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I went through day two of psychological testing to get to the "bottom" of whats going on with my personality issues.

I had a diagnostic last summer that left me with a diagnosis of Complex PTSD, Cluster-B personality traits, Poly Substance Abuse and the implicit declaration that I am a hypochondriac/psychosomatic of some degree that requires a medically trained professional to separate out my mindfucking with whats really going on.

This was an incredbly confusing diagnosis - especially since at the end of it they said "well, we can't help you any further and we can't really tell you where to go other than that you need alot of psychoanalysis and alot of therapy. But we can't tell you where to get that. Good luck. Bye." and I proceeded to have a massive breakdown. They refused to say either way on whether or not I was even bipolar or cyclothymic or either of my previous diagnosises and also told me I was a frustrating patient and that my involvement with anything online was making me worse and that I needed to completely re-evaluate pretty much everything. And that I was extremely emotionally dysregulated and I needed to have feelings, not biological approaches to explain my dysfunctional situation and that was where I was left.

I had no idea where to go from there, so I just mostly withdrew from everything. I stopped going to therapy and I started drinking my face off. I also started having some weird neurological trip outs - which was annoying as hell because I had also convinced myself absolutely nothing was wrong with me physically, it was ALL psychosomatic and the LAST place I wanted to go was to more doctors ESPECIALLY neurologists who are kind of known as the least tolerant specialists of the hypocondiactically inclined. I also lost my driver's license which has been a real mindfuck - the doctor seemed convinced enough I was having seizures - I was not.

Fast forward to now. I'm getting re-evaluated by the place i'm doing group therapy, because they seem to doubt that I am even borderline.

So who knows. I did an MMPI and it seems to have come back inconclusive.

I did another personality index test today that had a 4-point range scale for every question. Perhaps it will provide a clearer answer, or maybe the MMPI provided something and they want a better answer.

I just have absolutely no idea what to answer with this woman half the time. I'm so jaded and empty all the time.

The group therapy group i'm in says I'm like Data from star trek. They say I talk like a text book, I never give specific answers and speak in generalizations and i'm totally distant. I aparently don't participate in the group, I never laugh at appropriate times or participate in "group social" things. I don't know wtf they are talking about, thats just the way my personality is. I'm not exactly a bundle of joy, i've been called Eeyore since I was a baby.

So anyways. It will be interesting to see what the personality indexes and the fixed interview and friend interview turns up. And the rorschasch. I've NEVER had a good diagnosis.

Not that diagnosises really mean much to me anyways.

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A dx only matters if it helps your treatment. Oh, and insurance likes the codes.

I'm sorry the first place treated you so poorly. It's unconscionable to just dismiss someone without helping them or telling them where to get help. Just because a case is difficult doesn't mean it's not worthy, you know? Luckily there are doctors out there who like to take on the difficult cases, and usually these doctors are pretty good.

Are you happy with the clinic you are at now? Psych tests are only as good as the tester giving them and analyzing them.

I had a bad MMPI and got nothing from it. With my current doc I took the MMPI again and we got loads from it, because he is a better doctor than idiots who tested me the first time, and he looked at more scales on the MMPI than the first testers did.

(The Rorshack is weird, by the way, and that test is VERY dependent upon the tester being good at their job.)

Are you in individual therapy as well? I think it's really important to pair group with individual therapy. I personally, in terms of borderline, got a lot out of transference focused psychotherapy. But I think any therapy where you have a good relationship with your therapist is worthwhile.

As for sorting out what is somatic and what is "real"... the somatic is real, you feel it as if it's real, stress is hard on the body. I think the only way to sort out what disorder is somatic and which is "real" is to get to a place where you have enough mental clarity and your stress is low enough that you don't need to have somatic problems as an outlet for stress. Easier said than done, and I'm not saying I've done this, I'm a somatic mess. I just hope for a day of peace for all of us.

Penny

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A dx only matters if it helps your treatment. Oh, and insurance likes the codes.

