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Does depression ever go away?


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This is a question I often struggle with.

Of course the pdocs spout off statistics about if you have had more than 2 episodes of major depression then the probability that you will have another one is much higher. I don't remember the exact numbers, something like 90% or something.

But I don't want to be a statistic! I want to prove that little idea wrong. But part of me thinks maybe the struggle is futile and I should just accept it.

I don't know.

Ever time I have tried to discontinue my antidepressant (2 times so far) within 3 months I'm in a DEEP depression...MUCH worse than BEFORE I was on medication. My pdoc says well that just signifies that you need medication. But I'm not satisfied with that answer. What if my brain was going through something similar to withdrawal because it adapted to the SSRI I had been on for over a year? Where are the long term studies of these drugs? There aren't any! We are part of a big uncontrolled experiment.

I do know that each episode gets harder to treat.

So I take my AD each day out of fear. Fear of the abyss.

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I went last summer about 3 months without my AD - (the patch left horrible marks on me)

I was doing good till I had to start dealing with shit in my life. As long as I stayed away from certain things - I was fine

So I am back on the AD - only real depression episodes was when my mom died & I still have my moments - but I know that is a situational thing and that I will eventually be ok with it.

My pdoc says I have relationship depression - so I suppose that as long as I don't have any relationships I'll be ok? I would think that that would mean not being around the ppl I love - how am I supposed to do that? So I stay on my AD, plus other meds.

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Try not to feel bad about lack of replies. Lots of people just don't know what to say. I say depression is forever, but my family on both sides have been affected for generations. Maybe people with no family history have a better chance at recovery. I don't know. Something to research when I'm feeling less depressed I guess.

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wakko---

Looks like a lot of your depression has to do with grief caused by the loss of your mother. That's considered perfectly normal and doesn't get medicated much. Or isn't supposed to be, according to my psych textbooks.

And relationship depression generally means it's due to one or more of your current relationships. Becoming a loner doesn't help depression at all (I know this firsthand... and well, I'm still finding out).

If it makes things feel better (I'm not sure it will), I've pretty much resigned myself to 1+ pills a day for life. I had that sentence placed on me in 1999, when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. And the number of pills has increased (and correlated pretty well with treatment of my BP2 depression). Some brains just aren't "normal" enough to put one in a decent mood for a large part. I should know, mine's one of them.

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thanks for the reply, scatty & fous

I know a lot of my depression right now is because of my mom and the lack of support from my husband (which is a totally different thread)

But I really don't want to be medicated for the rest of my life (and yeah, depression runs in my family also)

So, should I really resign myself to what my future is going to be?

Always having to pop a pill to keep from killing myself?

Who knows?

Was just looking for what other ppl think

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This is something I think a lot about, not all the time, but periodically. Like now. I've stayed on the meds this time for over two years now, and life is good. That's the problem. It gets me to wondering whether I really need to be taking them. And that is why I continue seeing my pdoc, who reminds me that my depression is, remember, recurrent. As in the 90% range once you've had two or more episodes.

So, logically, I know that I'll probably be taking them for the long haul. The alternative is just too scary.

And then there's the realization that, for me, each episode is harder to bring under control, harder to recover from, and leaves me more cognitively damaged.

I try not to let myself think about it. It's better that way.

Greeny

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Hmm I think it depends on the causes of the depression. If your depression is reactive to things in your life then I think it's possible to go unmedicated and non-depressed when your life is great which I'm hoping mine will be one day. If your depressed for no reason and have been for a long time I think it's harder and more possible that you'll have to take AD's for the rest of your life.

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hi, greeny & maceo - thanks for your input

me, too, has been dx'd with recurrent depression

my life is so screwed up - so I know what the triggers are right now

but I do times of being depressed for no reason

I know I've been on meds for at least 10 years now.

So, I don't know - there are other ppl out there that say do exercises, eat this, drink that, blah blah blah

Does that really work?

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me, too, has been dx'd with recurrent depression

my life is so screwed up - so I know what the triggers are right now

but I do times of being depressed for no reason

I know I've been on meds for at least 10 years now.

So, I don't know - there are other ppl out there that say do exercises, eat this, drink that, blah blah blah

Does that really work?

Hi wakko, I've got recurrent depression also and I know what my triggers are. Major changes in life, lack of support, being alone and trying to survive in this world (which can be f'n hard when you're depressed).

Sometimes when things are going well and I'm stable on my medication, I'm able to be more positive and when I am like this, I'm ABLE to do thing like exercising, eating well and looking after myself. So when I'm feeling good/ok I can do all these things that are meant to help.

But I've found if I go off my meds, it doesn't take long to start getting depressed again and then if something happens in life I have trouble dealing with I slide down even further and am just UNABLE and unwilling to exercise and eat properly, I just can't find the mental energy to look after myself in those times.

So I know now to stay on my meds. Doesn't mean I'll be on them for the rest of my life, but at least for the foreseeable future.

Wakko you and I both have childhood issues complicating things as well (rejection by mother, as I remember was your case as well). My childhood emotional abuse has affected almost all aspects of my life as an adult. Ive read a lot about it online and my tdoc says the only way to fix it is with therapy. I'm hoping this is true because I want to be free of depression one day and live a normal life.

