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So I have gone off my meds...


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First I stopped the Zoloft. Then the Adderal and the Xanax. Still on the sleeping meds.

Why? It makes me feel weak having to take them. thats not exactly it though. I can't explain it. I just don't want to take them. I don't want my life to revolve around my pills.

And its not because I'm not depressed, or not distracted, or hell, I even cut a few weeks back.

I know this isn't right. someone please talk some sense in to me. I just feel really alone.

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When I think about how much taking meds sucks, I just think about how I was before meds and how incredibly awful it was. It's hard to accept that I will never be a normal person, I will have to take these damn meds the rest of my life, but at least I will have a much better chance of having a decent life than if I was unmedicated. I hope that helps, I don't know what else to say.

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I don't know how helpful I can be.

I'm having problems taking my meds right now, too. I mean, I'm taking them still. But... I'm having those feelings. I really don't want to be and it's getting harder and harder to take them. i guess it's because I don't want to have my life revolve around pills, yeah. Ultimately, that must be the reason. Or I don't want to be defined by my illness.

But the thing is, if i don't take the meds, I'm gonna end up fucking nuts. So I will therefore let my illness control me instead of the other way around and therefore, be defined by my illness. Because I will be a crazy person. Instead of someone who is a whole bunch of things, and on of those things happens to be that I am bipolar.

So. I have to take my meds. There's too much to lose by slipping up. I don't want to lose control because I let it just slip away from me.

We make mistakes and we can recover from them, but we shouldn't just hand ourselves over. It's not right. You can fix it. I'm trying really hard to take my meds right now and I know this feeling will pass again.

Take care of yourself. Medication is one of the tools that we have to help ourselves. You realize that you should be using that tool to your advantage. Please do.

LR

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Halo,

I went off my meds about 4 months ago (Topamax and Lexapro). I still take my Xanax and Ambien as needed.

I was tired of the side effects, esp. the weight gain. It was counteracting any good that the meds were doing, which frankly, didn't feel like much anymore. I was also tired of feeling addicted to them. And I didn't want to get back on another med. So, here I am med-free (for the most part). And I feel pretty darn good. I take a Fish Oil and B vitamin supplement, along with a multivitamin, every morning.

Maybe you will have the same experience. I know what you mean when you say you don't want to be on reliant on them anymore. That's exactly how I felt.

Good luck to you.

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Ok this response may come across as harsh but I'm going to write it anyway---

I am convinced that the number one most stupid thing that people with mental illnesses do to mess up their lives is go off their meds.

And I say this as someone who has done it once or twice or several times myself. BUT I have learned my lesson and I have made a promise to myself that I'm not going to go off my meds again.

To address your specific reasoning for going off of your meds-- "I feel like my life revolves around my pills" or something like that-- you are RIGHT--- YOUR LIFE DOES REVOLVE AROUND YOUR MEDICATION-- it has to. And thats just tough shit. The sooner you can accept that and move on the sooner you can start living a normal life.

You will never live a norma life if you are off of medication. You will be depressed, moody, suicidal, possibly committed against your will, etc. This is probably not what you want for your life. But with medication you can have school, friends, a career, etc. I AM LIVING BREATHING PROOF THAT WITH MEDICATION A NORMAL LIFE IS POSSIBLE. I am a deans list psychology student. I sit on the school's Student Government and Judicial Board. NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT MY MEDICATION. A year ago without medication I was committed against my will after attempting suicide.

Yes in a way my life now revolved around taking my pills every day but that is my key to having a normal life.

So dont' screw up your life-- take your meds and dont be stupid!

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I agree with Sophia's post that some people do need to be on meds for the rest of their life.

But, in certain cases, I think there are also people who can go on meds for a while (during a difficult period in life, etc.) and then go off of them and be ok. I'm one of those people.

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Meds = peace and stability

Illness = "I am the godess supreme why do people not flock before me?" or Jumping out of windows while believing one can fly. Those are the happy extremes. I don't want to mention what unhappy delusions are like. Do you get the picture? If you don't think you will become that ill then you are in denial. Nobody gets to choose how sick they will become. Nobody thinks that the worst will happen to them or that they will become sicker than before or the last time.

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So? How's it going? It's been, what, 11 days now? I don't know, offhand, the half-lives of the meds you were taking but I imagine they're just about out of your system by now. How is it? Are you shaky? Nauseous? Irritable? Crashing?

I stopped taking my meds about 6 weeks ago. The jury is still out as to how smart a move it was, but shaky, nauseous, irritable, and crashing were pretty much the norm for the first few weeks. I've stabilized a bit now and am examining the options.

I'm not gonna tell you what to do but I wanted you to know you're not alone.

millieO

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