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i will start by saying i am freaked the fuck out.

we have a system member named mignon who for some reason can't see/hear me right now so i can get away with being here asking this.

we have a docs appointment tomorrow and mignon ALWAYS goes to the doctor. we can't stop it. it's like there's the doctor, BAM, there's mignon... total switch. and it's almost impossible to get any words out that aren't hers. sometimes i can hear everything that's going on, i just can't do anything about it.

anyway, tomorrow mignon has this grand plan that she is going to change our diagnosis from DDNOS to some flavor of psychoses. she is going to come to the doc with this grand realization that she's just been hallucinating "the voices" and it's all really just "her" being delusional. the docs LOVE this shit. it means you're "getting better", "gaining insight".

but we multiples know that ain't the truth. we are REAL, dammit!

however, this "realization" will lead the docs to give us lots and lots of drugs that inhibit "hearing voices" and "seeing things" as well as drugs for the depression and anxiety. i am scared to death that means none of us will ever get out again, be conscious again, for as long as she is taking these drugs. and she is a powerful force to be dealt with - if she says yes to a med, it STAYS (and vice versa).

can this happen? are we about to go away forever? has anyone ever had this happen?

i need kind reassuring words that tell me i am crazy and she can't medicate me away. but i don't want to be lied to either.

thank you if you have any input. this is the second time i've written about this this morning and she didn't stop me. wassup with that? am i that inconsequential to her? or does she just think i'll be gone tomorrow and it won't matter anymore.

-rita

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Lys, I'm taking a whopping dose of seroquel for my hallucinations and inner Voices. As you might expect, it is doing little to nothing about my multiplicity, but it has made my hallucinations a lot more sporadic ;) I hope that the session goes well and you get some help

My inside community or members of them have threatened to never let me "out" again several times and particular members have threated us with death...we are all still here, but I too fear a hostile take over and banishment of self

Tdoc says it can't happen , but he doesn't know how strong some of these personalities are

Can you write a letter to your doctor and let him know the truth? so no matter what Mignon claims, he/she will have both sides? I don't really know if that would be of any help.

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This won't help much because I really don't know what I'm talking about, but...

I don't think drugs have much of any effect on multiplicity. Maybe they'll make whoever takes the drug feel druggy... and maybe less likely to hallucinate. But you're not a hallucination.

And this is all assuming the doctor even goes for it. It sort of sounds like a wobbly plan to me.

I'm not saying a 'scrip for anti-psychotics would necessarily be a good thing... but I don't think you're going away.

(Anti-depressants, on the other hand... I don't know... they can be very helpful to some people.)

And, just for the record, I'm not multiple... just madly in love with his multiple wife. I'm learning a lot about it... and perhaps have reached the point that I know just enough to be dangerous!

In any event, try not to panic. You'll be fine.

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ugh. crappy situation!

first of all, no drug can "cure" dissociation. all it can do is fuck with your brain chemistry. do you have a tdoc that can talk to mignon to see why she is behaving this way? she is really going to have to accept that she is just one in a large group if she's going to be happy.

if it were in here, we would probably refuse to make it to any appointments until the misbehaving person agreed to only see the doctor under certain conditions. the fact that she is able to prevent all of you from doing anything at all during appointments means that she is probably very terrified or very angry. in here anyway only strong emotions can cause someone to front hog like that.

i think sending the doctor a letter might be a good idea. if she only interferes AT the office, that still gives you a lot of leeway.

you also don't have to fill the prescription if she gets you any major anti psychotics. you don't need them and they will probably make your life miserable.

some people in here have gone through bouts of "you are all imaginary, i just need to get on with life" and they always end up realising they're not alone. it's a coping method for them. DENY EVERYTHING! and for some of us, it was strict programming about not knowing anyone else so that we couldn't communicate.

good luck with her. remember: you can't be medicated away, you don't have to fill prescriptions just because you are given them, you don't even have to go to the doctor's if she's going to be that much of a pain :/

abi

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thank you all so much. i feel less paraniod today.

the doc changed our risperdal to zyprexa and i have a cotton head now. don't remember much about the appointment or what she said. but i am still HERE. so i guess you are all right, thank you.

don't have the ability to say much but i read every word.

-rita i think

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ABIFAE!

