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Nikki the uptight paranoid manic depressive


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I'm Nikki, 22 from the London, UK and I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, BPD, self harm, bit of alcohol problems, anxiety, paranoia and panic attacks. I am not on any meds at present and have been on Citalopram, Prozac, Mirtazapine, Valproate. I am kind of against meds as all they did was make me sick but therapy and CBT did help wonders. The amount of times I have ended up in emergency room is countless due to my self destrucutve ways and hopefully that's all behind me. I am an English Lit student in London and must say I do enjoy reading a heck of a lot. Also going out a getting drunk and listening to music. I feel like my head is going to explode with all the paranoia, confused states, negativity and intellegence that it makes me so frustrated. I used to self harm but I have scars all up my left arm now which looks pretty hectic and there is no way in gettting rid of them now so I will have to deal wiht the pain and intrusive questions. I would describe my self as a slight hippie chick with my strict vegetarianism, my free spirit and my music and fashion tastes.

I joined this board as a place to vent my frustations and meet like minded people who I can support and get support from. As all I hear from my friends is to 'calm down and chill out and stop being negative'...if someone says that to me I will cut them... ;)

That's me

love.

xx

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Hi Nikki, I'm your age and from the UK too, and I am cursed with bipolar! Feel free to contact us mods if you have a problem or a question. Feel free to be your real self here, we're pretty easygoing and honest, none of that 'just cheer up, man' bullshit here!

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Hi Nikki, and welcome! I also have bipolar disorder and have been through a ton of meds, but I finally found a combo that works really well for me (lamictal/lithium/seroquel and occasional klonopin).

I notice your userpic is very explicitly suicidal. Are you feeling okay?

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Thanks to you both, Karuna and Resonance for the welcome. And really should change my avatar as I''m not suicidal as such. Sorry Resonance, maybe feeling rather down at the moment. Good to see other people going through the same thing and yes, I've noticed it really easy-going her which I like! ;)

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Welcome to the boards, Nikki!

I was opposed to taking meds when I was first diagnosed too. I was the type of person who wouldn't even take asprin before I was diagnosed. Now I know that I have to take meds to survive. Therapy helps but the medications do a whole lot more. You may have to try several before you find a combo that works for you. I know that the side effects suck too but there are ways to manage them too.

Good luck! Nice to meet you.

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