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I did a stupid thing today


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I woke up this morning and just decided not to go in to work. Bam! Just like that. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I slept half the day, then I avoided the issue all day by spending money I don't have on things I don't need. Now I am jobless once again. A no-show = termination, and I knew that when I rolled over and went back to sleep.

What the hell is wrong with me???

I'm so not freaking out about it yet, but I know it's going to bite me in the ass sooner or later. I should be feeling bad, but I'm not. I know I should be wondering how I'm gonna pay the bills, but I just am not. I think that mania is sneaking up on me... but I'm not showing any other symptoms...

This isn't going to look good on future job applications.

"So, what happened at your last job?"

"I, um, well, I decided not to go to work one day..."

"Thanks for coming we'll let you know."

"damn"

I'm so not looking forward to the depression I know is gonna hit me sooner or later when I realize the bills are piling up once again and I'm not going to be able to pay them.

I guess I'm not asking for advice. But, why the hell would I do this very stupid thing??? Somehow I have this inkling that I'll just go out and find another job. Just like that. Logically I know that will not happen, but it's there, this feeling that another job will just fall into my lap. Arrggghhh! It's so frustrating when logic and feelings just don't agree.

Someone needs to give me a good swift kick.

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Yeah, I'm there. 21 jobs in 22 years. Lose a job? Np sweat, I'll get another - arrogance and hypo bullshit. Well now that's gone. Meds have taken away the spark/arrogance/bullshit, so I'm struggling. But I know where you're coming from.

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Been there, done that--one day left a job, climed in a van and went off to South Dakota for a month.

But always--"hell, I can find another job in a heartbeat" cause I could. And I was in it for the fun, and the high was great. Of course, the bottom fell out in SD, and we barely got home, and I wanted to kill myself and sorta tried, my ex and I had a knock-down drag out fight on the side of the Interstate, etc. etc. What goes up must come down. Or, as my current hubby says when I get sort of hyper, "Gravity is not just a good idea, its the law"

But no matter what your mental status, eventually the day comes when allthose "back up skills" aren't there any more--out of date, too old, whatever.

I know about dreading the downs, too--I had a really almost manic day last week, and kept having flashes all day---"tomorrow is gonna suck big time"--and it did. Whats wrong with you? Same thing thats wrong with all of us--we have "impaired decision -making skills", kiddo. We are Mentally Interesting--and us BP folk can get manic or near so in a flash (and, if you're like me, go down in a flash as well)

I'd call my pdoc and check in--this sounds like the beginning of what may be a really unpleasant little freak-out. I hope for your sake it levels out--but I also know that lots of time, yu have to go way up before you can come way down--and your doc needs to know thats happeneing, especially if it hasn't happened in a while.

Keep in touch-- what kind of job did you have???

china the eternally unemployed who got too old for all the backup jobs/skills--yes, it does happen--

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just don't list this job on your resume. only list the ones where you'll get positive references. your resume is an advertising brochure, not a confessional ;)

Agreed. I only list the jobs I've been at for 3 months or more, cause there have been so many temp jobs, crappy jobs like telemarketing, jobs to tide me over until I get something better. Don't worry so much about a 3-week job. Do the temp thing, because if you don't like the job you can switch. You can tell the temp agency you want something new but you can't take anything for a couple of days. They don't care, or at least that's what I've been lead to believe.

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I think it's funny that everyone is recommending doing the temp thing. ahaha! If you could see my resume, you'd see that the majority of my experience is temp work. It's getting hard to explain to perspective employers why I do the "temp thing" so often and for so long. I was on the list at four temp services when I found this job, but not getting any work for OVER A MONTH!!! ;)

If it wasn't for the fact that I got a good sized tax return, I'd be out of house and home. But, I guess that I can go back on some lists again...

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