I don't have any kind of insurance. I've never been able to get jobs for anything but small companies. I'm a far out genius type with incredibly poor work habits and behavioral skills. I'm a savant type. Totally unable to get past corporate HR and entry screening tests that weed out ... people like me, so it has been my experience. Social skills tests and the like. Seeing that I was an IT guy ... I had no chance. IT places like nice polished kids with social skills, or the normal geek types who show up for work on time and their worst problems are video game addictions and never having girlfriends who particularily challenge their work addictions. I was always a contracter, never made it as far as benefits in any of my placements. Bitter? Just a tad. That $250-400 a month worth of medications right now tends to really kick my butt. My last job was slinging meat part time as a line cook. I will *never* be able to pursue any of my dreams and ambitions in life - I can either be on disability (to afford my meds) and live in an apartment, or have my parents pay for my meds and live on what I can earn. No insurance for me, at least not in the future I can presently envision. I went back into IT for a little while after I got sick, I just could *NOT* hack it. First time large stress came along I behaved *very* badly, acted out, OD'd at work, almost died in a bathroom and that probably ended my chances of ever being a technician again.

I'm sorry the first place treated you so poorly. It's unconscionable to just dismiss someone without helping them or telling them where to get help. Just because a case is difficult doesn't mean it's not worthy, you know? Luckily there are doctors out there who like to take on the difficult cases, and usually these doctors are pretty good.

Ironically that was at a teaching hospital in Toronto that is kind of known as the best place to go for a diagnostic in the area. I'm pretty convinced it wasn't them, it was me. Either I was being difficult or they were having a really bad week. Or I just got a really bad doctor - because the place is pretty well known for not sucking. The fact that i've gotten shrink after shrink telling me there is nothing they can do for me is starting to indicate to me that there is something wrong with me here.

Are you happy with the clinic you are at now? Psych tests are only as good as the tester giving them and analyzing them.

Well, its not really a clinic. I'm in a city which is about 30% serviced of where it should be for psychiatrists. According to what i've been told *ALL* of the psychiatrists in the city who are in public practice are consulting-only. I.e. 5 minutes for med visits *ONLY*. PERIOD. The resident psychiatrist in the place that oversees the patients does everything for that center (about 50 people in various groups I think) AND the psych ward AND works Emerg at probably two hospitals AND private practice ... So I don't expect much there. I know nothing about the quality of the psychologist. I've worked a bit with that psychiatrist in the past, he's tough and blunt but he's just so overworked, overextended and seen so many people in his career that he isn't much good to anyone. Particularily with a case like mine that is layers and layers of self-bullshit all piled on top of another to the point that I don't even know whats going on. I'm not a good classic BP2 type. Theres so much going on its not very obvious. And in reality it comes down to just behaving, right? I see a guy in Toronto ... he's affiliated with the place I had the diagnostic at. I see him next friday. I'm going to try and get taken off topamax. Its likely the only thing effective at controlling my impulse issues but i'm convinced between the topamax AND the risperdol AND the seroquel AND the lamictal the cognitive tradeoff is turning me into a monkey and worsening some of my behavior on the disassociative side.

I had a bad MMPI and got nothing from it. With my current doc I took the MMPI again and we got loads from it, because he is a better doctor than idiots who tested me the first time, and he looked at more scales on the MMPI than the first testers did.

Its going to be interesting to see what comes of this one. I'm going to see if I can get the results and get some MMPI stuff online and read about it. Then again maybe not, because that would mean I can never *take* an MMPI again.

The Rorshack is weird, by the way, and that test is VERY dependent upon the tester being good at their job.)

I took the damn thing and it was incredibly frustrating and afterwards I was like wtf is the point of this?

Are you in individual therapy as well? I think it's really important to pair group with individual therapy. I personally, in terms of borderline, got a lot out of transference focused psychotherapy. But I think any therapy where you have a good relationship with your therapist is worthwhile.

Not really. It was a 2 hour bus ride every week that I got sick of taking. And $80 a week. And the therapist wasn't tough enough on me. So I said screw it. It was going absolutely nowhere. I'm going to see about DBT instead.

As for sorting out what is somatic and what is "real"... the somatic is real, you feel it as if it's real, stress is hard on the body. I think the only way to sort out what disorder is somatic and which is "real" is to get to a place where you have enough mental clarity and your stress is low enough that you don't need to have somatic problems as an outlet for stress. Easier said than done, and I'm not saying I've done this, I'm a somatic mess. I just hope for a day of peace for all of us.

I'm a total somatic mess right now with the amount of anxiety inducing stuff thats happened to me in the last week. I dont know whats up and whats down. Last night my heart was racing so bad i thought I was going to have a heart attack. I haven't been like this in like 8 months. Last week I had IBS for the first time in as long as I can remember. But at the same time, I know its all just psychosomatic so I try to just ignore it and use disassociation for something positive for a change. Or distract myself. I've been fighting that and been aware of it for so long - I was introduced to the concept of psychosomatic stuff when I started getting cluster headaches as a teenager and really took charge of my role in managing it - that its not really a big factor anymore. But its still freakin annoying.

