Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Mania saves the day?


Recommended Posts

As I've said on this board, I'm enduring so much anxiety due to my finances and GAD...

But last night I started to feel a relief, the twinges of mania starting up. A wild desire to fight the power, find dignity, find relief-

I feel like I"m a hostage to my anxiety. It controls my biorhythims (sp) and keeps me up at night! I know we've all been there!

But my question to you other BPs is: Is your mania a defense mechanism against stress and depression? Does it start up at the hopeless times? Does your body turn to mania to relieve the pain?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When my mania hits me at first, I'm like, YAY!!!!!!!!!  All the artistic abilities come rushing at me.  I'm so happy.  I get things done.  No anxiety.

Then...after a few weeks, the mania becomes not so controlled.  The lack of sleep makes me a mean sonofabitch.  I lash out at everyone.  They get scared of me and personally, I don't care if they do or don't run for the hills.  I tend to not give a shit about how things look around my house.  I still keep care of myself.  My grandfather wouldn't.  He wouldn't shower or bathe for months.  YUCK!  God that man stunk!

I tend to freak out over the stupidist things.  I can't sit still. My thoughts come at me so fast I can't keep up with them.  I sleep two maybe four hours a night or day, depending on when I feel like lying down.  I even scare my poor cats at times because they even piss me off.  I tend to become anti-social...whereas when I first become manic, I'm a social butterfly.

I'm just now coming down and now I'm rapid cycling.  This is the hardest part for me to deal with.  And on top of all this, I'm a Borderline, and that's definitely NOT good.  Because when I'm aggitated with myself, I tend to want to hurt myself.  Whether it's hittting myself, punching a wall, screaming in a pillow, or...as I hate to mention this, after three years of recovery, cut myself.  It's a crazy roller coaster of emotions I'm riding all the time and I wish to god it would just come to an end.  Not saying I'm about ready to end my life...that's certainly not the case.  I'm not suicidal.  I may say I want to die, but I want to live more than anything.  I just hate being unstable.

*sighs*  I just wish my body could handle meds.  I've been on so many meds that won't work with me that it's....welll, I don't know.  I feel like I'm a hopeless case that my Pdoc just doesn't know what to do for me.  I don't even know what to do for me.

Well, I must go and get ready to go up to my parents house.

I shall talk to everyone later.  I want to tell you all that you're a great bunch of people and personally, since I've joined here, I haven't been welcomed with open arms ever.  Thanks!

Elizabeth

P.S.  If my potty mouth does ever offend anyone, just tell me and I'll tone it down.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But my question to you other BPs is: Is your mania a defense mechanism against stress and depression? Does it start up at the hopeless times? Does your body turn to mania to relieve the pain?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I've had the same theory myself! Case in point, I was pretty pumped one day, talking a mile a minute and I chose this moment to make a very upsetting phone call to my credit card company (you can guess the story there) and received only very bad bad options and news. Upon hanging up, that's when I really lost it and became agonizingly ecstatic. I felt like a live battery!...and yes, it always starts up after a stretch of depression, like I'm sneaking off behind my back to have some FUN! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh I LOVE being manic when I get those phone calls.  It's like...YAY, I can actually defend myself when these jerks call me.  Example:  Hi, we're offering you...I'm sorry, I'm not interested...but this is a great deal....I said, I'm NOT interested...but you haven't heard what we're offering...and I SAID, I AM NOT INTERESTED.  The state of PA has a rule of thumb...NO means NO.  You say it once and that is THAT.  NOW take my phone number off your list.

When I'm depressed, I don't know what to say to these people.  So, mania does have its advantages.

I know I shouldn't be a bitch to these people because it is their jobs, but I do live in the state of PA and once we say NO, it means NO.  They're suppose to take our number off their calling lists and never call back.  HA!  They still keep calling me.  And I STILL have to tell them the same story.  Now I have to tell them that my mother is my power of attorney and I have no rights.  Which is sorta true.  She handles my bills, but she really doesn't have power of attorney over me.  Oh well.  At least when I'm manic I can defend myself against MCI, or Earthlink, or whatever they're trying to sell me.  It just pisses me off.  It's almost like they're raping me of my rights.  And I know my rights as a Pennsylvanian.  I've looked them up and I've even signed up for the "No Call" list.  Granted I know this will take awhile to go into effect, but still, you'd think after telling them to quit bothering me they'd get the hint.  I've even told them that I'm not of sound and mind.  That doesn't stop them either.  I think that makes them more eager to get a sale from me.  Well, it certainly isn't going to work.  So sad, too bad.

