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I did something that I didn't remember doing


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The strangest thing happened today. I know that I have some memory loss but I didn't expect this. Today I called the topamax (ortho mcneil) company and I was asking about information on the whole birth control controversy. Anyway, the lady asked me for my name and I give it to her and then she says "do you live at such and such address?" and I'm like "dude, how did you know that?" She said that I had called there before and I was in the computer system. I don't remember ever calling there. Weird. What kind of stuff has happened to you?

Erika

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I said it was strange and it actually was BUT at the same time it was expected too. I have found that there are alot of things that I can't remember until someone tells me about it. Maybe I wasn't paying attention I don't know. I have also forgotten how to spell certain words and thinking about what to say sometimes takes some effort because I can't remember what word I want to say. Anyway, I just thought it was part of taking meds. Let me know if I'm wrong.

Erika

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I do it on the Topamax, but I have done many a thing while manic and have had people tell me things I have done.  I recently picked up a mesh shawl I haven't worn in years and the memories came flooding back. Yes, at the time it seemed to be a good idea to wear it around Times Square.  It and only it COMMANDO with a shirt at least at the request of SOME GUY claiming to be the photographer of the New York Clippers.  Or whatever basketball team they have.  I vaguely remember a portfolio, but... It is the size of a small hanky with large mesh squares.

Oh dear lord.

(JBella sighs, hangs head, and then giggles hysterically.)

But yeah, the Dopamax turns me into a total drooling dumbbutt.  Well, not drooling.  Can't remember words, have to think REALLY hard.  Don't capitalize, spell wrong.

EYikes.

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I have also forgotten how to spell certain words and thinking about what to say sometimes takes some effort because I can't remember what word I want to say. Anyway, I just thought it was part of taking meds. Let me know if I'm wrong.

it might be the medication, but it may also be the bipolar illness.  That is what I have found about myself and from the research that I have read.  It gets especially bad during rapid cycling.  It really is not fair.  not only do we have the trouble with the mood swings, we also end up with trouble with our so-called working memory.  There is a lot of research on this if you want me to point you to it, I'll look it up.

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Thank you Bella and CJ2. I really got a laugh out of your story Bella, I know it wasn't funny at the time but I'm sure you think it's funny now. We all do stuff like that I think. Hmmm I think ! Anyway, thanks for the info cj2. I don't think it's the topamax for me, I just started on it. But it could be the wellbutrin or the seroquel, then again maybe it's the zoloft, hell who knows anymore. I do know one thing for sure. I have a headache right now, I feel hot as hell, I also feel like this computer screen is unusally bright and it's hurting my eyes. I took some xanax.

Erika

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I forget things ALL the time.  I don't even remember them happening days later.  My mother SWEARS my brother told me she was (she said she heard me in the room while she was on the phone with him) out of town one night while I was worried where she was, but I don't even recall the phone ringing that night.  It's weird.

My mom is on topomax and this explains a lot.  She has lots of memory problems that she didn't have before she took the medication.

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I used to get people saying they had had conversations with me, or I had done things which I had no recolection of, I later found out that it was part of the DID, please becareful, talk to yr psych if still worried

xxx

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A few years back my sister mentioned her daughter's first communion (that's right, catholic, that will explain a lot of my issues)  to which I responded, I may not be able to go, but it's not like I"m her godmother or anything.  "Um sis, YES YOU ARE!"  How could I forget that?? I was undiagnosed and unmedicated then!

I'm glad I"m not the only one.

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I can't spell--worse than before the meds--, can't type, my handwriting is totally unreadable, and I forget things like people's names that I know REALLY well, and stuff Ihave done really recently.  I'm not sure if its meds, the damn disease, old age, or what the fuck--or maybe my brain cells finally are checking out after all the weirdo stuff I did to them in the 70's and 80's--or a mad combo of it all. I just chalk it up to old , old age, and tell people to fuck off.

But secretely, I am horribly embarrassed.  And I know they are gone for good, alas--but there are some things I can't remember that drive me NUTS---

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Guest Guest

i forget things all the time. i find the worst is when people start to remind me and little pieces start to come back and then i know their not just full of crap. as for names, if i forget i just make a new one up and tell them it is a nickname. i would have to say it is a big frustration forgetting words in the middle of a sentence.  ;)

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what is the DID

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dissociative Identity Disorder. It's another term for Multiple Personality Disorder (or a form of the same type of dissociative disorder, depending on who you ask).

Dissociation is a mental process, which produces a lack of connection in a person's thoughts, memories, feelings, actions, or sense of identity. During the period of time when a person is dissociating, certain information is not associated with other information as it normally would be. For example, during a traumatic experience, a person may dissociate the memory of the place and circumstances of the trauma from his ongoing memory, resulting in a temporary mental escape from the fear and pain of the trauma and, in some cases, a memory gap surrounding the experience. Because this process can produce changes in memory, people who frequently dissociate often find their senses of personal history and identity are affected.

From: http://www.sidran.org/didbr.html

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I have the opposite problem...I think I've done or experienced something, when in reality I haven't. I think it's because I have very, veeerrry vivid dreams and I incorporate things I've done there into my awake life.

It sorta scares me sometimes, and makes me all worried that I'm telling lies like about my parent's abuse of me...like, I remember one of them holding me down while the other one beat me, but what if it was a dream? Sounds stupid, but it's really scary to go through it (for me anyway).

I forget words, too, btw, and I think that might be as much the BP as it is my meds. My grandma and dad (who are probably some form of BP and are unmedicated) and I all do this one thing that drives people nuts. We click our tongues when trying to think of that word we can't remember. Lots of clicking tongues in our family ;) , someone forgets a simple, yet essential word at least once a sentence. The other day for me it was "chest freezer." Heh.

But not remembering...that sounds scary too.

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Thank you sunshine for the definition. I might have some of that but I don't think that I do. I usually remember important events and things that really matter. It's the little things that I don't remember. I was watching TV the other night and I had taken my xanax already. My boyfriend peaks his head around the corner and asks me to have sex and I told him no. I didn't remember him asking until he told me but I think it was in part because I was watching TV. I didn't have this memory problem as bad before the medication. It doesn't bother me though. I find it interesting most of the time. The only thing that bothers me is the word problems. I think when I forget a word, I might either click my tongue or snap my fingers.

Oh yeah and about this dream thing. The other day I was thinking it would be really wierd if like we were actually dreaming all of this and we had lives somewhere else. I know it's stupid logic, it was just one of those thoughts.

Erika

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the thing that gets to me is when I'm in mid conversation and then I can't think of a word and it's like an easy word but I just can't think of what it is that I want to say so I'm like "fuck it"

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've had this problem a lot lately too (Lamictal and loss of thyroid/titrating up).  Usually this happens when I'm talking to a friend or family.  I just try to describe the meaning of the word (not always coherently) and sometimes while I'm describing it I get it.  Other times friends and family can supply it, and sometimes it's just lost for a while. 

The problem I have is that I have a fairly extensive vocabulary and sometimes no one but me in the conversation knows the word.  I probably shouldn't use those words as they're less than communicative to people who don't know their meaning.  But, one time I used a very common word (exhausted) and the person I was talking to didn't know the meaning.  After that I refused to dumb down my conversation.  After all, how arrogant is it to think the person you're talking to doesn't have your same vocabulary.

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