saliferous Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Please help me guys, i'm so confused, can't recognise my own emotions/if i am feeling anything at all. i'm on auto pilot, i'm not functioning with any feeling or deep thought as my brains shut off my body-heart-soul to just basics. the thing is i know i'm not not having a breakdown again as i know i'm still there somewhere, i just cannot come out no matter how determined i am . i cant express myself as i can't remember &or decide if i am recognising things correctly but yet i haven't lost confidence/faith in myself. . its like i'm a foreigner that my brain doesn't understand. i'm extr' certain i'm dyspraxic & desperate to get diagnosis but don't know what to say & if i should see gp or pdoc? pdoc has sent me away 4 another month on cymbalta b4 trying meds suited to adhd (he thinks prob had as child resulting in present troubles) i need to do something asap as i'm losing the battle for sanity & i've never been this astray from real world in 12yrs ive been dealing with menhealth. am shi**ing it. your advice will be so important to me right now. (Ps has taken me over an hour to type this! the irony makes me blimmin laugh..) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GroovyGwen Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 I get all emotionally detached too. I think it is the meds working a little too well. Unmedicated I cry at the drop of a hat, well-medicated sometimes my puppy can get run over by a car and I don't care... figuratively speaking that is. If you really think you are "losing the battle for sanity" then you NEED to go back to your pdoc and tell him. Tell him/her flat out that this isn't working and you need immediate change. It's your right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliferous Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 thank you. not sure whats worse, being emotionally reckless or scarily unfeeling!.. i desperately need a 'happy' (excuse frase..) medium. i'm useless as it stands & need to be focusing & strong more so than usual at the mo'. hopeful i manage to find the words to explain myself at pdoc's, thanks again gwen' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
themind Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Just wanted to drop in and say I can relate. I know for me, when I've been in the depths of a major depressive episode, it's like I've lost my soul, my sense of self. I am just a hollow body of who I used to be. I have no opinions, preferences, etc. about things...which is NOT the case when I'm baseline. It is so bizarre. To have this sense of alienation from your self. All I can say is that YOU are still in there somewhere and it is only a matter of time until you come back out to play. Until then, KEEP posting. I think it will help you alot to but your experiences into words...even if it takes a long time to do so. HUGS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliferous Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 thank you so much TM its so calming to know i'm not completely nuts. truely, thank you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Sal, I agree that a pdoc visit would be a great move. I often feel like that, and when I do I try to spend some time sitting in a relaxed way, slowly taking note of what I see, what I hear, what I can touch, what I can smell, and what I can taste. It just grounds me from the panic and makes me feel more connected and real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliferous Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 thats a good idea k. i'll give that a try, anything's worth a go if there is a chance of feeling even slightly better at times, isn't it? i'd run butt naked through the town if i thought it might help!!lol. thanks x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 As liberating as that might be to feel the breeze on your bits, I fear it it is illegal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliferous Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 he-he! i sometimes get the urge to do something outrageous!.., hmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betcsu Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 just wanted to say hang in there & that i certainly can relate. i was so paralyzed with depression last week, i barely got out of bed. letterally. and i'm on 2 ADs. go figure. anyway, hang in there and pray that this too shall pass! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToxicAngel Posted April 27, 2007 Share Posted April 27, 2007 I'm another one that can relate. I'm feeling numb again, too, so numb that I'm cutting again. Before I went to this new pdoc and had my meds tweaked, I was feeling too much and crying over everything, now it's like I just don't feel emotion for anything. So anyway, yeah, you're not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saliferous Posted April 29, 2007 Author Share Posted April 29, 2007 hi & thanks peeps. Toxic, sometimes it just feels like they'll never get the chemical balance right!? your either thrown into "ms. no personality"-numb beyond description, "ms. emotional turmoil"-stop the fucking world i wanna get off, or my personal favouorite "mrs. f*** it alll"-i do not give a sh**!. i called to get an earlier app than proposed with pdoc, who obliged.. got letter 2 days later correcting it to previous, later date app!!? And these people SPECIALISE ,supposedly, in mental health.. talk about frustrating!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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