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My Therapist. The Trigger.


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I look forward to therapy every week because I get to discuss all of my needless...and pointless (he makes me see this)...psychotic episodes, along with everything else in my life. He makes me think about the situations and understand them...causing me to remember what he says the next time I come across a situation like, oh...my girlfriend going out for coffee with a friend...or talking on the phone too long. Yes, I have many triggers. But, I'm working on it.

Last week, I went to therapy and waited in the lobby. After ten minutes, my therapist comes out and tells me that his receptionist made a mistake and double booked that time slot. He then told me to come in five days later. Five days later! I was excited to talk to him. I had a great week and was feeling really optimistic. I was totally bummed. Then, an hour later, not only was I bummed, but I now felt that my therapist did this on purpose because he no longer wanted to see me. This feeling stayed with me...I couldn't shake it. I still can't. I went to see my therapist today, as scheduled, and couldn't open up. I shut down. I didn't want to be there. Now I'm in a horrible mood. I don't have the great feeling I normally have after leaving. I'm upset because he's the best therapist I've ever had and I feel like I may need to find a new one.

I don't feel like I can talk to him about this because I'm embarrassed. And I don't want him to be embarrassed if it's true.

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If you were a therapist and had to choose between clients. How would you feel? He probably feels bad knowing that you would have a strong reaction. He knows your dx and should expect that this would be your reaction cause it is a typical boderline reaction. I know your emotional needs are as important as anyone elses. Is there any situation that somebody else could be going thru that you would accept as a reasonable explanation for why he has chosen to see the other client? Like the other client experiencing a psych crisis and needing help. Death of a child? Is there anything that you can think of that would help you settle your mind. Try to remember that it is the receptionists mistake. He did not want to be doing this to you. He will be wanting to use this goof up as an experience for the two of you to work on in therapy. This is when growth happens - when life throws hurdles? That which does not break you makes you stronger. If you work on this with hime there will be a time for things between the two of you to be good again.

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Ps. He DOES want to see you. You may be hurt in the moment and unable to see this. If he did not want to see you he would not have made the latest appointment. It is really important that you realize this. In a field where pro's tend to not want to take on patients who will turn on them, he has chosen to work with YOU. If he disliked you, you would not have made it this far with him. There are therapists willing to work with people who hurt and who hurt alot. You are turning on him before he can abandon you. Can you see that?

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Moore,

Sometimes I can 'feel' like something is true but in reality, it isn't. Sometimes I need to get some evidence to back up my feeling, to see if it is true or not. Now I can see how being turned away made you feel like your therapist was rejecting you. But he did make another appointment and keep it with you, and I presume you have another booked too. That would give me an indication that he does want to keep seeing you and working with you. Also, the mistake in the booking was a secretary's mistake, not the therapist himself. So that is even more evidence you can trust that he wants to keep working with you.

I would talk to him. When I wanted to go from having one session to a week to two with my therapist, she explained that it wasn't possible. I assumed it was because she didn't like me. It was very hard for me to ask her if this was true. When I did ask, she said no, she did like me that was not the reason. We also got a lot of work done that day.

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Thank you all...after thinking about the situation more, you're right. Even though it will be hard, I need to tell him so that he understands. I have another appointment on Friday and I'm going to bring it up. I'm also curious to see how he responds...if he'll be surprised that I felt that way.

Thank you so much for your responses! I'm new to this board and I was hesitant to post because of that...I've never done this before. I now feel like I have a place where I can talk to people/let out my concerns without being told that I'm being stupid/ridiculous. That's a great feeling!

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Thank you so much for your responses! I'm new to this board and I was hesitant to post because of that...I've never done this before. I now feel like I have a place where I can talk to people/let out my concerns without being told that I'm being stupid/ridiculous. That's a great feeling!

Feel free to burst out in song if you'd like. Kumbaya is my fave for moments like these. ;)

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Thank you so much for your responses! I'm new to this board and I was hesitant to post because of that...I've never done this before. I now feel like I have a place where I can talk to people/let out my concerns without being told that I'm being stupid/ridiculous. That's a great feeling!

i'm glad you feel safe here.

we're always happy to have new members.

if you want you can introduce yourself on the introduction board so that more of us can get to know you.

best,

penny

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Moore,

I am new here as well. I just wanted to say I really enjoyed this thread. It helped me remember the transference struggles I had with my therapists. To all, wonderful insights and very tender.

Thanks for allowing me to listen.

Suz

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Cowdog

Moore, bummer that happend to you, but I would talk to your tdoc about it, and how it made you feel. My motto with pdocs and tdocs is SPILL EVERYTHING! (I know easier said than done sometimes, but that's whhat we pay them for, and there's probably nothing you could say that he hasn't heard before!) Go for it, and good luck!

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