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work related advice needed please


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Hopefully you guys can understand a bit where I'm coming from and help me out. I'm trying really hard to figure things out but struggling with a million thoughts swirling around in my head.

I've been off work a lot for the past 2 weeks, just calling in sick because I'm such a wreck and don't feel like I can work. I thought about starting to apply for other "lower-stress" jobs, but then i keep going back and forth. At one point I remember saying to my fiance something like "but I like my job, it's a grown-up job, I even get business cards" and he just responded with "then go back." I swear, I almost puked on him...that can't be normal.

That being said, I can't figure out what kind of work would be good for me. Sometimes I think I shouldnt' be working at all, but financially that just isn't an option. I just don't believe the job that I have is a good fit. Very early mornings, really long hours and 2 weeks on-call every month. It's just overwhelming. Plus, I have to deal with the public face-to-face a lot and I find that a little stressful. So I'm looking at some of the lower-stress call centre jobs in my area (i.e. no telemarketing)...ones where I can just go and put in my time and go home. But I'm not sure I want to make another switch.

I'm trying to start my own computer based business...I doubt I'd be able to generate enough to live off of but it'd be something, but I still need work in the meantime. But maybe you guys can sympathize...I just hate having a boss. I always have a problem with them (which I'm sure means it's a problem with me).

So anyways, I interviewed for a call centre job the other day, but now I'm making myself sick trying to decide what to do if they offer it to me. I seem to very rarely last longer than 3 months at any job (always quitting, not being fired) which makes me worried that I should just stick it out where I am. That being said, I get no sleep where I am and it's not very structured, which I sometimes think is really good for someone with BPD. Stuff is constantly coming up out of nowhere, I have to do runs to other businesses and places out of nowhere, late night phonecalls and emergencies etc...I'm thinking something more structured must be better.

Ok, I'm completely rambling now...but opinions would be very much appreciated.

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Don't have any helpful advice, but I totally understand your dilemma. I quit my job in IT a year and a half ago because of the stress and shitty work environment and I'm still not sure what to do with myself. I've decided to go back to school and maybe get enough education to become a teacher, but who knows how that will work out. I do agree with the thought that a more structured job would be good for someone with MI.

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Oddly enough, my MI has never interfered too much with my job. Granted, I allow myself some mental health days in which I call in sick simply because I can't convince myself to go to work that day. Yesterday actually was such a day. This morning I am just about ready to leave for work and I think my day off yesterday will help to alleviate some of the pressure I felt building up.

I don't know where you live, but call centers in my area are a pretty nice place to work. Being IT, as you said, may make you feel useless at a call center though. I did my time working tech support at a phone center, and I much more prefer my hands on IT job that I currently have. I guess it really depends on what exactly you want. I know you said laid back, but there may be a difference to you between laid back and boring. Call centers can become incredibly boring. I have found that working for a smaller business is nice. A place where you can get to know the people you work with and get the respect you deserve.

Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you'll make the right one.

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All things considered, if I were you, I'd take the call centre job, if you think you would be content there. You sound like your current job is exacerbating the stress you're under and making things worse for you. You might have left jobs for the wrong reasons in the past, it doesn't make your reasons now the wrong ones.

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Call centers can be a zoo. Kind of depends on the management. One place I worked had this big obnoxious LED sign that kept flashing how many calls were in the que and stats on how many calls were being answered per person and total calls, etc. The manager was totally focused on those numbers and really did not take in to account the complexity of the calls or anything. It was all about your numbers and if you were on the low end, you got taken to the managers office.

(Fortunately I was in another department.)

Just out of curiousity, what is your current job?

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