You are being irresponsible and plain wrong to tell someone to not take meds and to stay away from the therapist!!!

Meds and therapy are the cornerstones of scientific and methodical treatment for mental illnesses. While it is true that AP's won't cure DID/MPD, they can be helpful for the constellation of symptoms that surround and associated with it. The vast majority of doctors know that and concienciously and correctly prescribe.

Therefore it is wrong for you to advise otherwise. We encourage members to be informed and thoughtful consumers, but to seek and follow the trained advice of their doctors.

One should never use their mental illness as an excuse for failing to use common sense.

a.m.

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i didn't mean to not take any meds at all. i meant if someone in there tried to get a prescription just to medicate the others away.

ditto on not seeing the therapist. i was thinking more along the lines of finding ways around someone causing trouble, not in avoiding doctors altogether.

i didn't mean for it to come out as not taking meds and staying away from therapists. i just figured if someone in there is only causing trouble in that context, maybe the context needs changed.

abi

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ABIFAE!

You are being irresponsible and plain wrong to tell someone to not take meds and to stay away from the therapist!!!

A.M.,

I don't think you read what Abifae actually wrote, and certainly not what Lysergia posted - not if that's the

conclusion you've arrived at as to the intent of the previous postings.

Meds and therapy are the cornerstones of scientific and methodical treatment for mental illnesses. While it is true that AP's won't cure DID/MPD, they can be helpful for the constellation of symptoms that surround and associated with it. The vast majority of doctors know that and concienciously and correctly prescribe.

As far as these "cornerstones" go, none of that works if the patient decides to lie about his symptoms in order to

get a different diagnosis, or in order to please a therapist. Under those circumstances, it would be really stupid

to take the resulting prescription before checking it out thoroughly.

While APs are intended for treating schizophrenia and find beneficial use for depression with psychosis and

bipolar disorder, even then, it's far more often the atypical antipsychotics that are prescribed. Abi refered to

major APs as medications to avoid, and for depression, PTSD, agoraphobia, and even "agitation", I'd agree

with her. I certainly wouldn't advise mixing a major tranq like Haldol with Wellbutrin or Effexor.

One should never use their mental illness as an excuse for failing to use common sense.

Taking a medication prescribed based on deliberately misleading information, just because an MD wrote it out

in the end, isn't "common sense."

Continuing to see a doctor/therapist that provides an environment that triggers a dangerous behavior,

without attempting to find an equally-qualified professional who doesn't, also isn't "common sense."

Expecting a doctor to rearrange schedules and office environment to make it maybe more likely that one

patient's alters can participate is just asinine - it's far better for the patient to make a change in her

envirornment first.

It's possible that "Mignon" has a better grasp of the situation than "Rita." But if not, Abi's advice is sound in this instance where a psychological problem may impair medical treatment.

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It's possible that "Mignon" has a better grasp of the situation than "Rita." But if not, Abi's advice is sound in this instance where a psychological problem may impair medical treatment.

thank you ;) i thought that was what i was saying, but figured it came out all scrambled.

abi

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Abi and I have had a bunch of real life discussions about this. Trust me, she doesn't want everyone running amok unmedicated. I think we just have a simple misunderstanding here.

(But it is nice to know that AM is standing by ready to defend modern science. Plus he does look hot in those super hero tights and cape! Hee hee hee) :)

Just my opinion on the matter, but it seams to me that doctors do go about dealing with multies in a backward manner. They want to drug the voices and make them go away. However, the voices are not usually the CAUSE of all the problems to begin with. It isn't like multis are non-multi one day, then all these personalities spontaniously develop and their lives go to shit. They are muti's because of brain issues, abuse, both, whatever. The other personalities formed for a specific reason.... to deal with the "stuff" that has happened to them that is way too much of a burden for 1 person to carry.***

So, it would seem to me that you

1. stop any abusive situations

2. take care of the brain cooties

3. talk to the "voices" and then let them work things out between themselves

Some people may merge, others may disappear (I think Abi mentioned Ghosts to me at one point..not sure I totally got that). But just getting the "others" to shut up isn't going to fix anything.

