pawnshopbassist Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Greetings chums, I've been lurking for some time like a creepy stalker and I thought I'd actually join and contribute like a productive member of society, which I unfortunately am currently not since I haven't found the right drug combo yet. I love similes, me (however I cannot do science, me). My current official diagnonsense is depression and anxiety and I'm on Prozac which has made me hypomanic and mixed over the last couple of weeks so I'll probably get diagnosed as bipolar when I actually see a mental health professional (apparently I'm being assigned a CPN on tuesday and getting sent an appointment letter, yay for the NHS) and hopefully get put on something that makes me not-depressed, not-hyper and not-KILLMENOWargharghmixed. Was previously on Prozac (I'm on the generic fluoxetine and the last generic I was on made me sleep all day every other day, go figure) and Zyprexa and Celexa together which stopped the internal voices but didn't do much for the depression so my doctor took me off both of them and put me back on Prozac and the lid has blown off! I rapid-cycle so right now I feel like a yoyo, I wanted to top myself this morning and now life is GOOD. Makes about as much sense as a Monty Python sketch but c'est la vie, well for us it seems anyway. So yeah, I'll stop spouting gibberish now. *waves* Hugs for all who want them. *hugs* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grousemouse Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 hi new crazy person. it's always nice to lurk first and get a feel for the place. check out the exits and all. my official dx is major depression too. i hope you get your stuff straightened out soon cos it doesn't sound that fun at all. welcome, grouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneD'oh Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Hi pawnshopbassist, I'm Jane. I just popped back in on the board yesterday, so we can be newbie nuts together. Welcome. Sorry to hear you're on the up-and-down. I'm pretty sizzled these last few weeks myself and am thinking I'll probably hear some new diagnonsense next time I see Doc. I recently increased on my prozac, going from 20 to 40mg. I did it because my seasonal affect was so bad that I couldn't get out of bed until noon even with my stimulants on board. The first two weeks on the increase I was taking 2 of the 20 mg white generic tabs I've always had, and things were feeling okay. I wasn't getting up at 6:30, but I was making it by 9:00, a decent improvement. Then I went to the doc, reported the increase, and she rewrote me for 40's so I wouldn't have to buy two refills at a time. I ended up getting red and blue capsules instead of the usual tabs. These don't seem to sit quite as well with me and I wonder if they're not making me more freaky. Can you tell me more what the prozac induced mania feels like? I ask because how you describe your current situation sounds just so much like the turmoil I'm experiencing right now. I seem to have good moments and bad moments in the day, there's no pattern to them, and some times I just space out and absolutely feel like I can't even move. Other times I feel quite ordinary and present and able to do things. From what I read around the board here and the net, it sounds a little like mixed state but I can't, of course, tell that for myself. Anyway, if you don't want to give more details or anything, that's okay too. Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawnshopbassist Posted January 10, 2007 Author Share Posted January 10, 2007 Hi Jane, the prozac hypo can be euphoric and dysphoric for me. The euphoric one is like I've drunk ten cups of coffee and I'm bouncing about all over the place, talking and thinking a mile a minute and just generally feeling like the world is absolutely wonderful and everything is lovely and exciting. If anyone argues with me I get annoyed and shout at them and it's generally like my energy is turned up to 11. I sorta drift in and out of that feeling through the day but it keeps coming back, so I'll be hypo for two or three hours then normal mood then back to hypo and so on all through the day. I sleep less than I usually do (but I usually sleep 12 hours a day so it doesn't necessarily seem like a big difference), sometimes I don't sleep at all and don't feel really tired the next day except when I come down to a normal mood. The dysphoric one is feeling agitated and like my skin is crawling and all I can think about is how unbearable I feel and how much I want to die, I pull at my hair and bang my head against the wall just to relieve the tension, and I can't sleep so I just lie there in this horrible mess. I also shout and hit people if they look at me funny, touch me, talk to me, anything. The dysphoric mood is more or less continuous and I have to take 5mg of Zyprexa I have left just so I can sleep (not advocating self-medication but I was literally ripping my hair out). When I started taking it I was meant to start on 20 and switch up to 40 after a week, which I did. When I was on 20 I was euphoric, switched up to 40 and went dysphoric so switched back down to 20 after a week and been euphoric since. When I went to the doctor on Monday I was euphoric and anxious because doctor's waiting rooms make me REALLY anxious and I talked and felt like I was on speed. I saw another doctor because my usual one is on holiday and she didn't tell me to stop taking the Prozac so I haven't, partly because I know if I go off it I'll plummet into a deep depression (which is what happened when I came off Celexa) and it's more fun being hypo than depressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaneD'oh Posted January 11, 2007 Share Posted January 11, 2007 I totally get the unbearable, wanting to die, pull at your hair (I pick my skin) agitation thing. I don't get any sort of euphoria. I just sort of come back to 'well, it's gonna be okay, I'm fine'. Then a few hours later, it's back to curling up on the couch trying hard not to shriek at the top of my lungs. One of my sons said he thought I was napping the other day, so he decided not to bother me, but he noticed as he was walking by that my eyes were open and I was rubbing my lips together as if I'd just put on some lipstick and was spreading it around. I don't remember that. I don't tend to yell at anyone, but anything they ask me for just feels like such an incredible, impossible effort, and I want to be alone. Yet at the same time, inside I'm pounding at myself trying to get myself up and working. I know I have to get this stuff done. Nobody's going to cook if I don't, the bills aren't gonna pay themselves, my kids need watching and help with their schooling, and I scream at myself to just get up and DO IT, but I can't. I feel horribly lazy and guilty and panicked that my husband is going to be angry when he comes home and nothing's done yet again. Yet I just can't bring myself to begin anything, and even as much as I want to do things, I also DON'T want to do them with the same high level of intensity...at the same time as the "I want to" thoughts. The conflict is just unbearable and I want to scream. Then I usually blank out for a while, daydreaming or listening to a CD. That has been a problem basically forever. It's just that with the change from 20 to 40 it seems a lot more intense. Either that or the 40 has brought me into reality to the point where now I'm actually noticing what is going on and getting distressed by it. Thanks for the description of your symptoms. I'm going to make a point of asking about bipolar next time at the doc. I'm thinking actually of calling the office tomorrow...I'm not sure how long I can handle the discomfort. I hope you get relief soon, too. I've heard that the UK health system can be a pain. Is there anyway you could get seen immediately? Hang in there, Jane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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