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How long will it take to prove myself


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Its been a year since my last hospitalization. And in this year's time I've been extremely stable. I've taken my medication as prescribed. I've gone to therapy every week without any problems. I've shown up for all of my psychiatrist appointments. I've even gone back to school including moving onto campus, becoming active on the student government, and making the dean's list. In the past year I have not had a single manic/hypomanic or depressive episode. I've had up days and down days but not episodes that warrented interventions or changes in medication or even calls to the psychiatrist or whatever. In essence I've had normal mood fluctuations but not episodes of bipolar/schizoaffective disorder. I have not been paranoid, hallucinated, or any of that in over a year.

I've made verbal contracts with all of my doctors/therapists that I will not go off of my medication and I do not intend to go off of my medication anytime in the future. I know the value of my medication.

But even with all of this in account I was at the Psychiatrist's office today and she said "Well I just dont' know when the next time you're going to flip out on me is going to be" so I cant' push you out to more than every 6 weeks.

And I'm thinking thanks for the vote of confidence. Here I've literally worked my butt off to get my life together and she's still thinking that I'm going to flip out at any moment.

Anyone have any advice for how I can deal with this? I dont' want to switch Psychiatrists because other than this I generally think she has done an excellent job with my medications etc.

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I'd be pretty taken aback if my psychiatrist said that to me. I get the meaning, but saying it like that is pretty unnecessary and sort of insulting.

What makes your psychiatrist say that? Did she tell you any reasons for her concern? In her defense: in the grand scheme of things, a year really isn't that long. She may just be waiting to see if you are truly at a point of stability or in between episodes. She might be waiting to see if you have break through symptoms, if the stress of school will eventually get to you, many things.

The only way you can really know is to ask her exactly what concerns her, though. I see my Pdoc about every six weeks now, but I think if I was doing better than I wouldn't see him as often. Probably go to every 2 months, than every three or something.

Definately ask for very specific reasons. There may be something that you aren't seeing and she is. She should be able to tell you.

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All eternity, or that's what it feels like sometimes, though I can't explain your pdoc's attitude. Every day we don't freak out is just another day we didn't freak out: it's no guarantee we won't freak out tomorrow. That's part of the burden we have to bear compared to normals - they don't have to prove they're not going to freak out, we can't prove we won't.

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it is obviously your goal to only have to see your pdoc every 6 weeks instead of every month. why not share that with her, share your accomplishments with her like you did with us, and ask her if you can maybe work together on 5 weeks? maybe if you both give and take she'll feel more comfortable and so will you.

personally, even after over a year of no hospitalizations and RELATIVE stability (not total, just relative), i still WANT to see the pdoc monthly. i was seeing him twice a month for awhile. he wants to do 6 weeks and i won't do it.

seeing the pdoc is not a bad thing (unless you hate your pdoc i guess). think of it as she thinks of it- a necessary precaution for you against going back to where you were. you can keep the accomplishments rolling with the right treatment, and she's there to make sure you get it. she probably has an interest towards all of her patients that they remain well and wants the best to happen.

i'd say if you feel offended by what she said or how she put it, let her know. just tell her that you've accomplished so much and "flipping out" isn't something you like to hear, and isn't something you see yourself doing anytime soon.

that's a tricky one to handle (letting her know you were hurt). i'm bad at that. just listen to other people here and do what they say. i'm bad at that! ;)

loon

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While I disagree with your pdocs choice of words, I understand her concern. Bipolar episodes can happen suddenly, at any time, as you probably know. You will most likely have to adjust your meds at some point, as breakthrough episodes are common. You should tell your doc that the choice of words insulted you, as you've worked very hard to get to this point. Seeing her every 6 wks is a good idea, because at least then you'll be a "regular" patient and won't have trouble with care in an emergency. That's my take on it. Congrats on your stability, I know it's tough to come by.

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