When I've had these moments when I've had upsetting calls from creditors about my debts, which because I have no money to pay back because of being on disability, I will go totally and completely batshit crazy on them.  I'll either cry and carry on, telling them, what if YOU made so much money a month and no one could help you?  Could you live like that?  Could you make ends meet?  Could you actually buy enough food to live off for a complete month on $90 in food stamps?  That usually gets silence on the other end of the line.  I have been hounded by these people for years.  There's nothing I can do about it.  I have always paid my bills on time before I had to go on SSD.  Now that I don't make an actually living wage, it's a whole different kettle of fish.  I will become extremely defensive with these people.  I will swear,  I will cry.  I will do whatever it takes for them to listen to me.  I hate doing it, but what can you do when they just don't seem to understand that I have no one else to turn to?  *sighs*  What would they do if I were in a mental hosptial?  Call there and ask if the doctors could pay off my debts?  I think not.

Elizabeth

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WOW:

I am going through  a thing with creditors, I have "ran away"  from real life a couple times once in th early 90's to the West Coast and once Left a Complimentary Therapy's course at college( Eastern Western Modalities of healing)

went to the airport and phoned my family from lampang thailand 4 months later. Going to the source of knowledge,

What seemed like a great idea at the time , like it mas destined......

Anyway I started working for a factory a couple weeks after getting out of the hospital and the companys started callingi was so stressed out how they talked to me i felt like a child being ridiculed. I know how you feel . I am putting a consumer something i can remember what it is called. where i will pay what i can afford to a trustee and and they must leave me a lone and get money from the trustee.

I am so  scared to be manic  "On the GO" my family calls it. I feel so inspired so assertive , so intelligent.....I have the ability to put things in motion, to make things happen, I network and connect people, and  then i get confused and  mistrustful, .........

and then i shut down and .....

Those creditors  made me want to run somwhere anywhere , i hope this consumer offer or whatever gets accepted.

My family wanted me to apply for disability They thought it would be less stress. so i am doing everything to get healthy. I want so bad to pay off my bills  and be able to take care of myself, to be self sufficient. 

I wish you good luck!!!

0

Oh I LOVE being manic when I get those phone calls.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Guest_seven_*

I've heard this question somewhere before and I don't really understand it.

I'm taking lithium and there's no way I could possibly get manic on this stuff. I feel like there's concrete in my shoes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i was unmedicated at the time i had my "defensive (hypo)manias." but still, even w/lamictal, i get the occasional hypo- which sometimes seems to be my way of escaping...

-7

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Does your body turn to mania to relieve the pain?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is a really interesting and insightful question.  I know my therapist would say yes about this regarding me.  But she has her own theories...

I am going to say yes to this as well but with a bit of a caveat.  It may happen at certain times but I really also think that it's the stress of the preceding event can also be a major trigger.

Karen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If Bipolar mania "saves" the day from depresion, does schizop. save the day from bipolar?

Is mania the pathologic "fight or flight" response?

Is anxiety just anger kept inside.  Is depresion just anger let out wrong.

I dunno WTF I'm talking about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

But my question to you other BPs is: Is your mania a defense mechanism against stress and depression? Does it start up at the hopeless times? Does your body turn to mania to relieve the pain?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

AARGH!! Whoever set up this board has a sadistic streak. Here it is chock full of manic sods like myself and it has a blooming "Flood Control mechanism" that stops you from posting like a spambot with ADD. I bet somewhere deep within the bowels of the server room is a sysop giggling...

Going back to your question...

As an Ultradian I have ample chance to test out this hypothesis.

Like twice  a day sometimes.

You see, I have only one steady state. Steady downwards.

Putting me into steady state is like slowly drowning a puppy. Soon I start squirming and wriggling and fighting like mad for air.... And Bang! I have cycled into manic.

This advice Works For Me, Your Milage May Vary, When in doubt, consult your health professional, may contain traces of nuts...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...