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75 and still alive


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it is hard to continue to not do something when it is one of the only things you think about. it is similar to what one of my acting teachers said about going on stage if you *think* about your habits, you wil inevitably do it... if you keep saying to yourself "I will not think about how nervous I am, I will not think about how nervous I am..." well... guess what you are thinking about??? yeah...

i keep looking at my arm, at the scars... i keep thinking about how weak i am because i always inevitably break...

i am surprised i have gotten this far bc i have really not been doing well at all, but i guess i have been hurting myself with other things instead of cutting and... i don't know...

i'll stop now. i never know what to say... no one ever knows what to say to me... so why i am posting, i really do not even know...

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Oph,

What I am going to say is how fucking strong and amazing you are to have got this far. You've surpassed any of my efforts. Secondly, even if you do cut again, you'll still be a strong amazing person, because despite the occasional relapse, I truly believe that you want to get to a better place where cutting ins;t your reality. Please don't beat yourself up about you might cut in future, be proud of what you have achieved these last 75 days. I'm so proud of you. You give me hope.

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way to go Ophelia!

Good news threads are very uplifting

and yeah what karuna says

75 freaking days yeah

if you slip

you slip

committed to your health...is a fantastic goal

and 75 freaking days yay!

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Congrats, that is longer than I have gone. I imagine the tension is great but remind yourself that what you are doing is important and look how far you have come. Also come here for support and we'll back you up.

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I'm kinda thinkin'...maybe focus on more positive thoughts, less on the scars?

See now, I never really had that problem...I never really thought I had scars...until I got my eyes fixed. now I can see scars criss-crossing my chest all over...but I don't dwell on it! (OK, all honesty, my fiancee won't let me)

Only thing I can really say: I try not to dwell on the past or look to the future...right now is all I can affect, and let the cards fall as they may. What I did is done. What I will do, I'll worry about when it comes. What I do now...that's all I can control, really.

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