Right now the big issue on my mind is whats really real, whats hypochondria and the irritating factor of the constant implicit shit that keeps coming up that doctors and friends keep challenging - or I have the perception that it keeps being challenged if I'm even sick or not, or to what degree. Ever since that was introduced going back to when a psychiatrist came out and said I don't think you're bipolar, you're just very poorly behaved ... i've been constantly paranoid about this to the point that I don't even want to talk in therapy or clinical settings anymore. I don't want to feel and i've been seriously considering totally going off my meds for about 8 months. Then again, i've got alot of former friends who aren't really on speaking terms with me right now who would say I need more meds.

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I don't know guys, I don't feel like i've been treated badly. And I refuse to ever feel like i'm a victim. Thats not how I work. Ever. If there is a problem the only way to solve it is to take responsibility and determine a course of action.

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I have to make this quick, since I'm trying to be more punctual and my window in which to get lunch is shrinking.

But just because you've been treated badly doesn't mean that you can't take responsibility for your own actions.

The thing about responsibility is that you kind of have to find a balance. There are people who won't take responsibility for anything, for their own actions. And then there are people who take responsibility for everything, for other people's actions. Both of those views are incorrect.

You can only control and be responsible for how you act in a situation. If someone treats you badly, that doesn't diminish your personal responsibility or make you into a victim. But they have to be responsible for their actions... you can't be.

As far as your first post... I read it and I think I'm still digesting. I'm not sure what to say, except that you are exceptionally well-written and I really feel for a lot of what you're going through and admire your ability to be open and blunt.

Okay, I really do have to make myself go get lunch now.

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But just because you've been treated badly doesn't mean that you can't take responsibility for your own actions.

in my humble opinion, i really don't think rage fits in the catagory of not taking responsibility nor is he tipping off the edge of the responsibility scale.

I don't know guys, I don't feel like i've been treated badly. And I refuse to ever feel like i'm a victim. Thats not how I work. Ever. If there is a problem the only way to solve it is to take responsibility and determine a course of action.

i myself am blunt as well,

ana

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Its going to be interesting to see what comes of this one. I'm going to see if I can get the results and get some MMPI stuff online and read about it. Then again maybe not, because that would mean I can never *take* an MMPI again.

don't look it up.

the main thing about the MMPI is that you have to be completley honest otherwise the test comes out as invalid. there are questions that are there simply to see if you are honest, actually. i think the MMPI can be a useful tool. I hope they use it well with you this round.

I took the damn thing and it was incredibly frustrating and afterwards I was like wtf is the point of this?

hahahaha exactly.

Are you in individual therapy as well? I think it's really important to pair group with individual therapy. I personally, in terms of borderline, got a lot out of transference focused psychotherapy. But I think any therapy where you have a good relationship with your therapist is worthwhile.

Not really. It was a 2 hour bus ride every week that I got sick of taking. And $80 a week. And the therapist wasn't tough enough on me. So I said screw it. It was going absolutely nowhere. I'm going to see about DBT instead.

Ideally for DBT you want to do skills in group, and then see a therapist one-on-one once a week who is trained in DBT. I saw one who did DBT and transference focused therapy. This may be totally unfeasable for you. But it is what kicked me in the ass and made me change. A therapist trained in DBT will not let you slide by with poor behavior, and that is important. Plus they can do nice scary things like purposfully trigger you and then walk you through skills. It's really helpful, and it's the model that is supposed to be used according to Linehan's original set up. But, like all things, the ideal is rarely what we get in reality. And, as you're going 4 days a week, you may not need the one-on-one.

Ever since that was introduced going back to when a psychiatrist came out and said I don't think you're bipolar, you're just very poorly behaved ... i've been constantly paranoid about this to the point that I don't even want to talk in therapy or clinical settings anymore. I don't want to feel and i've been seriously considering totally going off my meds for about 8 months. Then again, i've got alot of former friends who aren't really on speaking terms with me right now who would say I need more meds.

I say fuck that therapist. "poorly behaved"? That's not a helpful observation, it's demeaning. I know it's frustrating to not have answers, to feel out of control, to be loosing friends.... but hang in there. Ignore the assholes. Stick with the DBT, get your meds sorted out.

You're active in your recovery, and that is one of the most positive things a person can have going for them. You want to get better and are motivated to work hard to do so.

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RM said

>>I went through day two of psychological testing to get to the "bottom" of whats going on with my personality issues.

