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Am I abnormally paranoid or am I normal?


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I obsess for hours every day about a serial killer murdering me or my family. I check behind doors, in closets, behind the shower curtain, make sure the doors/windows are locked, and I pray well it is more like a chant as I don't believe in god. I just think if I don't say it that the aforementioned will happen. I have nightmares on almost a nightly basis about someone in my family being murdered.

I don't want to bring this up to my therapist or new pdoc because what if this is normal and they think I am just being silly? My parents always said I was just being silly, but I don't think I am. I really am terrified of this. I know it is not common to be murdered by a serial killer, but someone has to be a victim. I'm as good of a victim as anyone else. I mean, my life is fairly predictable. I do the same things at the same time generally because I like order and little changes make me worry.

Should I just suck it up? Or maybe I should try to mix up my routines so that no one could actually stalk me? Does everyone worry like this?

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I think that when thoughts like this become really intrusive and start impacting significantly on your day-to-day life, then it's time to speak to your pdoc/tdoc. It's not normal to be feeling like this. So, no - don't just suck it up - tell them.

M

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Intrusive thoughts like these that you are describing can actually be part of the bipolar spectrum. My first pdoc didn't mention this neat little tidbit to me, even when I described to him almost exactly the same thoughts you're describing. I discovered it on my own while cruising through some books on bipolar disorder, specifically "Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder". When I asked about it, then yes, it can be included in the diagnosis.

Medications definitely have helped with both the mood swings and with the intrusive thoughts. It would definitely be worth mentioning to your doctor so you can get some relief from it.

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yes, that is very true, intrusive thoughts are a part of BP. my pdoc always makes sure i have an atypical to get rid of my thougths. my thoughts are similiar to yours, but i live alone, so i'm worried about myself being murdered. i also have a stalker, who tried to rape me, so this makes it all the more exciting.

i'd tell your health care team. it isn't silly. your fears are common and real. don't feel silly about anything you need to share with them. they've heard it all, i promise.

maybe you'll be given an atypical or if you have one, your dose increased, or they'll do something else. but it needs attention! you deserve to live better.

loon

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That is not normal. I know a number of people who are more paranoid than I am about potential danger, some of whom keep bunches-o-guns in the house, but they do not obsessively check for serial killers.

Changing patterns is a pretty standard personal safety thing - I've heard it in various places - but I think the real problem here is not the patterns but the degree of concern you have over what might happen if you don't. Tell your pdoc about this - it sounds like a major problem for you, and it's not necessary.

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Ok, I will tell my pdoc. But what if he thinks I am crazy? Or just being silly? I mean, should a grown woman with kids really be so worried about something so improbable? But I just see things and hear things and that makes me worry even more.

I will tell him though but my appt is not until the 21st. I do see my therapist next week though.

Thanks for not calling me crazy. Other people I have told have called me crazy.

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Definitely tell him. He's heard everything before, and things that are way "crazier" than that. It's not silly. It's just a problem that you're having. It's his job to help you with it.

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