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Grocery stores....the slient killer?


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I just joined...so hello everyone.

Grocery stores. When I'm in the depths of depression or another of my "spaces" I walk around the grocery store fighting back tears for no particular reason. It's depressing and sterile I feel so alone (even if my family is with me). It takes everything I have not to run out screaming and crying. But even if I'm having a good day, even if I showered and feel good and collected I walk in there and I want to cry. Every time! So what is it about grocery stores that makes me feel like I'm dieing alone and unloved? What is it about being there that makes me feel like a fraud? Like I'm not one of "them"? Like I'm not even human... like I don't belong here? Like I'm pretending to be normal and failing misserably?

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Dude. I do all my shopping just about in Quik Chek (AKA glorified 7-11) because I hate grocery stores. I can do Target if someone is with me or if I am on the phone or really stoned. I avoid most if not all shopping until someone is with me. I think it has to do with not wanting to be alone with my thoughts.

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i agree. the grocery store can be a terrifying place depending on my state of mind. i usually blame it on overstimulation - the lights, the noise, the number of people, the colors - after i've sorted all that out i just feel tired and confused and i'd rather just stand there and cry than try to figure out what i'm supposed to be doing.

tried to take a job in a grocery store once. that lasted a month, and it was horrible.

good thing my family's gotta eat or else i'd do all my food shopping at the corner store, living on chocolate and yogurt.

great topic.

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I just seem to walk back and forth blindly between aisles..... even when I have a grocery list.

I make a grocery list in "real-time" (stuck to my fridge, add items as I figure out I need them) and take it with me...

If I remember to take it with me...

Then I need to remember to read it while in the grocery store...

...and stick to it...

(This week I forgot where the grocery store was, though that's because I only go every month or so).

...now for sticking to my list... that's how a $20 shopping trip turns into a $50 one.

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It's the overstimulation that kills me. Plus, it seems like there isn't anybody in the aisles I'm NOT IT but the particular aisle I need to go down is polluted with Aunt Betsy who weighs 400 pounds and her great grandma who's in a one of those buggies on wheels and they're taking up EVERY SQUARE INCH of the ONE GOD DARN AISLE I want to get to!

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I just joined...so hello everyone.

Grocery stores. When I'm in the depths of depression or another of my "spaces" I walk around the grocery store fighting back tears for no particular reason. It's depressing and sterile I feel so alone (even if my family is with me). It takes everything I have not to run out screaming and crying. But even if I'm having a good day, even if I showered and feel good and collected I walk in there and I want to cry. Every time! So what is it about grocery stores that makes me feel like I'm dieing alone and unloved? What is it about being there that makes me feel like a fraud? Like I'm not one of "them"? Like I'm not even human... like I don't belong here? Like I'm pretending to be normal and failing misserably?

Hey there, Twisty. That's depression. No doubt about it. That's the desperate, painful version that I had for a bunch of years. Stick with whatever your doctor(s) advise. I have a phrase that gets me through these days: "Keep your head down". I don't know why, but it gives me the energy to get through the day. Coworkers and others have accepted the fact that I will engage to a point, then occupy myself with a busy task alone for a while. Not advice. It just works for me.

I don't have a doctor at the moment. I went from one psychologist to the next for years. 5 visits was my record. The I finally found an amazing one. She helped a lot and her philosophy on mental health was refreshing. It wasn't about making me able to function like everyone else. It was about finding the limits of what I am capable of and not feeling like shit for not being able to do more. And then she moved away.... it would be 9 hours round trip for me to see her now. I go through periods, sometimes long ones where I feel healthy and fine. Then it comes back... I'm not so much depressed... I just feel crazy...out of place. Depression goes with it of course. I just got back from the grocery store with my husband. Pumpkin pie, chocolate cake and organic raspberry popcicles! I don't eat when I'm depressed. But crazy me loves pumpkin pie and chocolate cake! And because it was closing time it was empty. I justfocused on the pie and did ok.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm really sensitive about other people seeing what I buy at a grocery store. I don't know what this is. But I hate now that they don't want you to self-checkout if you have more than 15 items at a lot of places. Because the worst part of the grocery store experience for me is the checkout people, who are always judging me by my purchases in my head.

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I'm okay as long as I keep moving. I can't tolerate standing in line, I feel like everyone is staring at me, so I always try to go at an uncrowded time. And yeah, the boxes and displays that scream out at you, each trying to get your attention. When I was eliminating carbs, I would only shop the perimeter of the store... veggies/fruits, dairy, meat... I dunno, those aisles seemed a little calmer.

I can't stand seeing someone I know... I duck and hide. Grocery stores can be nerve-wracking.

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