I had a diagnostic last summer that left me with a diagnosis of Complex PTSD, Cluster-B personality traits, Poly Substance Abuse and the implicit declaration that I am a hypochondriac/psychosomatic of some degree that requires a medically trained professional to separate out my mindfucking with whats really going on.

This was an incredbly confusing diagnosis - especially since at the end of it they said "well, we can't help you any further and we can't really tell you where to go other than that you need alot of psychoanalysis and alot of therapy. But we can't tell you where to get that. Good luck. Bye." >>

OK, now this makes me wild. How rude, how thoughtless and hurtful of them. Grrrr.

>>and also told me I was a frustrating patient and that my involvement with anything online was making me worse and that I needed to completely re-evaluate pretty much everything. And that I was extremely emotionally dysregulated and I needed to have feelings, not biological approaches to explain my dysfunctional situation and that was where I was left.>>

That is awful. You go in feeling badly and they tell you you have mental illness. Well, duh.

>>Fast forward to now. I'm getting re-evaluated by the place i'm doing group therapy, because they seem to doubt that I am even borderline.

So who knows. I did an MMPI and it seems to have come back inconclusive.>>

IMO,

While evaluation is great, test are super-duper, what matters is your relationship with your therapist. Only that person will know what your real issues are.

>>The group therapy group i'm in says I'm like Data from star trek. They say I talk like a text book, I never give specific answers and speak in generalizations and i'm totally distant. I aparently don't participate in the group, I never laugh at appropriate times or participate in "group social" things. I don't know wtf they are talking about, thats just the way my personality is. I'm not exactly a bundle of joy, i've been called Eeyore since I was a baby.>>

Hey, here is a clue for them. Maybe this is not the right group for you. You state that you don't get the group social things. Perhaps there is a more appropriate group. Maybe you are not suited for a group, or maybe not this group.

Is there a university near you that has a psych dept? At the uni near me, one can get free therapy from a PhD candidate, or virtually free analysis from a PhD who is in school to get their certificate in Pyschoanalysis.

What about a teaching hospital with a psych dept?

You have many diagnoses, and as you have said, you can behave badly. IMO, all of us with MI "behave badly" in our own ways. If we behaved properly in all ways, we would not be MI. So that "behaving badly" diagnosis really gets my goat.

You are clearly smart and thoughtful. And cute, but I did not say that. So you have those going for you. You know you need a team including a medical doctor, a psychiatrist and a top notch therapist who knows both DBT and psychoanalysis. And they all have to work together on your behalf. Oh, and a substance abuse counselor.

You deserve all that. You cannot do it alone, no one could.

There is a psychoanalyticaly based clinic for treating BPD in New York City. Maybe you could reach out to them?

I wish I had more to offer.

pickle

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One thing I might add ... I live in a little city near Toronto, Ontario (near being an hour+ ride away by greyhound NOT commuter bus) that is home to a few large industrial things like Research in Motion and a high tech/engineering university - but absolutely nothing of note in terms of medicine.

I will have to relocate at great expense to be able to pursue any kind of future therapy.

Sadly.

What this basically means is - I will have to either find a job which will allow me to transfer, or I will have to find a university with GREAT beneifts, or I will have to date someone and/or marry into being able to go into therapy that allows me to do long term therapy elsewhere. My family can afford me to do another probably ... year ... of DBT in another city near here - but I don't know if I can afford the sanity to stand a year of living in sticksville putting in time with no other purpose while I do therapy. I want to look into options in Toronto - the only "international" city in my province - and the city that used to be my home - when I had a relationship, a life (of sorts) and a "future" ... and see if I can move back there even if its a gamble on paying $2000 a month on a life for a few months at first for part-time DBT therapy, assuming that, for a few months of DBT therapy will be enough to be me going enough to keep it up with work and thrust forward enough to maintain a lift with few enough crashes to have momentum to provide for a big city apartment, lifestyle and whatnot.

I just can't f*cking take small city anymore. There is no therapy here, there are no opportunities to mention, no arts, no good restaurants, no established social things with attendance of other MI people ... and the like.

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One thing I might add ... I live in a little city near Toronto, Ontario (near being an hour+ ride away by greyhound NOT commuter bus) that is home to a few large industrial things like Research in Motion and a high tech/engineering university - but absolutely nothing of note in terms of medicine.

I will have to relocate at great expense to be able to pursue any kind of future therapy.

Sadly.

