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Today's fucking Crisis Team wd not put me in hospital


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I'm so angry I want to cut myself, take an over dose and say fuck you. This fucking system is insane. My mum is going to pay for me to go privately, and surprise surprise my pdoc call to say he can see me tomorrow!! I threatend to sue the Crisis Tem for their promising to get me inot hosp and then the next day saying he shouldn't have said that.

So I have to sit and wait to go up to surgery to see a doc to get a private referral as I don't trust my NHS pdoc one bit!!!!

BASTARDS...I'm coming back to america but first someone has to assassinate Bush for me!!!

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Hold out until 2008. If a republican wins again (unless it is Rudy Guiliani who I love) I'll be right there with you, sticking needles in my eyes. To agree with what Unreg said a few days back, "WHat the HELL is wrong with your country???" ;) At least your mom will pay for a private hospital.

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Depending on the kind of therapy you're getting, it's not uncommon to try and keep individuals with bpd out of the hospital.

If you made a suicide attempt to try and gain admittance, hanging yourself while in the hospital, they were right to deny it to you.

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Hold out until 2008. If a republican wins again (unless it is Rudy Guiliani who I love) I'll be right there with you, sticking needles in my eyes. To agree with what Unreg said a few days back, "WHat the HELL is wrong with your country???" ;) At least your mom will pay for a private hospital.

Just found out there are no private hospitals in my area to be referred to. Gotta go see the NHS pdoc tomorrow.

Depending on the kind of therapy you're getting, it's not uncommon to try and keep individuals with bpd out of the hospital.

If you made a suicide attempt to try and gain admittance, hanging yourself while in the hospital, they were right to deny it to you.

FYI fuckwit, I strangled myself well before the Crisis Team got there and I think know there was any chance of gaining addmitance to a psych hosp!!!!!!!! And THEY were the ones that were GOING TO ADMIT ME. THE ONES THAT CAME THIS MORNING TO MY HOUSE DENIED ME. I have just seen a GP and she said that what they did was wrong also.

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Depending on the kind of therapy you're getting, it's not uncommon to try and keep individuals with bpd out of the hospital.

If you made a suicide attempt to try and gain admittance, hanging yourself while in the hospital, they were right to deny it to you.

And mr Christian fucking Republic of TN, just so you'll feel better the next time I "try" to commit suicide for any reason I wll make damn sure I do it right. And credit you for it. ASSHOLE!!!

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Vivi,

I understand that you are in pain right now, but trying to commit suicide to get admission isn't going to do you any favours, it will just make medical services more suspicious of you. Dealing crisis teams is stressful when they won't admit you (I have been there) but you can't just go around acting out because then they stop taking you seriously, far better to try to communicate with them and the other services around. Have you let the crisis team outline what they want to do for you, and how they want to treat you? You might want to give them a chance rather than write them off right away.

AGAIN FOR YOUR FUCKING CLARIFICATION I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF ON SUNDAY TO KILL MYSELF WHICH PART OF KILL MYSELF DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND????

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i think we have a misunderstanding here.

vivi,

if you were in dialectical behavioral therapy, which i'm assuming you are not, it is very common for the treating doctor to do anything possible to avoid having their patient hospitalized. it is a part of the theraputic model to try to validate emotions but not validate acting out in self-harming ways on those emotions. velvet elvis did not mean to offend you by saying this, had you been in dbt, his post might have been a logical explanation for what happened.

i am sorry you are having such a rough time of things.

i don't know what you want people to say in response to your suicide attempt. clearly you are not getting the feedback you want, and i'm sorry, but cursing at people isn't going to solve that.

no one is trying to minimize what you have done. believe it or not, a lot of us have been there, and perhaps that makes us sound as if we are not taking you seriously. karuna was trying to give you rational advice about crisis teams, she wasn't saying that you aren't in a dangerous place.

please take a deep breath before you reply. i understand you are in a lot of pain right now, more pain than words can describe, but lashing out at people here is not going to solve anything.

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I have officially never been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 2 or and other number. I have officially never been diagnosed with Borderline PD. I find a lot of similarities but I DO NOT GO ROUND FAKING SUICIDE ATTEMPTS TO GET INTO HOSPITAL. AGAIN, WHICH PART OF THIS DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND???

