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i'm ba-ack and i bring the blues

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hey y'all. nice to see some old faces back on the board. febreezey especially! and maddy! i've missed you all!

back in the game again. gurk.

i'm stuck in the middle of nowhere doing a crappy resident medical officer job. they have completely ignored the carefully constructed safety features that my registration is conditional upon. i'm really lonely, i'm living in a house with a bunch of other girls, and some of them just don't shut up! it's ghastly! i have lived on my own for so long, and now i'm living with a constant background commentary. i have gone from my own mute silence to the gilmore girls, on tv AND in real life. urrrrrg.

and the bastard depression is back.

i was taking edronax for a while but then it gave me terrible autonomic side effects with dangerous tachycardia so i had to quit it. i haven't got any more pharmacology options, at least any that my docs will even consider using. they are so backward here! i'm already paying full label for the seroquel, so sheesh, i've got the cash, i just need the sanity!

my current plan is to make it through this nasty term. buy a carbon fibre road bike. exercise my bmi back under twenty. if all else fails, then i check myself in for a "rest" hahahaha.

it's so unfair really.

i am also struggling to make myself attractive to the people selecting trainees for anaesthetics next year, which is where i want to be. i may be studious, hardworking, affable, English speaking, but they have the ultimate refusal card "certify that you are not (illicit) drug dependant or have an illness preventing you from practising anaesthetics safely". this one really bugs me. theoretically, i am safe all the time, because i am vigilant and proactive and have NEVER practised medicine unsafely because i don't want to lose my registration. i have excellent insight and i'm not so stupid to jeopardise things. but they can always say that maybe one day i won't have the insight blah blah blah what if i don't practice safely what if purple elephants storm the building what if butter beans become legal tender? telling them that being safe for "x" amount of years means nothing - telling them that they might end up being unsafe means nothing. i'm marked.

might as well just slit my professional wrists and become a gp.

oh god no!

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Hi Stinky, welcome back.

I don't know about the gilmore girls but I can just imagine you with a stack of books and notes with a swirling gabfest going on. ;)

The tachycardia side effect is rather wild, sorry you lose that med. I know anaesthetists have to be meticulous observers and record keepers, but I don't see any reason why depression should be disqualifying, per se. Unless they consider the responsibility too critical.

Would a big floppy hat make your sitcom life better? ;0 Maybe getting that bike sooner would be good for your blues. Hang in there.


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Good to see you again.

Congrats at coming this far. You'll be a great at whatever you end up doing. Caring people are hard to come by in the health field. You are a rare gem. Let that awareness counteract the blues. A partner I had who visited me at a psych ward once said that when I realize I am better than I think I am I will no longer need such a place. Everyone at CB is better than what the illnesses make us think.

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hi stinky!

it's nice to hear from you, i wish the news were better.

"certify that you are not (illicit) drug dependant or have an illness preventing you from practising anaesthetics safely"

i don't see how your MI would prevent you. do they have to prove it? is there a specific standard? i dunno, i'm suspicious.

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