Like Panz said, the drugs she is on are helping, but nobody in her continuum has disappeared. So the other personalities are VERY real, and without the stress of the hallucinations and stuff, over time, her system will work together to be healed (if she can get everyone to cooperate..hee hee hee). That may leave her with 3 personalities, 15 personalities or just 1. Abi seems quite happy with her crowd (300ish?? and I have become friends with several...and I do have a soft spot for those littles. They are quite adorable in their little evil genius ways!)

Anyone else have thoughts on this? Since I am not a multi, I am just trying to understand as much as I I can based on what I have been told and what I have read.

*** Alternate Abi theory.... since so many people are completely devoid of ANY personality, SOMEONE had to pick up the slack ;)

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AM I don't believe that dissociation is a mental illness. I think it as a creative coping skill. I say stay away/run from any psychiatrist who tries to give antipsychotics to treat internal voices, but that does not work for someone who is part of a system where one insider wants to see a non-believing shrink.

If Mignon wants to have control and get the medication for hallucinations then how about she be allowed to get the medication for those who are hallucinationg and how about they be the ones to come forward to receive the medication if it does indeed help? Can you let her do that? If the meds are holding you, or any others back, then you can review. Does it really matter what dx is given? You can always go to see somebody who believes in the muliplicity gift and let her play games with those who do not belieive in it. Seems to be how she wants it.

I've heard some psychiatrist say that it is helpful for multies to take meds to reduce anxiety cause anything that helps anxiety helps the system, but that may be getting things backwards. I don't know. Do the moodstabilizing properties of the antipsychotics help any of you with depression to be less deppressed?

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I've heard some psychiatrist say that it is helpful for multies to take meds to reduce anxiety cause anything that helps anxiety helps the system, but that may be getting things backwards. I don't know. Do the moodstabilizing properties of the antipsychotics help any of you with depression to be less deppressed?

hugely helpful... i would give a LOT to have anti anxiety meds right now. help ease up the triggers and flashbacks this time of year. sighs.

abi

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thanks again alll for your advice and help.

A.M., i understand that with a mod hat on you were doing the responsible thing, and that's your job (and i'm glad for it.)

Abifae and Wifezilla, i think you got what i meant a little better. it's a complicated discussion - because there is the issue of medicating the hallucunations, and then the TOTALLY seperate issue of multiplicity being medicated.

i DO NOT believe in medicating multiplicity - medicating resulting symptoms would help, like with anxiety of depression (or hallucinations!), but as a general rule to me it's totally unethical.

i think Abifae was on track with the med thing, and understood what i meant. i don't think she's telling me to garbage my current meds ;)

Lachesis, you asked if the moodstabilizing properties of the antipsychotics help any of you with depression to be less deppressed. well, they do generally make us calmer people - and those of us who are incredibly paranoid become less so. i don't think we should give up the little tiny dose we're on already, it seems to help the system in general.

null0trooper, you asked if it's possible that "Mignon" has a better grasp of the situation than "Rita." god i hope not. that would make us BOTH walking talking hallucinations, since neither of has been here for all thirty-six years hehe.

as a side note, putting our names in quotations makes us seem like we are imaginary, or whimsical. if i put quotes around your name while talking to you, it would seem as if i were doubting your identity, yes? no biggie, just a quirk a lot of us multis have.

what's happened so far is the zyprexa has made me cotton-headed (la la la la, what was i saying?) enough not to worry so much. i don't think the doctor believed mignon because he only gave us a baby dose of zyprexa, stopped the risperdal (yay! periods again!), and he didn't change any of our other meds except ramp up the clonazepam. he wasn't in the mood to be told what to do that day, and no matter how mignon insisted, he wouldn't look her in the eye. so she hasn't got her wish yet anyway. the experiment waits for a more sympathetic (to mignon) doctor, i suppose.

thank you again for trying to help me figure this out. if she finds a new tactic, i'm coming back to ask some more :)

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glad you knew what i meant ;) i'm not good at words very often.

null0trooper, you asked if it's possible that "Mignon" has a better grasp of the situation than "Rita." god i hope not. that would make us BOTH walking talking hallucinations, since neither of has been here for all thirty-six years hehe.

*giggles* maybe we're ALL walking hallucinations. everyone, everywhere. because i'm more real than most people who are the only ones in their head... so if i ain't real, they ain't real! (and dittos on names in quotes. i'm real dammit!)

abi

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