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Ritual abuse of a kind and adult alters


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;):):cussing: I am trying to find more information on people who suffered ritual or ritual like (male shamanistic?) abuse as an adult and have adult alters from the time period. My ex was extremely abusive and tho' I remember the general nature of our "relationship" I am missing memories from '81-'82 through '87. Some of the flash backs from that time have hit me in the last week due to an extremely inflamed tooth reminding me of several broken and cracked jaws. Memories of being cuffed around, beat, demeaned and forced to have sex with other "Masculine shaman power" men as part of some patriarchal-shamanistic thing. I'm kind of unclear as to all of the details. It was supposed to be "sacrificing" the female principal to the male. Teaching young women to subject and except any male who wanted them, Letting the male "power" flow through you and into the earth. And then there was just being loaned out to other "brothers"...etc......for trade in kind

I know that this is vague, but things are unclear. Ex is back at it with another "Divine Receptical" and his cave bear shaman thing. Went to his web site (idiot me) and feel sick (no I won't disclose his name) and dizzy.

I'm going to go look for some useful sites, but it has me really upset, and I just need to say it out.

Panz, Nazira and all of the silent ones are really upset and freaked already for needing to go to the dentist tomorrow, Myradeth is on a rant like normal. Gia is on a hating men rant and I am confused. I know that I came into being at this time along with many others, and I need help with how to deal with it all.

Part of me wants to try and stop him and all of this male cult thing, but my guts are warning me to stay away. Far away.

At first it was like a game. Even though he wouldn't let me have any contact with friends or family and told me it was to keep me "pure", I did this kind of gypsy-witch thing. I read palms, tarot cards, did "channeling" etc ... then came the rituals and the sex . The submission of my entire self to what ever he said or wanted. Mostly he liked to watch as other men had sex with me. I got bashed around a lot because I didn't submit...later I was just too scared to fight....sometimes it was the shaman thing, other times I was traded for goods etc.

I have run into other patriarchal domination shamen men, so I know he didn't invent it.

I'm Devonny, Panz is here but she is letting me tell because I remember more

I think we are all scared. Please, what is this cult called?

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i don't know what the cult is called at all. i was never in anything after age twenty, but was in various cults all growing up. i know my dad is still involved for sure.

but i wanted you to know i'd read your post and am here if you want to talk.

i'd say stay away from the ex and the site until you are in a very stable place (say five or ten years from now) if you do decide to go back and try to find ways to stop such things. at this point you'll only hurt yourself.

sending you lots of support!

abi

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i dont know the name but i am sorry you did get triggered and please do be careful if you go looking. please listen if somebody inside says stop then please stop. you got to go real slow with us kids cause bad things might happen if you go too fast.

bye from us kids

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Part of me wants to try and stop him and all of this male cult thing, but my guts are warning me to stay away. Far away.

I'm Devonny, Panz is here but she is letting me tell because I remember more

I think we are all scared. Please, what is this cult called?

Usually it's not so much an organized "cult" as "people who know people who are into that", whatever that[/] may be. In this case,

the shamanic trappings are only used to bring additional psychological drama to the overall abuse.

With all the problems you have been dealing with, the very best thing you can do is to stay as far away as you can from anything

to do with that person and his associates. If you feel you just have to do *something* take a photo of the dude, stick it between two

pieces of mirror superglued facing each other, and bury it somewhere well away from your own property.

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Null got it in one. i was trying to say the same, but couuldn't find the right words.

that groups sounds less like a formal cult than a loosely organized gang who are all into the same thing.

my take is that they have a need for power/control, and when they heard about male/female power, they twisted it to meet their own needs. the magickal practitioners i know would *not* consider that the proper way to assimilate female energy or express male energy. (god, i just used the 'k'!).

my advise (from someone who does do power and submission work) is to stay away. leave it be for a while, until you are all strong enough to 'do something' and to decide what that 'something' is.

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You guys are right. Now is not the time to be come the masked avenger. It's hard to watch him get out of prison and do the same shit.

Regular sex games, even extreme sub/dom stuff isn't what these guys are into

Some of us get gung-ho to do something to make us feel better

but this is not it and really not the time

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i have quite a bit of experience with 'alternative' religions. i used to go to wiccan events, was in the oto, etc.

and what you described has nothing at all to do with spirituality or magick, or anything 'good'. it's just abuse dressed up in religion. it happens in all religions. there are ppl out there who will have a rough road next life.

imho, you should stay far far away from those idiots. there is nothing there that will make your life better.

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Most of us have faith in a myriad of powers. My favorite for getting through all of this is dancing Shiva and Kali. I have a lot of Buddist leanings, but in truth I'm a pantheistic bog witch child. There are parts of me that want confrontation and are quite the vigilantes (Devonny, Gia etc.) but most of us have the animal sense of danger and we fade off, which I am greatful for. The munchkins in here are really good at playing coyote and fading into the tall grass. We have a lot of opening of closets and healing before we are strong enough not to be just well-trained first class victims again. Thank all of you for the concerne. It means so much to me. A lot of times I dont feel like I mean very much to anyone and that Im just another whiny victim. So it really makes me feel like a person to be thought of. Thank you

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Most of us have faith in a myriad of powers. My favorite for getting through all of this is dancing Shiva and Kali. I have a lot of Buddist leanings, but in truth I'm a pantheistic bog witch child.

we run the gambot between buddhist, and "pantheistic bog witch child" which is by far the best description of our eclectic pagan-ness i've ever heard. *grin* hell, there are even a couple christians in here. they follow more the same quaker style as my adopted sister and mom lol.

There are parts of me that want confrontation and are quite the vigilantes (Devonny, Gia etc.) but most of us have the animal sense of danger and we fade off, which I am greatful for. The munchkins in here are really good at playing coyote and fading into the tall grass.

yea for primal senses! our littles play wolf pups more than coyotes, but fading is a strong skill!! go littles!

We have a lot of opening of closets and healing before we are strong enough not to be just well-trained first class victims again.

definitely. we're glad you know that. we're only now starting to learn what it really means to live and not just be a survivor and waiting victim. it's hard. it's so different from how we were raised.

Thank all of you for the concerne. It means so much to me. A lot of times I dont feel like I mean very much to anyone and that Im just another whiny victim. So it really makes me feel like a person to be thought of. Thank you

nah. if you were another whiny victim, we wouldn't visit your posts every time we see your name somewhere ;)

and we have very good, discerning, taste. so you know we must be right in liking you.

abigail

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if you were another whiny victim, we wouldn't visit your posts every time we see your name somewhere and we have very good, discerning, taste. so you know we must be right in liking you.

Exactly!

(Abi got it right again...even if she can't use her autism super powers to get us winning lotto tickets. Apparently her only super powers are super-hearing and super-friend-making!)

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