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Hello,

Let's try this again. As a few of you know, I posted, then chickened out and deleted my post. I am trying again, perhaps a shorter version, maybe this will scare me less and I won't delete it right away.

I have been extremely suicidal, and just moved to Texas a few months ago, and had not gotten a new pdoc yet. Well, I got in with my new pdoc very quickly given the fact that I was a complete basketcase. She is starting me on Seroquel and tapering me down to 1mg of Risperdal. (Have been on 4mg for a while now.) And, well, she is talking about starting me on an MAOI next week when I go back. I will post some questions I have about that on the AD board, but anyway, I am a little nervous about that.

She then diagnosed me as Schizoaffective, gave me a Seroquel starter pack, and sent me on my way. No talk of hospital admission, even though I almost killed myself a couple of times early this week. Weird. But I do feel a very small glimmer of hope, now that I have a new pdoc that seems nice.

So anyway, I'm 24, Schizoaffective, and terrified of people, so I have been lurking for a long time before I registered and posted anything. So that's me. I like this board, it is different, and people get to the point instead of all the mushy gushy stuff. I like it.

T.A.

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Hi, TA! I'm glad you re-posted. Don't hesitate around here, just jump in and start talkin'! I hope the seroquel works for you, and quickly. It seems to have really helped me, although I've been through hell trying to find the right med combo. I just came off risperdal a couple of months ago.

I'm from Texas <San Antonio>, but live up north now.

Welcome.

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Hi! I think I might have welcomed you before.

If you are concerned you might kill yourself, please contact your pdoc and tell her about it specifically. You can ask her for a hospitalization. Even if she says no, you are within your rights to ask. Or to go to the ER.

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Welcome T.A.

We are glad you are here!

I live in Texas.

Don't want to give too much of my personal info out, but if you have any questions about the state or resources in the city you live in PM me, because I've moved around to most of the major cities here in Texas and used the mental health system in most of them. ;)

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She then diagnosed me as Schizoaffective, gave me a Seroquel starter pack, and sent me on my way. No talk of hospital admission, even though I almost killed myself a couple of times early this week. Weird. But I do feel a very small glimmer of hope, now that I have a new pdoc that seems nice.

So anyway, I'm 24, Schizoaffective, and terrified of people, so I have been lurking for a long time before I registered and posted anything. So that's me. I like this board, it is different, and people get to the point instead of all the mushy gushy stuff. I like it.

T.A.

Hey TA ;)

Glad you're back, I think I might have welcomed you before (but I know that I read your post anyway) starting smaller on the lifestoryscale can sometimes be a good idea. Ease your way into the community if that's gonna work for you (that's what I've been doing...a LOT of reading and a post here and there). It's great that you found a pdoc that seems to be able to work with you, but if you feel suicidal again, PLEASE don't wait to call her, or go to the ER. Set up a plan *now* just in case with all of the numbers you'll need if you feel that way again and maybe a friend or family member should know how low you've been so if you need to call them they will be on the same page as you already. Just a thought (I have a suicide hotline programmed into my cell phone listed under 'Z', as in my last option) just in case it's a lot easier to deal with small things like phone numbers when you're in a calm state of mind.

Anyway, that's my 2cents, hope to see you around the boards and that you'll feel better soon,

meg

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Hello All,

Thanks so much to everyone for the welcome, (and to resonance for welcoming me twice,) and thank you all for your concern. I got a Seroquel starter pack and have been titrating up, and took my first 300mg Seroquel last night. I am still feeling depressed and hopeless, but not so bad that I feel I need to stick my head in an oven. Still need something else to pull me out of this depression, though. I have another pdoc appt. this Thursday, so wish me luck.

Anyway, enough rambling, thanks again everyone. I'm trying not to be so scared and post a little here and there. I guess it's not so terrifying.

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