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this is what we have PMs for. kindly PM me if you have personal issues with me. i am going to merge this post in with your other thread. please do not start a new thread called "to penny century" or "to ___" it will be deleted.

as to the content of your post, how am i to know that your sig line, which states that you have "borderling PD" is not an official diagnosis?

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I'm sorry VE offended you Vivi, but I don't think it was his intention. No one was accusing you of faking a suicide attempt or doing it for attention. A couple of people just misunderstood what you were trying to say. Penny Century's post explains it well: IF you had done it for attention because of borderline, it is not good to reinforce those kind of behaviors. But that doesn't appear to be what you did.

I'll forgive you for blowing up because you obviously feel so terrible and things like that happen sometimes. But you shouldn't be surprised by the negative reaction to get when you attack people. People don't like being attacked obviously.

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Hey Vivi, I'm hoping maybe things are getting sorted out today, or at least looking a little better. I can understand how angry and frustrated you've been getting, but please try to remember that the people here are only trying to help/offer advice based on their own experiences. I know it's really hard when you're furious and feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall, but trying to explain to the mental health peeps how you're feeling and why is more productive than displaying extreme behaviours that might be misinterpreted (which seems to be what VE did). The only way the professionals can help is if you try to help them understand what's going on with you - and they are trying to help, even if it doesn't always feel like it!

Keep hanging in there, keep posting, remember that we are all trying to give you our support. Keep us updated.

xx

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I'm not going to offer any advice, but i will validate one thing. There is a lot of what is called "borderline bashing" among professionals. These are difficult patients and many professionals assign blame to the patient. Actually, most professionals don't really understand bpd and so what they do not understand they decide is faking an illness. they do this with medical illness too, if they can't diagnose you, you must not be ill.

the mental health profession has let down a lot of people, and borderline bashing is real, it exists and it is wrong.

R

good point River. The countertransference of health professionals is really a negation of the whole concept of 'duty of care'.

How are things for you now Vivi?

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Still at home. Saw pdoc yday and he's not going to do anything because he agrees with me that since I was happy in Kansas City USA I should plan to go back which I was going to do anyway.

So if you will all forgive me for my crazy rantings earlier (I don't know what came over me) then I might need some help with resources once I get over there.

BTW I feel like I have braindamage? Slow walking, speaking, thinking, short term memory problems, putting cereal in fridge and milk in cupboard!!! Will this go away??

Viv

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I'm not going to offer any advice, but i will validate one thing. There is a lot of what is called "borderline bashing" among professionals. These are difficult patients and many professionals assign blame to the patient. Actually, most professionals don't really understand bpd and so what they do not understand they decide is faking an illness. they do this with medical illness too, if they can't diagnose you, you must not be ill.

the mental health profession has let down a lot of people, and borderline bashing is real, it exists and it is wrong.

R

So well said...btw 1 in 10 Borderlines SUCCESSFULLY commit suicide...yup, that's 1 out of 10. I am BP, recently diagnosed Borderline.

I have attemted suicide twice...bisected my wrist vein open, about 4 inches long (I'm not a cutter) chickened out, called 911. You know you've done "a good job" when the ambulance attendant keeps saying, "holy shit" and you need two long layers of stitches.

The second time (all planned) I washed down a 30 day supply of Seroquel, plus abottle of something else I dont remember, with a 1/5 of Bourbon. I ended up on life supportand in a coma for 5 days, with aspiration pneumonia...I wasn't f-ing around...I wanted OFF THE DAMN RIDE...I do not hysterically run around threatening suicide to get attention...

BTW, Vivi was in the states then and was at my bedside EVERYDAY I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. I know her well, and I know how deeply she has been suffering for a long time-that DAMN SYSTEM over there is enough to make you want to rip all your hair out. We webcam nearly everyday and I have seen her, though depressed and despondent, TRYING EVERYDAY to get help. Living with her mum is worse than anything Alice experienced when she fell down the rabbit hole, psychologically.... Viv has never tried to commit suicde before, and is not just a "neurotic Borderline just looking for a little attention."

There is definately a stigma around Borderlines, and many assumptions made...I am just discovering this as I try to assimilate my own BPD diagnosis, and question my own past assumptions.

I attended my first DBT Therapy group this past Monday, happily, a friendly and very welcoming group of women...

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