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How to communicate/deal with Friends?


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Anyone else have a hard time talking/communicating with their friends about their depression (or other MI if anyone else is reading)?

For example:

Roommate- 'my day was bad because of this and this and that. aaargh. I'm in such a bad mood, I can't believe soandso did this/that again!...etc."

Me- (gives any comfort and advice possible) 'I'm not having a great day myself.'

Roommate- 'why? what happened?'

Me- 'um, well, nothing new...just have this general suffocating blanket of pain, sadness and numbness wrapped around me all the time...I entertain ideas of suicide even though I won't ever do it to you all, everytime I drive through an intersection I secretly wish that someone will run a red light and hit my car, I try really hard to appear normal and I know we're really close so you hate the idea of me 'faking' with you but I can't help it-you'd be soooo sick of me if I was 'myself' the way I am now, all the time. I know you don't 100% believe in all this medication stuff but that's all that I can think about lately since I'm switching around drugs and doses to try and get things right and it's killing me to have to try this or try that and wait and wait, I just want to be NORMAL!!'

well, I never say that last part. I lied. It finishes like this:

Me- 'oh, I'm just down today, bleh.'

Roommate- 'why? did something happen?'

Me- (don't have the energy for this conversation again) 'oh nothing, I guess I just have a headache, I'm going to bed'

Roommate- 'another headache? I'm worried about you! you get them all the time!'

Me- 'yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, I'm talking to the doctor, goodnight'

Anybody else have this problem? any suggestions?

I feel like all I ever do with my close friends is complain about mood and medication and lately I've just STOPPED because I could tell they didn't get it and were getting sick of it. I feel so alone when that happens. Glad I have the board, but still, ya know?

meg

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I do know exactly what you mean! It's every conversation I ever have with "normal" people. I can't bore them to death or freak them out with the truth, so I just say, "oh, I've been busy, what's up with you?" I hate that. If we all had broken legs in a cast, we wouldn't have to hide it.

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I do know exactly what you mean! It's every conversation I ever have with "normal" people. I can't bore them to death or freak them out with the truth, so I just say, "oh, I've been busy, what's up with you?" I hate that. If we all had broken legs in a cast, we wouldn't have to hide it.

Thanks Libby,

I know what you mean about the broken legs thing too-- it's so frustrating and isolating ;)

The minute I change my story to 'headache' which is something physical, everyone is worried or sympathetic...but if I'm 'just depressed again' then nothing.

Sucks, but I'm glad to not be alone in having the problem,

meg

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I know what you mean, too, and it causes me to just stop talking to my friends when I'm depressed. I don't take their calls, answer their emails... if they're lucky, they'll get a myspace comment. ;)

I just drop off the radar for months. It isn't good, and it ends up in this cycle wherein I'm then afraid to call them when I'm feeling better because I haven't had much of a life and don't have anything to talk about and whatever. It's really ridiculous. I feel very blessed to have a couple of people in my life who know that I disappear for periods of time and that accept that and welcome me back with open arms. But when I say couple...I really mean couple. Like 2.

I wish I had a solution for you... but it's something that's very hard for me, too. I'm very lucky to have those couple people who accept me. Although since my craziness involves a fair amount of acting out and illegal and off-color things, sometimes I don't think they'd really accept me, if they knew the extent of it.

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I wish I had a solution for you too, but I don't. I've given up. I've started to just ignore people more and more, online and in life, because dealing with them is too difficult. It's not good, I know. But i don't care enough to do anything about it.

Bern

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