What this basically means is - I will have to either find a job which will allow me to transfer, or I will have to find a university with GREAT beneifts, or I will have to date someone and/or marry into being able to go into therapy that allows me to do long term therapy elsewhere. My family can afford me to do another probably ... year ... of DBT in another city near here - but I don't know if I can afford the sanity to stand a year of living in sticksville putting in time with no other purpose while I do therapy. I want to look into options in Toronto - the only "international" city in my province - and the city that used to be my home - when I had a relationship, a life (of sorts) and a "future" ... and see if I can move back there even if its a gamble on paying $2000 a month on a life for a few months at first for part-time DBT therapy, assuming that, for a few months of DBT therapy will be enough to be me going enough to keep it up with work and thrust forward enough to maintain a lift with few enough crashes to have momentum to provide for a big city apartment, lifestyle and whatnot.

I just can't f*cking take small city anymore. There is no therapy here, there are no opportunities to mention, no arts, no good restaurants, no established social things with attendance of other MI people ... and the like.

I hate to say what I am about to say..........but I'm going to say it anyway......hold your breath........I am.......and here goes........

You have me going in circles. I read every post that you put on here and you are making my head spin. You sound like a "litany" of excuses.....sorry but you do. Is there anything that is right with your life? There must be something, somewhere. I can understand your doctors becoming frustrated..........its frustrates me to hear the few blogs you have posted here. It sounds like endless ramblings to me. It sounds like you don't want help or if you do, you have an excuse why it can't happen.

Some of you might not like my saying this......but its just my observation. I may be totally wrong and out of line to say it. Its just that reading these postings have worn me out....you are an exhausting person in my view. Sorry, I don't mean that to sound unkind. Its just how your posts have affected me. Maybe I just exhausted by my own problems.......that could be too.

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Steelmagnolia: In what ways do you think your post will be helpful to ragemaxis? It looks like a flame, and I'm wondering if you did have helping in mind, or if you just wanted to go off on someone whose writing you didn't like. This is not an appropriate place to do the latter.

If you were trying to help in some way, let's talk about ways you can do so more effectively, because what you posted is unlikely to have any effect other than make people shocked at your behavior, and you may not have wanted that.

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Steelmagnolia: In what ways do you think your post will be helpful to ragemaxis? It looks like a flame, and I'm wondering if you did have helping in mind, or if you just wanted to go off on someone whose writing you didn't like. This is not an appropriate place to do the latter.

If you were trying to help in some way, let's talk about ways you can do so more effectively, because what you posted is unlikely to have any effect other than make people shocked at your behavior, and you may not have wanted that.

You are so right. I apologize ragemax. What I said was lacking in tact and I am truly sorry.

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why? its a legitimate observation. i'm flat out negative and I am constantly undermining any future possibility. not entirely sure why ... i've never had much belief that I can succeed in anything. And I engineer things to be that way on some level. Sadly, recognition of this hasn't so far been the key to overcoming it.

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you will find that I am not big on sympathy or cush. i'm pretty hard and practical. I take everything very, very seriously. But I don't get upset by hard criticism in that way - i'm already my own worst critic so other people's stuff isn't that hard on me. Thats allowing yourself to feel like an emotional victim in my opinion.

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you will find that I am not big on sympathy or cush. i'm pretty hard and practical. I take everything very, very seriously. But I don't get upset by hard criticism in that way - i'm already my own worst critic so other people's stuff isn't that hard on me. Thats allowing yourself to feel like an emotional victim in my opinion.

RM,

Not to analyze you online...but

Aside from things that are harmful to you, are there activities that you enjoy in sort of a non-MI, happy way?

Also,

I think it is interesting that criticism from others is not as hurtful to you as your own criticism. For me, I tend to think that I have criticised myself fully, so when someone else makes a criticism that I have not thought of, or that comes as a surprise, I lose all sense of equilibrium and I tend to freak out, in my own way.

Is it your belief that you are much worse of a person than the criticizer even can imagine, so their criticism just indicates how little they know about you?

If this is too personal, I apologize.

pickle

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i'm a little different in that way.

For example. One of the things that I can't change about myself - or at least have a great deal of difficulty with is my ability to communicate with other people and interact socially. I'm very cold, I don't express things facially, I rarely make eye contact. I am partially hearing impaired. I don't often get people's jokes until well after they make them and I am very literal - it is difficult for me to participate in people's "group" discussions and casual sort of things. I was recently aggressively criticized at group therapy in the group setting about these things as me actively not participating in the group and I got extremely upset and defensive about it because I saw it as something that I absolutely cannot change. I can make efforts to "fake it" and nod and make eyecontact (regardless of how difficult) but ... to me it is something I shouldn't have to do, especially in a MI community.

