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Guest Guest_Alissha_*

I've been off of med leave for all of two weeks and I will be missing work already. I'm hypo as all hell and CANNOT sleep. It's close to 4 am and I'm supposed to work at 7. Even hypo I know it will be very bad if I go to work, I'm so anxious and irritable that I might lose control. I can see myself yelling at snarky coworkers or getting sidetracked and hurt. Worse yet, I can envision myself spacing out and getting someone else hurt.

I'm screwing up a job that is an excellent reference opportunity for me. Furthermore, I'm screwing up a job that I desperately need. I can't make it without a job, and if I go on med leave again it will take two weeks for EI to kick in.

This whole episode was triggered by my living situation. The duplex I rent has just been sold and the new owner will be demolishing the place. We found out today that he would like us out by the end of this month if we possibly can arrange it. Of course, we'll get financial compensation but I really don't want to move. I hate packing and arranging and reorganizing. I hate trying to find a place that doesn't have a problem with my pets. I hate the fact that we'll probably get a place with my brother and his girlfriend in order to save money. Basically, right now I hate everything.

II need to see a pdoc, but my appointment isn't until the 22nd. That's nearly one month after I went to the ER because I was suicidal. Living in a semi-remote area rocks.

I really want to go to sleep, and I can't help but think that a zyprexa would accomplish that nicely. I'm completely nonfunctional when I take zyprexa so I"m not sure what to do. No sleep and try to tough out a work day, medicate myself in to oblivion, or hope to get some natural sleep sometime later today. I want Corey home so that I can be comforted. I want to hurt myself, but I don't want to be hurt. How did I get so horribly off track? This isn't who I thought I could be.

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I've been off of med leave for all of two weeks and I will be missing work already. I'm hypo as all hell and CANNOT sleep. It's close to 4 am and I'm supposed to work at 7. Even hypo I know it will be very bad if I go to work, I'm so anxious and irritable that I might lose control. I can see myself yelling at snarky coworkers or getting sidetracked and hurt. Worse yet, I can envision myself spacing out and getting someone else hurt.

I'm screwing up a job that is an excellent reference opportunity for me. Furthermore, I'm screwing up a job that I desperately need. I can't make it without a job, and if I go on med leave again it will take two weeks for EI to kick in.

This whole episode was triggered by my living situation. The duplex I rent has just been sold and the new owner will be demolishing the place. We found out today that he would like us out by the end of this month if we possibly can arrange it. Of course, we'll get financial compensation but I really don't want to move. I hate packing and arranging and reorganizing. I hate trying to find a place that doesn't have a problem with my pets. I hate the fact that we'll probably get a place with my brother and his girlfriend in order to save money. Basically, right now I hate everything.

II need to see a pdoc, but my appointment isn't until the 22nd. That's nearly one month after I went to the ER because I was suicidal. Living in a semi-remote area rocks.

I really want to go to sleep, and I can't help but think that a zyprexa would accomplish that nicely. I'm completely nonfunctional when I take zyprexa so I"m not sure what to do. No sleep and try to tough out a work day, medicate myself in to oblivion, or hope to get some natural sleep sometime later today. I want Corey home so that I can be comforted. I want to hurt myself, but I don't want to be hurt. How did I get so horribly off track? This isn't who I thought I could be.

Well, if you know you're getting high and want it to stop ot slow....I would suggest the Olanzapine (Zyprexa). Maybe call in sick from work...I'm sure you can think of some excuse or other.

erm...thats about all I have to say right now ;)

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Definitely take something sooner rather than later. Nip this hypo in the bud. Being comatose is preferable to possibly screwing up your job for good. Do you have the zyprexa or do you need it from your pdoc?

As for the "This isn't who I thought I'd be", that sounds like a question for a competent therapist. Do you have one?

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Yes, keep posting as long as you need to and get your emotions and issues out. It's very therapeutic. I'm on zyprexa (among others) and I couldn't sleep without it. I do take it at night and that eliminates much of the zombieness. When do you take yours? I think if I were to take mine in the morning, i would be a drooling vegetable. ALso, do you have any benzos to help with situations like this? When I'm anxious and/or manic, I take my ativans and things usually come down to manageable until I can sleep it off or whatever. Thanks for sharing. Let us know how you are doing.

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Well nothing like the fun of short notice moves.

Being manic/hypo is an URGENT situation that warrants an immediate call to the pdoc. Tell them exactly what's going on. You should expect quick response from the pdoc like either coming in to the office today or tomorrow, or a med change. If you don't get a response then go to the ER. Mania/hypo/mixed states are dangerous, and not something that you should be expect to suffer through waiting for your next scheduled appointment.

best, a.m.

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Just one more day until the pdoc appointment. I can hold on until then, or at least I think I can. I'm really sick of the rapid cycling and my near constant GI side effects from the meds. Tonight I feel depressed and sorry for myself, but (of course) I can't sleep.

I really appreciate everyone's responses, it's nice to not feel so alone. Very few people in my real life are good at dealing with my freak outs, and I don't even try to talk to them anymore. I wish I could just say screw it all and start over in a new place, but rationally I know my problem isn't the people I know or the place I live.

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I'm not going to repeat what everybody else said above. Going hypo/manic is common with the increasing daylight this time of year (at least for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere).

Even though heat (and I live in a HOT climate, it's already above 80F for daytime highs here) tires me completely out, I'm feeling the hypomanic mood trying to break through. I'm surviving just peachy (pun intended as a clue to my location) sleeping midnight to 7 AM, and normally I need waaaaay more sleep than that.

I agree that if hypomania is going to really interfere with your work life, that you should "go into crisis mode" as I call it (it's not as scary as it seems) and take the right PRN meds as suggested by your pdoc.

For example, much like you, if my hypo is going into hypo/mixed/irritable/silicovaginal, I have a stash of Zyprexa on hand... 5mg/day for 2-3 days (though I don't get along with the stuff in terms of long-term treatment).

...and about moving... I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT as well. During a severe bout of encephalitis last year, my boss asked me if I wanted to move out of town and go stay with my parents up North and try and fix the problem. (The other option was a 2-week leave of absence, which I did take.) My boss came to this country in 1978 (in the very city we're both in now), lived in two apartments until 1986, bought a house, and switched houses in 1994, where he still resides with his family. He's moved 4 times in the past 29 years. One move was international... the rest were less than 5 miles apiece.

...and he doesn't understand that it is fairly difficult to pack up one's entire life and move (as I did in June 2004, January 2005, August 2005, March 2006, and will be doing in May 2007).

...anyways, much sympathy and best of luck in the moving. It sucks, I know. Maybe you could channel your hypomania into getting your stuff up packed together? I don't know. It'd be a convenience at least, check with your tdoc.

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