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The Smashed Lady

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First I must apologize mainly to Chinacat and Wifezilla. I saw an old lady get run over by an RV in front of Macy's and I was about a foot away from her. The blood was pouring from her head into a pool about 5 ft long. It was coming from her head ears and mouth. Her eyes stared vacantly. I stared at her for a long time and called 911. I waited for them to come and put a blanket over her. Then I walked into the store and shopped. I really didn't care.


When I told my Pdoc he said I had him to thank for that (meaning the drugs) Do I want to be like this? I sometimes think of the old lady if I see one crossing the street but with no emotion. What would be a normal reaction?

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I wouldn't be so sure that all of your reaction has to do with the meds.

Seeing someone get hit and run over like that is pretty damn traumatic. Sometimes we have weird reactions to trauma. And sometimes the aftershock can leave you dissociated for a long time afterwards. Especially dissociated from the specific event, or seeing something that reminds you of it (like seeing another old lady cross the street).

I'm just noting psych's consensus opinions here... I've yet to see (third party) someone suffer severe injury or death. (I myself have had major injury before, but it was to my head, so I can't speak for what made me forget what happened that particular week.)

And as far as what you did, well calling 911, of course, was the right thing. You did care enough to quickly go do exactly what was called for.

In any event, I can see how meds could potentially cause apathy (it's a well-known side effect in MI patients receiving meds in general). Before Lamictal, I doubt I could have stern-facedly lectured my own mother about the fact she was a total neurotic idiot. I used to be sensitive enough that trying to do that would send me screaming.

I'm not sure how I'd react to the situation you ended up in, but it probably would have involved calling 911 immediately, as you did.

In the end, you're really stuck with the situation that you're not comfortable about your own reaction to something. If I were in your shoes, I'd be definitely getting into this with my tdoc... like I said, I'm not sure if it's all attributable to meds.

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What a sad incident.

I'd say there has to be a freaking balance. No, you don't want to be so overwhelmed with emotion at a trauma that you are unable to act...but feeling completely numb to that would feel weird to me.

BUT, maybe that is your mind's way of dealing with the trauma is to shut off your emotional switch and in a way deny that from your conscious awareness...maybe that is not so much the drugs but a major defense mechanism to a major stressor?

What about positive emotions? Able to experience any of those? Love (not romantic) towards others?

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