "cleaning" and that I was cleaning a lot... I thought... but the place is a disaster now that I'm home. No matter how I'm feeling I can usually hide it pretty well from my family, and I succeeded this time, too. That's good, because they worry way too much about me.

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