I see that as being alot different than when i'm getting criticism like here. When I get things pointed out which are things which I may have thought of before - or not - I can usually accept that they are legitimate observations. The exception to this is when I greatly dislike the person who is being critical of me - i'm much more likely to react towards them. This is especially the case when i'm being constantly criticized about things which i'm very acceptant of as being problems and are constant problems in my life, but for whatever reasons and the reasons why I am allowing them to still be persistent problems are unclear keep getting pointed out. I get really frustrated when the emphasis is on the symptoms and the surface behaviors and not on the deeper problem.

When it comes to me the issue is two fold. Partly its that I refuse to let other people hurt me- if I detect other people are hurting me, or are even *capable* of hurting me the masochistic part of me says "I won't let you hurt me, watch me HURT ME EVEN WORSE. I won't lose, i'll make myself lose so that I still have control of the situation. I refuse to submit, i'll destroy it all. This happens again and again and again and again and its sickening. I can see it pretty clearly and when I have good periods be very aware and talk about it and do DBT work on it ... but then it keeps rearing its head as a problem. The second part of it is that I relentlessly beat myself up over my own inability to deal with the behavioral problems and cycles. I'm totally aware that I cause my own drama just to be able to wear some sort of shit badge or something totally fucked up from adolescence. I no longer identify on a rational level with tragic heroes and literary figures and the cluster-B kids from school who were "cool" ... and I hate that the same kind of thinking is stuck in my head and get pretty depressed about it. So when other people start pointing it out - I'm already very, very aware of it. People get upset by the fact that i'm so detached and supposedly so negative about it - but its a pretty embedded cycle. I've been actively processing it and working on new systematic approaches to things, constantly setting goals and re-working behaviors for a long time but I still keep going through the cycle of

event; reaction; masochism; depression; regrouping; boredom; seeking new event.

RM,

Not to analyze you online...but

Aside from things that are harmful to you, are there activities that you enjoy in sort of a non-MI, happy way?

Also,

I think it is interesting that criticism from others is not as hurtful to you as your own criticism. For me, I tend to think that I have criticised myself fully, so when someone else makes a criticism that I have not thought of, or that comes as a surprise, I lose all sense of equilibrium and I tend to freak out, in my own way.

Is it your belief that you are much worse of a person than the criticizer even can imagine, so their criticism just indicates how little they know about you?

If this is too personal, I apologize.

pickle

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have a great deal of difficulty with is my ability to communicate with other people and interact socially. I'm very cold, I don't express things facially, I rarely make eye contact

you will find that I am not big on sympathy or cush. i'm pretty hard and practical.

The group therapy group i'm in says I'm like Data from star trek. They say I talk like a text book

I aparently don't participate in the group, I never laugh at appropriate times or participate in "group social" things. I don't know wtf they are talking about, thats just the way my personality is.

Are you sure this is a personality disorder you are dealing with? A few phrases seemed to jump out at me. See below to understand why.

"GILLBERG'S CRITERIA FOR ASPERGER'S DISORDER

1.Severe impairment in reciprocal social interaction

(at least two of the following)

(a) inability to interact with peers

(B) lack of desire to interact with peers

© lack of appreciation of social cues

(d) socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior

2.All-absorbing narrow interest

(at least one of the following)

(a) exclusion of other activities

(B) repetitive adherence

© more rote than meaning

3.Imposition of routines and interests

(at least one of the following)

(a) on self, in aspects of life

(B) on others

4.Speech and language problems

(at least three of the following)

(a) delayed development

(B) superficially perfect expressive language

© formal, pedantic language

(d) odd prosody, peculiar voice characteristics

(e) impairment of comprehension including misinterpretations of literal/implied meanings

5.Non-verbal communication problems

(at least one of the following)

(a) limited use of gestures

(B) clumsy/gauche body language

© limited facial expression

(d) inappropriate expression

(e) peculiar, stiff gaze

6.Motor clumsiness: poor performance on neurodevelopmental examination"

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One other thing stood out...the way you are harder on yourself than anyone else.

When my son (PDD-autistic spectrum) something that is mildly annoying but not a big deal to me (like him slopping jelly all over the counter), pointing out his mistake can cause him to have a total melt down and hit himself if he thinks he was bad or that I am angry with him.

It is possible I may just be seeing things through the filter of "mom with a spectrum kid"...but I don't put much stock in coincidence.

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