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The Lighter Side of Being Bipolar


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As I have been reading some of the posts on this board, I am struck by how negative most of them are. People are either coping with depression or managing the bad side of mania. I am one of them. But I was just wondering if anyone has ever done something really great while manic or hypomanic. Something you might even be proud of.

For me, I planned my whole budget for the year down to the penny, made gobs of jewelry for which I have no use for, wrote a 26 page paper on self injury when it was only supposed to 8-10 pages, read a ton of books, knitted 2 scarves in one night, cleaned my apartment from top to bottom multiple times,...I suppose that's it for now.

This idea just occured to me mostly because I was near catatonic over the weekend and I turned the corner into hypomania today. I'm trying to enjoy my happy high while it lasts.

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I've done some pretty cool stuff while hypomanic. I painted just about every surface in my apartment (lamps, refrigerator, random clothes) and hung every picture I have on the walls. I've also gone shopping of course (typical) and got a couch and a nice recliner. While in school I rocked about every paper I wrote by forcing myself manis pretty much. Also I lost a ton of weight with an extended hypomanic episode. Working out 5 times a week and generally being a spazz.

Unfortunately, there are always consequences. With the shopping comes debt, with the picture hanging comes the inevitable spackling, with the painting comes crazy lamps and fridge that make people go "Hmmm". Also, the supposed damage to one's brain while hypo ain't so hot. And the depression that usually follows.

But yeah, I get a lot accomplished while hypo. This last go round I didn't want to be medicated to get rid of the hypo, I was perfectly happy. (My argument? "But my apartment is clean for the first itme in months!") But in the end I let the doc prescribe abilify and the hypo promptly went away.

Ever have a catatonic mixed episode? THose are always fun. Stuck to the couch but with head racing. ALmost like a trance for me.

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Spacklespacklespacklespacklespackle.

Spackle Kingdom, located in Eastern Georgia until 5/20/2007.

<<< moving out of apartment 5/20

I could use a hypomania now (for purposes of spackling), but Lamictal has kept my mood surprisingly level for the past 18 months (save for the time I tried to cut the dose in half, from 400mg to 200mg).

In lieu, Focalin has given me the focus and energy that Provigil didn't (though I have to give credit to Provigil for actually pulling me awake at appropriate times). Focalin suffices for spackling, for sure. And a few other things (namely scrubbing and vacuuming).

Though, the best thing I like about hypomania, and perhaps BP2 in general, is some optimism during depressive periods. Namely, that I'll come out of them eventually (for better or for worse).

Actually, now that's all irrelevant, since my meds seem to be keeping the biological aspect of my depression down very well. Now the situational aspect of it, that's a different story.

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I love the creativity of mania. It just flows, with no effort, and I (like the Energizer bunny) just keep going and going and going...

Depression and some awful meds sucked it all out. Now I'm trying to get back on my feet, the creativity is more of a chore, a struggle, but it's slowly coming back.

God, yeah, I love a good mania.

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I wrote and submitted seven poems for publication (five were accepted) while hypomanic. Best literary week of my life. Unfortunately, now I'm trying to write more for submission and I'm getting nothing but white noise and really bad nonsensical junk. I just wish I could distill the creativity of hypomania and have it without the accompanying "I'm queen of the universe/let's spend this year's salary" moments.

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Hypomanias at school saw me write some very eclectic - but extremely well-received - pieces of coursework, plus what Rabbit said about creativity. I could do with some mild hypomania right now to get through the next couple of pieces of coursework....*sigh*. On the high side of hypo, I also clean the house, which is great, 'cos I almost never do it otherwise! (yes, I'm a skank ;) ).

In full mania, however, I just drink, smoke, spend, dance and have unsafe sex. Nothing good about any of that....

xx

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there have been a few times in my life when being hypomanic has been a real bonus. now, my manias are VERY scary and dstructive, however hypomanias have sometimes been helpful.

when i was a student in both college and grad school (i've had a semester of grad) i was hypo and brought in some killer grades.

there was also when my dad was going through legal problems and my siblings got taken from him and given to me. my pdoc took me off of my mood stabilizers and put me on just paxil so i could go into hypo- on purpose- to deal with suddenly being a mother, going to grad, and carrying a full time job at once. we monitored it and were ready to put me on an atypical if i got out of line, but i was "fine" so we kept it that way until the stresses retreated and i could be brought down again. it was strange that my pdoc did that, but he understood that there wasn't any other way i could do it without ending up in the mental hospital. he would rather have seen me a little up and handling the situation than down and suicidal.

so sometimes, yeah for hypomania.

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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Heh Heh,Stasis

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