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Wakko,

I think the causes of depression can be complex, family history, genetic disposition, traumatic events, brain chemistry, substance abuse, social isolation, lots of things can leave us vulnerable to it. I do wonder if I will ever fully recover from what ails me, if I am BPII then all I can expect is relative stability between episodes, and if I am BPD then there is often little hope. But I am determined to focus on the present moment and have the best life that I can have right now. That does mean taking a heckload of meds but I am prepared to do so if it means I get a little pleasure out of life.

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Wakko you and I both have childhood issues complicating things as well (rejection by mother, as I remember was your case as well). My childhood emotional abuse has affected almost all aspects of my life as an adult. Ive read a lot about it online and my tdoc says the only way to fix it is with therapy. I'm hoping this is true because I want to be free of depression one day and live a normal life.

you are right about that one - and her dying hasn't exactly helped things

I go to therapy every 2 weeks and I've been seeing this guy for like 7 yrs now!

Looking for love in all the wrong places - my life story

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thanks Karuna & HerTommy for your input

I really don't know a whole lot about BP - but I do think I may be borderline - just because of the severe mood swings I get - anyway, I suppose being dx'd as BP you would have to look at being on meds forever. I suppose it just really sucks right now thinking of that.

HerTommy - I am sorry your meds aren't working for you - you would think as many times that you have been to the hospital (I do occasionaly check on your thread ;) ) they would of figured it out by now. Hoping some peace to come your way and for everyone else also.

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if I am BPD then there is often little hope
There is lots of hope Karuna...newer treatments ( DBT ) and a better understanding of what it is. Don't let misguided health professionals (with their own biases ~ they're only human) convince you it's untreatable. They say people with bpd project...sheesh...I think the less enlightened health-care professionals get caught up in their countertransference to the nth degree. There isn't enough compassion for people with this illness (but plenty of judgement), and so many patients internalise that as another reason to lose hope. I know I struggle with that...having recently been given a bpd trait label. My psychologist vehemently disagrees with this diagnosis, but it's now on file at the clinic. Which means any other Dr's I have contact with will see that when I they request my medical history. Which means I have to deal with the predjudice of other Dr's also. I'm not being unrealistic in making that assumption. It's already happening.

Karuna, everyone deserves adequate treatment...regardless of diagnosis. Where you have learned, and convinced yourself that there is little hope for actively treating it, I don't know. But there is hope..despite still being quite depressed, I still hold on to the belief that there is hope. There may be others reading this who don't want to give up hope either.

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HerTommy - I am sorry your meds aren't working for you - you would think as many times that you have been to the hospital (I do occasionaly check on your thread ;) ) they would of figured it out by now. Hoping some peace to come your way and for everyone else also.

Wakko,

Things have been much better since the last meds change, at least I'm stayin' out of the hospital :)

Tommy

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hi, greeny & maceo - thanks for your input

me, too, has been dx'd with recurrent depression

my life is so screwed up - so I know what the triggers are right now

but I do times of being depressed for no reason

I know I've been on meds for at least 10 years now.

So, I don't know - there are other ppl out there that say do exercises, eat this, drink that, blah blah blah

Does that really work?

Well there are studies supporting regular exercise (30 mins three times a week?) to be as effective as antidepressants for mild-moderate depression. I'm severely depressed and barely have the energy to shower let alone fucking exercise. I want to do it but I am sooo tired. I think if you can do it, great try it I'm sure it helps some people.

As for eating healthy I don't think there's any evidence supporting that as a treatment for depression but it's probably a good idea anyway.

I hate how people say things like "you've just got to think positive, go out with your friends a lot and eat well". When your so depressed you can barely resist the temptation of suicide that shit doesn't help..

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Well there are studies supporting regular exercise (30 mins three times a week?) to be as effective as antidepressants for mild-moderate depression. I'm severely depressed and barely have the energy to shower let alone fucking exercise. I want to do it but I am sooo tired. I think if you can do it, great try it I'm sure it helps some people.

As for eating healthy I don't think there's any evidence supporting that as a treatment for depression but it's probably a good idea anyway.

I hate how people say things like "you've just got to think positive, go out with your friends a lot and eat well". When your so depressed you can barely resist the temptation of suicide that shit doesn't help..

no offense, Maceo - but your reply did make me smile

probably cause I know exactly what you mean! ;)

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I personally will be on meds for the rest of my life. I agree with what people have said about situational depression. I've known people to go on AD's and not see a huge change so they went off. Whether they really needed meds, or should be on meds continuously, is another issue.

I also have this wacky notion about once your brain gets used to meds, it is never the same again. Brain says "Hey - I don't have to work as hard to survive, I could get used to this!" Then brain relies on the meds for chemical enhancement. Take that enhancement away and brain goes "Whoa, just when I was stable you go and mess things up again? How am I supposed to deal now knowing what I am missing?" I think at least part of my notion is based on a study somewhere or other, but I am fuzzy on details.

The whole exercise/eating right thing only goes so far. I guess if I led a "clean" life my body would be happier, but I swear when I was skinny and healthy looking on the outside my brain was still unhealthy. My mom is having an issue with my health - I'm overweight, I smoke, I don't clean my apt (not that I have ever been a tidy person) - and believes that if I could just do these things I would be better off. I say that SHE would be happier with me because appearances are HUGE in her world, but I don't know how much it would actually improve my mood. So why not enjoy myself with crutches like food and smokes, and just lie around in my sty of an apartment like the piggy I am... ;)

I digress.

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