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I already know that I'm bipolar BUT...


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depressed side - don't want to work, don't want to take a shower, brush teeth, talk, walk, get dressed, so on and so forth.

manic up - shopping, thinking I can go to work the next day and make another 500.00 so it's no big deal. making lists and schedules of things to do as far as working out and my job lol. I also make these plans of how to save money and buy a house and do all of other wild shit and then the next day I don't follow through. I'll clean house all night and rearrange furniture. Can go days without sleep.

manic rage - will break valuable things just to make myself feel better. yelling, screaming for no reason. no reasoning with myself nor can anyone else reason with me. Will get pissed very quickly and snap at someone for almost nothing at all and then feel bad about it later.

Some hallucinations (spelling ?) - very mild, questiong almost. I'll talk to myself and ask if I really saw it or not. Usually shadows, shifting objects, hearing my name being called, I sometimes see bugs that aren't there.

panic attacks

constant worrying

making up things in my head to be worried about.

Most of this is controllable with my medication. I was most certainly 100% always like this without my medication.

I'm leaning toward BPI w/ rapid cycling but I don't know.

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Add throwing things, ramming people's cars and being asked to leave public places before the authorities are called and I'm you, too. Well, I also don't generally feel bad about the flipping out on random people becauseTHEY did something to piss me off. Oh, I also hate to bathe when manic OR depressed. I've been depressed since March and I honestly can't tell you how many times I've brushed my teeth---I think I get at them every couple of days. Gross, huh?

I was listed as BPII until my doc saw one of my rages and decided to call me BPI after all. Ahem, he doesn't know about the hallucinations. I've only had one, but it was a disembodied voice coming from my headboard. Unless you count the corner of my eye things, like you've experienced. Maybe I should bring those up.

But enough about me...I'd guess BPI for you (the raging and hallucination makes me think maybe yes?). But I'm crazy, what do I know? ;)

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