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It was probably a mistake to go out drinking last night with friends b/c naturally I feel ill and depressed today.

I am so sad. I was dumped recently. This happened right before my therapist went on vacation. My doc is the best, though, and called me right before he left.

I feel that I am not able to attract and keep love in my life. I'm insecure and people don't seem to find that attractive. The one person I have that I really love and trust and respect and admire and all of those good things is my therapist. But of course I can't tell him how I feel and there's no point anyway b/c as we all know it can't go anywhere. But my appreciation for him goes so deep that if I even just think about him not being there or moving away I will cry. I am so pathetic--the one person I feel closest to of course is one I have a one-way, doctor-patient relationship with. I meet a million guys in real life and it never goes anywhere.

Anyway, I'm really down so I could use some words of encouragment.

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Aww, don't be down on yourself. If I remember correctly, you wanted to break up with this guy too, didn't you? That shows you value yourself enough to know when you aren't being treated well in spite of your insecurities.

You know, I think depression will always find some "flaw" or disappointment in our lives to latch on to and then convince us that things will never get better. For you as with a lot of women I think, it's about relationships. For me, even though I am female it's about jobs and careers. If it weren't for either of those I'm sure it would be something else.

I'm sure that one day you will find the right guy for you. But as your last relationship shows, it takes two to make a relationship work. Don't blame yourself for things not working out.

I think it's pretty normal to have feelings for your therapist as far as that goes. Just remember that this is his job--he may not be exactly the same outside of his work. I'm sure he's played a part in some of his breakups too.

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I think it's only natural for you to feel extremely close to your therapist. He hears your deepest thoughts and fears and stuff that you wouldn't or don't tell other people in your life, probably. His entire purpose is to make you feel better.

It may be a doctor-patient relationship, but I don't think it's entirely one-way. He obviously cares about you, as well, since he called you right before he left. It may not be a romantic relationship... but it's not just one-way. Also... your feelings are pretty common- lots of people have feelings like that for their therapists.

I think the hardest thing to do and the hardest advice to hear about love is that it does come when you least expect it. When you're not out scouting around every guy and putting pressure on them to be "the one." But when you're lonely and depressed, it's hard not to do that... not to come off as really needy or insecure.

The drinking maybe wasn't a good idea, but it was St. Pat's... who can really blame ya? I guess it's something to chalk up to a lesson learned.

Being dumped is hard.... it's hard for everybody. Even when the relationship clearly wasn't working. It's okay to feel shitty about it.

I hope your day gets better...

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I agree that love happens when you aren't expecting it to. Try to fill your life with things that you enjoy, it can be difficult to do this when depressed of course, but at least do one nice thing for yourself everyday. It sounds cheesy, but you'll feel a lot better than if you did nothing, although I know motivation may be lacking, at least make an attempt to involve yourself in things you like (or liked when you weren't depressed.) I hope your mood lifts soon.

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Thanks, everyone.

I really feel that I want to take a break from dating right now. My doctor seems to think I'm doing great and feels that I should keep at it. However, emotionally, I just really need a break.

I have been making so much progress lately...it's actually scary. Things don't get me down the way they used to. Even this breakup...I got over it pretty quickly and haven't internalized all of the bad feelings and blamed myself as I usually would. However, it takes so much energy to get to know ppl. and then have it not work out. I want to focus on "me" for a bit.

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